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The Times Picayune

My grandpa never drove from his house in St. Rose to the French Quarter on I-10. It was Airline Highway and Tulane Avenue all the way. Sure it took longer, there were a thousand red lights and urban blight on all sides, but that's how he liked to go, and if you were with him, that's how he was gonna take ya. That's how most New Orleanians feel about The Times-Picayune. It's a comforting presence that's been around since before ya mama was born. It's changed over the years, but you still got what you needed. As a journalist and native New Orleanian, my feelings are mixed about the T-P's decision to only publish a printed paper three days a week. That's like telling someone they can only have their morning coffee three days a week or only turn on the TV three times a week. It's a familiar link to the past (How many of yall go straight for the obits?), the present (What's da weather gonna be?), and the future (who da Saints playin' next week?). On one hand, this is the direction the news industry is heading. Eventually the line between internet, tv, radio and newspaper will be non-existent. The TP's move was partly because of this, and but mostly, I assume, because the industry is hurting for ad revenue so badly. Our culture as a whole is evolving toward getting information at the fastest pace possible. Reading a printed out newspaper with yesterday's news will eventually go the way of the telegraph and 8-tracks. You'll tell your grandkids, "Back in my day, we had the internet printed on paper. We called it a newspaper!" I know the daily newspaper in most parts of the country don't hold the sentimentality that the TP does. It is the exception, rather than the rule. Reading news on the printed page is a visceral experience as well as an intellectual one. It has a feeling of permanence. TV & Radio say it and its gone, and web pages are updated, but when it's in da paper, its dere fuh good. How many of yall saved the front page from Katrina or the Saints' Super Bowl victory? It's comforting to sit at the breakfast table, with the paper folded next to your plate reading about the latest political scandal. Sure you can do that with a laptop or iPad, but do you really want to shove one of those things under your arm as you head into the terlet? I think the fine folks at the TP know this, and that's why they've cut the paper down to three days. It would've been much more cost-effective to cut it out altogether and opt for an online-only newspaper. However, that would've prompted lawsuits, protests, and probably even a riot! That's why the Times-Picayune will not stop publishing a newspaper any time soon. We New Orleanians like our traditions, and we'll change 'em at our own pace.

Izzit Wrong?

Izzit wrong that I told a woman at work her 6-day-old turkey leftovers smelled like the twat of Satan's mother-in-law? If your food stinks, keep it home. I bring a sammich and ramen noodles that have no smell for this very reason. I don't wanna smell your shitty food, I don't expect you to smell mine.

Izzit Wrong?

Izzit wrong that I called a random co-worker "Welcome Back Kotter" just because he has a jew fro and a mustache?

Izzit Wrong?

Izzit Wrong that I didn't apologize to the weather anchor for taking a shit while he was putting on his make up in the newsroom bathroom? Izzit Wrong that I told a black lady at work she looked like Tara's crackhead mama on True Blood?

Twatsticles

I got no idea what that has to do with anything. I haven't written anything here in a while, so I'm writing something. It's the roadrunner and coyote.
I don't even know if coyotes really eat roadrunners. Just another fact I learned from cartoons. Like cavemen wrote on tablets with woodpeckers and when you bang someone on the head with a pan it makes a funny noise.

I've been writing business news on TV for a while now, and I've come to the conclusion that my best advice is for people to stop watching business news on TV. It'll just drive you crazy, may cost you money, and cause unnecessary panic. Yet my paycheck is based on reporting on such craziness, some of that paycheck gets invested in the things that I write about. Not quite a circle of life, but I think its interesting nonetheless. I've attempted several times to write stories that amount to telling people to calm the fuck down, but it's been poo-poo'd. Oh well, what do I know? People say our situation the US is so bad, but it's not. It ain't great, but it's a hell of a lot better than the rest of the world. What's the alternative? Living in China? The economy's great there, but you're living in fucking China. And those who blame the president or congress, if you're waiting for Washington to make your life better, you're deserve what you get. You think they can make the economy better? They can't. They can help it out, but in the end it rests on the shoulders of the people. Not the knuckleheads in DC, certainly not the guy sitting in the oval office. Of course I say this while we have 2 great jobs in our family. But that wasn't always the case, and I didn't whine, I worked like hell to make my situation better. I sacrificed, busted my ass, and didn't ask for the government to magically bestow a better job upon me. I learned many lessons, and now years later, I still work 6-7 days a week, even though I don't have to. I do it because want a lifestyle where I don't sweat when I'm paying bills and one that isn't dependent upon anyone but myself.

And what is this planking shit? Are you people retarded? Go fuck yourselves.

Louie is a good show.

What do you think? Hit reply and release your inner Denis Leary.

Annoying Newsroom Comments of the Day

From the same attention-starved idiot:
Let me go put my VEEEGGIIIEE BUURGGEERR in the refrigerator.
I'm used to places delivering until 3 am.

Whatever makes you feel better honey.
Jeez

Annoying Newsroom Comment of the Day

"Okaaay, talk to me later!"
Loudmouth broad's way of saying 'I'm so cool, this is how I end conversations.'
When I snap, that corner of the room's getting it first.

Newsroom Quote Of The Day

"He's funny for all the wrong reasons."

G, Cadd9, Am, D

And I'll lie too and say I don't mind
And as we seek so shall we find
And when you're feeling open I'll still be here
But not without a certain degree of fear
Of what will be with you and me
I still can see things hopefully

Annoying Newsroom Quote of the Day

"They been saying kids should eat dirt, cuz it gives them local immunity."

So much stupidity in so few words.

Humorous Newsroom Comment Of The Day

Anchor on the traffic getting into work Wednesday:
"Is there some kind of special needs conference going on downtown?"

Rare Newsroom Compliment of the Year

"02 was nicely nicely done. clear, concise and a pleasure to read"
After getting brow-beat all day, the anchor floated me some props.
It turned my shitty day around.
For now.

Annoying Newsroom Quote of the Day

"Alright, nobody talk to me until 5 o'clock."

It must be nice to be so important you can be a dick to your co-workers.
Co-workers that are working hard to make your dumb ass look good.