The wound isn't healing.

I do not know why this wound won't heal.

I want it to. 

You deserve better. 

Why am I still in love with you?

Truth is, I was never not in love with you. 

Im apologizing again for all the things I did that sent you away. I am trying to be a better man for our children. I hope they see that. I hope they realize this family is all that matters

 I know no one on this earth agrees with me. 

There's something missing and it's you. What magic potion do I need to make this go away, or for you to come back?

Why the hell do I feel just as strongly about loving you now than ever?

Is it because I can't have you?

I can't replace you, even though there are others waiting who say yes I can. 

But none of them are you. 

You are in my soul. It continually calls out for you. This yearning hurts physically. The guilt hurts incessantly. The regret gnaws at me like I'm the poor fat kid who couldn't run fast enough on the zombie shows.

This is dumb of me. I know damn good and well you don't want me.

I would crawl through fire, on my hands and knees if it meant you would be at the other end. There's literally nothing I wouldn't do to have you back at home, back in my bed, back in my arms, back in the place where you are honored and adored.

I have so many blessings in life. My kids, my friends, my job, etc. but without you to share it with, I am nothing.