More stolen stills from the new Star Wars movie!

We have a mole within the George Lucas camp... who got us yet another still from the new movie, "Revenge Of The Sith"!

This movie is shaping up to be much better than the last two valiant attempts.

...in other words...

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
-- Henry Adams

1. Would you rather: be responsible for an oil tanker crash off the coast of alaska OR cause a rebellion in a developing nation? The oil tanker, fewer people would die. Tough shit for the animals.
2. get locked out of your house while naked OR throw up all over yourself in the middle of an important meeting? Throw up in a meeting, at least that way there's a chance my crappy co-workers would get sick too.
3. wake up to find your feet have grown two sizes OR hair all over your back that grows back every night? My feet, size 12 shoes aren't that weird.
4. eat nothing but cheese for a week OR only chinese food for two months? Chinese food. At least it would be different food.

These are a few of his favorite things!

He believes he can fly!

I'm gonna go friggin nuts

Ok, I read about that pig Rosie O'Donnell commenting on her website about stuff. This poem made me throw up my quesadilla:

michael jackson in his pj's made me cry
why has mario quit american idol?
the shick intuition razor is the best invention
since the tampon multi-pack

A multi-pack? She needs a rolled up army blanket and 17 tree-shaped air freshners.
And on the Mario American Idol thing... I'm sick of hearing about this douche. Who cares? Some idiot quits his only chance of stardom, and its news? People suck.

How much you wanna bet he's spinning Elton John and Michael Bolton CDs?
I'm in a pissy mood.

The Ole College Try

Since college basketballs been on and I've been writing and re-writing my resume, these answers were fresh in my mind.
1) Did you go to college? Yes, University Of Texas - Pan American. I got a BA in Broadcast Journalism.
2) Did you live in a dorm or an apartment? Not when I went to UTPA, but I did when I went to Nicholls State. It was an experience. Everyone should live in the dorms at least for one year of their college career. There was drinking, studying, and umm more drinking. It was cool to just pop your door open and somebody stop by to chat with you for a while. Both schools I went to were small, which was good.
3) Who was your favorite roommate? Bruno, he was like a big brother, and he was a fraternity brother as well.
4) What is your favorite college sport? Partying.
5) Who was your favorite professor and class? All of my journalism and TV classes were great. There were only 2 strictly TV professors. The rest were theater or speech professors who were kind enough to teach us TV flunkies.

While we're on the subject, there are 2, only only 2, good movies about fraternities: Animal House and Revenge Of The Nerds.

There are also two, and only 2, good movies about golf: Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore.

Agree? Disagree? What was your favorite lines from those flicks?
Hit comments and release your inner Belushi.

Stolen Stills From The New Star Wars Movie!!

I usually don't like pre-Star Wars Movie hype, but...

George Lucas is just wrong fuh dat!

Geraldo Visits Where Success Lives

What a weird day. I wake up to news that the guy who killed a judge and two deputies, and managed to elude the largest manhunt in Georgia history, was holding some chick hostage IN MY APARTMENT COMPLEX. Its a weird feeling when you put on Fox News Channel and see Geraldo Rivera doing a report from the front of your shitty subdivision, and then aerials of said complex. What next?

