Sometimes

Sometimes when I pull off to leave the kid, I fantasize that you're inside, waiting for me to come in too.

Waiting for me to caress your face, look you deep in the eyes and tell you how much I love you. 

Sometimes I fantasize I open the garage door and the rav will be there. Sometimes I fantasize that I walk in and hear you laughing at the TV or your phone. 

I fantasize you aren't disgusted by me, and want me to come in. 

I fantasize that you want the bedtime stories to be true. 

I fantasize there's a place in your heart for me... And you realize that there is no one who will love you to the fullest extent of your wildest dreams. 

I fantasize about Sundays laying in bed talking about the future, one that doesn't make you sick to your stomach because its with me. 

I fantasize that you feel something besides disgust for me and everything about me. 

These wounds won't heal.

 The world keeps turning, and I'm floating through life trying to keep it together, and you're the only person who can cure me. 

This isn't about self-pity. I'm fully aware of how pathetic I look pining after the one woman who hates me more than anyone else.

Its about honesty and communication, and fact that I will love you forever.