My Pimp Name Sucks.

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Pimptastico Bling

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Innovations

"CNN recently ranked the top 25 innovations of the past quarter century. What would your top seven innovations be? Do you agree with their top seven, or would you have a different take? Remember, we're talking about innovations of the past twenty-five years ago."

1. Pay At The Pump Gas stations - Anything that prevents me from having to deal with Habib behind the counter and wait in line behind Willie The Wino is wonderful in my opinion.
   


2. Cottonelle Asswipes - Its like a cool drink of water for your sphincter. A dingleberry's worst nightmare. Keeping your backend clean is very important.
   


3. Personal Computers/The Internet - Computers revolutionized the way people get things done, and changed the way businesses ran. Then along came the internet, and revolutionized the way people communicated.
   


4. Cell Phones - Not for the way most people use them, walking down the street talking too loud, but for the technological aspect of it. The cell phone industry infrastructure is continually changing, and due to consumer demand, businesses are keeping up. Four years ago, having a camera phone was a little novelty, now you can take video, and send it to another person in a few key strokes. While that probably doesn't have a lot of practical use beyond playing around, the fact that you can do it at all, amazes me. Its an example of business following what consumers want, and competition bringing it to them at a price set by consumers. Not to mention the fact that if you're being chased by bad guys or break down in a spooky forest with Scooby and the gang, you can call for help, without walking a mile to Cooter's Garage to trade a joint for him fixing your tire.
   


5. ATMs & Debit Cards - Not having to stand in line at the bank or sitting in the drive-through lane is great. You can now pretty much do everything via the machine or even on the internet.
   


6. MTV & MP3 - They both took the music industry and tossed it on its ear. Before MTV, the only time you saw what singers looked like was on the album cover or a rare TV appearance or that poster in your bedroom. Its not just about what you sound like now.. .its what you look like. MTV gave artists another way to reach the audience: visually. That's also what MP3's did, except the way they reach listeners is via the internet. I think the full effect of digital music on the industry has yet to be determined. I think the dynamics are still in flux. MP3s essentially made record companies obsolete. A guy in his basement with a computer, some talent and a net connection could put out a song at virtually no cost, and get it to the fans faster and more efficient than a record company. Who needs to get a deal, record an album, press it, then distribute it? Just record it and promote it, and you're set. As for the copyright issue, that will always be there, I think eventually, the legal downloading will bring the labels enough money that they won't be as worried about file trading. Much like in the 80s when guys used to trade mix tapes.
   


7. Digital Cameras - An entire photoshop in your hand. No more buying film, no more getting it developed. You get a good camera and printer, and within seconds, your photo is in your hand. All for less than $300.
   

The Music Memoirs

Name at least 2 songs with days of the week in the title
Manic Monday (The Bangles) and Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting (Elton John)
Name at least 2 songs about the weekend
Workin' For The Weekend (Loverboy) and Saturday In The Park (Chicago)
Name at least 2 songs with months of the year in the title
Sometimes It Snows In April (Prince) and September Rain (Guns & Roses)

C'mon Gimme something difficult! When will I be able to use my mundane music knowledge for good instead of evil? When, Lord, When? When's gon' be my turn?

George W. Bush Does Lennon

Great Pretenders

Great Pretenders: "If you could freeze the time for less than an hour, since you’d be the only living thing that’s “alive” in that moment:
1. What would you do?
Find the nearest womens locker room. Then I'd steal a shitload of cash from a bank, then go back to the locker room for a while, then I'd put news anchor's hands in funny positions so when they come back on the air, they're smacking the weather guy's ass or something.
2. Why would you do that?
Because I'm demented.
3. Why you wouldn’t be able to do it if everything were normal and the time weren’t frozen?
Because hot lesbians usually don't invite me into their locker rooms, and bank robbery is illegal, and the anchors only slap weather guys asses off the air.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Bruce Almighty.

Elvis Crossed Jabba For The Last Time

The Music Memoirs

Name your three favorite songs from the 90's.These are random songs I liked in the 90s:
1) BBD-"Poison." It was da shit when it came out. Every brutha rockin' a high-top fade doing the running man would be singin' this tune.
2) Jesus Jones "Right Here Right Now." It was popular when I was graduating high school. I thought it was cool because it was about things happening in the world at that moment, and I was feeling the same way. The fall of Communism, the 1st Gulf War, Seinfeld.
3+)Jane's Addiction - "Been Caught Stealing", REM - "Losing My Religion" and RHCP - "Under The Bridge." and of course, "Smells like teen spirit." They all remind me of starting college. They played those damn songs over and over in the dorm. At least the white kids did.
Name your three favorite artists from the 90's. Prince of course, Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg, and umm Rico Suave. If they were any good in the 90s, they'd still be around in this century.
Name your three favorite albums released in the 90's. "The Chronic," Snoop Dogg's first album, and ummm that's about it. I discovered MP3s in 1995, so that ended my CD buying, unless it was something really good.

Name...
1. Two types of music you dislike most?Country & Opera
2. Two types of food you dislike most? High-Fiber foods, and umm that's about it.
3. Two types of TV programming you dislike most (reality, sitcoms, dramas, etc.) ? I can't stand reality TV, and any most news talk shows on Fox News Channel.
4. Two celebrities you dislike most? Only 2? Bill O'Reilly and Oprah. Celine Dion comes in at a close third.

5. Two conversation topics you dislike most (politics, family, employment, etc.) ? Politics, definately. Because you're either a brainwashed follower, or a radical hippie. There's never a way to end the conversation unless one of you changes point of view to the other's. Either that or you're just preaching to the choir. And most people who talk about politics think they know everything, and they're usually full of shit. It makes those of us who do know everything look bad.

Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a Champagne Supernova.

Hit comments and release your inner Katie Couric. I even took that spam blocker thing off for you.

Prince In Atlanta 3/16/06