Hiding Under The Covers

News:
1. Michael Jackson: Did he do it? I wasn't there, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he did. I hope he gets thrown in jail and is tossed around like a salad before having to toss the salad. The friggin idiot shows up to court in his pajamas. He seriously needs a Godsmack.
2. Martha: Did she deserve prison? No, but I think its funny as hell that she got thrown in the pokie. Hopefully getting tattooed in the yard will humble her, and not have such a holier than thou attitude. I hope the first time she gets pissed at a production assistant or something, they turn around and say, "...oh I'm sorry, you're the first ex-con I've worked for..."
3. Bill Clinton: Think his wife is going to run for President? No way. Too many people hate her guts. I don't like her at all, and I think she'd be a horrible president. I don't think the country is open-minded enough yet to handle a female president. We MAY be ready soon for a black president, but he'd have to be light-skinned and extremely charismatic. Sen. Barak Obama has a chance, because by the time he gets his props in the senate, the country may have evolved past our racist tendencies. I'm not saying everyone in the country is racist, but there's a significant amount of people who are. They live in those red states (or was it the blue ones, I can't remember... the Bush states, anyway).
4. Madrid anniversary of 3/11: Are you thinking about it? Um no.
5. What's the headline of your local news outlet? The shooting of the judge and the manhunt for the shooter. Its a sad story. Glad I wasn't in the newsroom for that clusterfuck. I'd hate to see how the fuckwad news director is handling things. Probably screaming like a bitch.
Appetizer - Where do you go when you want to relax? To Bed.
Soup - Tell about something that made you laugh this week. Mr. Garrison got a sex change on South Park.
Salad - What is your favorite texture? smooth ass.
Main Course - If you were to publish your autobiography, what would the first sentence be? "What's holding you back?"
Dessert - Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? If so, how? Um no. I'm not irish, not that my nationality makes a difference. I'm Italian and I don't celebrate Columbus Day.
FQ1: If you could own any item from any movie, what would you take and why? Hmmm... a light saber... Prince's Motorcycle... Ron Burgundy's Jazz Flute....
FQ2: If you could become any character from any movie, who would it be and why? Dirk Diggler... for obvious reasons.
FQ3: If you could visit any location from any movie, where would it be and why? Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Just cuz its surreal, and there would be candy.

Its back to the 80s!

Play Nintendo and Sega video games online for free!

Blogger can bite my ass

I spent about half an hour typing a badass rant, with pictures and links... then I hit publish, and it says, "You must sign in first..." How the hell did I get to the new post screen if I didn't sign in? I bet its my paranoid firewall program deleting cookies and whatnot. Fuck 'em all. Its a conspiracy to piss me off.

Humbling Moment

Douchebag Prospective Employer At Shitty Temporary Job: "Where did you work before?"
Me: "I worked in TV."
Douchebag: "You worked on TVs?"
Me: "Um, no."

I'm square with Vishnu

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark sports.

How's Your Karma?

I'm a friggin genius

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

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Hey take a look to the right, please avail yourself of the many useful features just sitting over there. You can write me an email with a just a few clicks... you can send me an instant message if you have AOL instant messenger. You can leave your mark in the guestbook, and take a look at the pictures in the picture flicker. And if you have an atom reader, you can read the site via that with our handy dandy Atom Feed. If you've missed any nuggets of my genius (see the above designation), you can read or re-read them, if you're so inclined. Beneath that is the banner ads, feel free to click them and help a brutha out.

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As part of my adventures in unemployment, I'm taking a "Career Transition Class." We took the famous "Briggs-Myers" test. And those two bastards hit it right on the head. Here's the dynamic duo's assessment of yours truly:

Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.

Pretty accurate, huh? I think it was kinda spooky that they knew me. Some of the careers those two freaks suggested suck ass. Family Physician is the only decent job they mention, and thats just because it pays pretty well. It says I should be a Fashion merchandiser or a personal counselor. Right. Probation Officer or Inn keeper. Do they still have Inn keepers? Is this the 1800s? And a probation officer? What the hell? I'd just send all the bad guys back to jail. Why isn't porn star or rock star on the list? Can I pay off those dudes to put that on the list? Briggs & Myers should get with the guys who told me I was a genius, and that I'm going to invent the future of mankind. Could I do that if I'm an innkeeper? Chas The Revolutionary Inn Keeper? I could find a cure for cancer in between telling people that the "Spank-tra-vision" is on channel 69 in their room, and that if they need clean towels just dial 0.

Friday Feast

Appetizer - Who is the one person you email more often than anyone else? Tina

Soup - So far, which year of your life has been the most enjoyable? My first, all i had to do was eat, sleep and shit.

Salad - Name someone with whom you have lost touch but would like to reunite. Too many to name. Send me an email.

Main Course - What was the tastiest meal you had this past week? Quesadillas made with my new Salton™ Brand Santa Fe Quesadilla Maker. Available at finer department stores everywhere.

Dessert - Using the letters in your favorite color, write three words that describe your personality. Really Extremely Dorky.

Hootie makes me uncomfortable

This commercial is just too weird. How low has Hootie sunk when he's singing bluegrass on a BK commercial. I'm sure they're just trying to be campy and like an Old Navy commercial, but its just creepy. Hootie needs a job more than I do. I'm sure they're trying to do some kinda innuendo with the girls dancing with the buckets of ranch dressing, but its just weird.

What's your take? Hit comments and release your inner Hootie.

The News Of The World Ain't Good.

SAD: The Queen Of England met the Four of the greatest guitarists ever. Her response: "And what do you?"
SAD: Ozzy grabs his daughter's boob. The poor bastard probably didn't even know who he was grabbing.
SAD: Pamela Anderson doesn't want to strip any more.
SAD: Charlie Sheen dumps Denise Richards. What a scumbag. I got two words for him: Wild Things. Rent it, sitcom boy.

Like James Brown says, "Fellas, things done got too far gone."

New Month

Its March first, and while I'm not living in a house with D-List celebrities, it has been a Surreal Life.

During the month of February I've:

• Turned 32
  
• Interviewed 3.5 Celebrities
  
• Got mentioned in a national newspaper
  
• Been Fired
  
• Made at least 3 people cry
  
• Seen a new ultrasound of the baby
  
• Interviewed the first black president, and a civil rights leader
  
• Signed the contract to build my house
  
• Not killed myself or been killed by anyone.
  

Like they say, March comes in like a lion but leaves like a lamb. I hope so. Its gonna be an interesting year.

I'm Lois Lane

Congratulations! You are Susan Mayer, the divorcee
and single mom who will go to extraordinary
lengths for love.
Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday Twosome

1. Are you craving anything and if so, what? Vicodin injected right into my sinuses. Other than that, Quesadillas, made with my new Salton© Brand Quesadilla maker.
2. What is the weather outside, and do you wish it would change? Its just changed from rainy to sunny, and thats playing hell with my head, so I'll take any kind of weather, just as long as it stays the same.
3. What two websites do you think you will go to next after you are finished here? Fark.com or Drudgereport.com
4. Do you wish you were somewhere else and if so, where? Jenna Jameson's drawz
5. Do you wish you were someone else, and if so, who? Howard Stern

Oscars, etc.

1. Do you like awards shows? If you do, what do you like best about them? If you're not a fan, tell us why. I usually like the music-related ones, just because you see people play music, and musicians know the shows are bogus, and its just an industry's attempt at auto-fellatio. I watched the Oscars this year because I was over by a friends house with some friends and it was a good ending to a really really fucked-up few days.

This year's show was OK. Chris Rock seemed so out of place. It was like the ABC execs were keeping his pets hostage so he wouldn't make trouble. They did keep the show going fast by giving out awards in the audience. There were no of those cheezy song-and-dance number. It would be terrible to see Chris Rock doing a tribute to the Aviator by singing and dancing in an Aviator costume.

2. Which awards show is your favorite? Are there any awards shows you can live without? My favorite is the MTV music awards, just because its not usual top 40 people, and there none of those retarded categories like "Best CD spine art direction by a group or duo - Jazz." I can live without all the awards shows. I agree with Chris Rock... not only is it ridiculous for an industry to tell itself how great it is... but its also ridiculous to give an award on something as subjective as art.

3. Do you tune into the red carpet specials before the awards shows? Sometimes, if there's nothing else on. I can't take Joan and Melissa, and it'll be a cold day in hell before I watch 2 seconds of that pig Star Jones.

~ BONUS ~ Have you ever been to an awards show or to the red carpet? Is there one that you'd like to attend? Or would you be more interested in the after-show parties with the star I've never been to an awards show, but the Atlanta Grammy Chapter gives away awards for lifetime achievement, and I've been to that once. I saw James Brown and Bo Diddley sitting at the same table cracking jokes.. then I turned around and bump into TLC (the two not-dead members), then I made smalltalk at the bar with Nelson Eddy (the guy who made the Peter Gunn theme). It was cool. I'd love to go to the MTV Music Awards. Prince threw a Grammy afterparty last month, I'd give my left nut to show up there.