Tea Vee

1. What are your favorite TV shows? If you can, also tell us the one show you absolutely HATE to miss. I spend my life in front of either a computer monitor or TV, so thinking of these is hard because there are so many. Off the top of my head, favorites include: The Simpsons, King Of The Hill, Scrubs, The Office, My Name Is Earl, West Wing, and the list goes on, but the one show that I watch religiously and I have never missed is The Sopranos.

2. Who handles the remote control in your household? Me Me Me

3. How many remote controls are there in your house? Not counting your childrens' appliances. I can think of 10 off the top of my head.

4. Do you flip through the channels mindlessly, or do you stick with one or two channels? I usually find 2 shows and flip back and forth... but the journey to find those shows usually takes one or two trips up and down the dial.

5. Adam Sandler's latest movie is "Click," about a guy who discovers a remote control that works on life. If you could have such a device, how would you put it to use? I would just use the rewind and pause. I don't want to fast forward... I'm already too impatient and with my 4th grade span-of-attention, in no time flat I'd wind up as a 90-year-old man sitting on the beach with my hot younger girlfriend waiting for her to give me a sponge bath. And I would fast forward to next week's lottery drawing and get the numbers, then rewind and buy a ticket.

Sports suck.

There is nothing I care less about than World Cup Soccer, yet its everywhere.  What the hell?  Maybe it’s because I work with people from other countries.  I know I have an arrogant Ameri-centric view of the world, but I just don’t give a shit about this crap.   At least no one tries to start conversations with me assuming I give a shit.  I get that about football all the time. “Did you see the game yesterday?” asks my sports fan friends.  I reply, “I watched a video of this woman who shoots Jack Daniels out of her private parts yesterday… Is that what you’re talking about?”  That usually says more than, “No, and I really don’t care.”

Musical Firsts:

First CD/Album Purchased: It was an album... I predate CDs. Back in 1982... I think it was Queens Greatest Hits then Ozzy's Diary Of A Madman.
I got the Queen album because I had heard most of the songs on the radio a lot and I liked 'Under Pressure,' and my uncle played bass in a a band at the time, and they played it. Then came 'Diary Of A Madman,' and that was it for me. I was a 9 year old metalhead.

First Concert: My parents took me to a Willie Nelson concert when I was 7 but I don't remember much about it... The first real concert I went to was Men At Work. It was right when they were about to hit it big. They played on a riverboat. My cool uncle (the one who had a band) took me to go see them. He promised that we would meet the lead singer with the googly eyes, but he couldn't get backstage (even though were were on a boat and the band couldn't leave until we did).

First Over 21 Show: I was 21 in 1994, and by that time I had been to quite a few concerts.

First Musical Obsession: Ozzy at age 9, then Prince at age 11. I still like Ozzy, but Prince is still my favorte at age 33.

First Musical Crush: Olivia Newton-John. I was like 8 and we had 'Grease' on beta, and I watched it over and over. What kid wouldn't want the slutty Sandy? Tell me about it, stud.

First Musical/Musical Movie: I always like music-related movies because I was such a music fan at an early age. The previously-mentioned Grease was an early favorite. Then of course there was Purple Rain.

First Stereo: I had a hand-me down stereo from my parents when I was like 7 or 8, then when I was 10, I got a cool all-in-one record-player, cassette deck and radio. It was badass.

First Portable Device/Player: I got a cassette walkman when I was 11, then when I was 12 I had the first Sony portable CD player. It took 6 C batteries that lasted the duration of 2 CDs. Now you can get a $30 portable that runs on AA batteries for hours and hours.

First Musical Format Owned (i.e. LP, Cassette, 8 Track, CD) I first had a little phonograph that played 45s, then I got the hand-me-down stereo that played LPs, then the all-in-one monster. I never had an 8-track, but my parents had one in the car.

First 45/CD Single Purchased: My first 2 45's were when I was 4 years old. They were "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart," by Elton John & KiKi Dee and "Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell. I then got YMCA by the Village People, and it wasn't until 10 years later that I realized what the hell they were talking about. It turns out its not about the place where I took swimming and art lessons!





We're putting together a band, but the band members are going to be historical figures!
The lead singer must be a former U.S. President Bill Clinton. He's probably the only living ex-prez that could pull groupies. Even though I hear Gerald Ford is hung like a horse, he doesn't rock like Clinton.
The lead guitar player must be a famous author Jackie Collins, she'd probably have some wild stories to tell. And I don't know too many other authors.
The bass player must be a scientist Dr. Alfred Nobel.. cuz he's the bomb. Get it?
The drummer must be a famous criminal. Because, drummers are . . well, you know how they are. O.J. Simpson. He and Clinton would probably party like it's 1979.
If you want to add a rhythm guitar player or keyboard player too, choose a retired and/or dead baseball player. Babe Ruth, just because all I know about him is that he was an overweight drunk but still managed to be a star. Kinda like me. except i'm not a drunk... and I'm not a star... and I don't play sports... but I enjoy the candy bar named after him.

What would I call the band? The Infamous Fallopian Tubesteaks.

...til the end of time

Media Hijinx

"Hijinx" is a funny word, as is "Hooliganism."

Anyway, today's is apparently "World Refugee Day." I feel for the millions of people who have been driven from their homeland due to the horrible conditions. But what I find insulting is that the only reason I know today is "World Refugee Day" is because Angelina Jolie is doing an interview with Anderson Cooper on the subject. I applaud her efforts to bring awareness, but I deplore the idea that it takes the star of "Tomb Raider 2" to bring it to light. What did they do before she came along? It's the media's fascination with celebrities whose hearts may be in the right place, but they take themselves too seriously.
The other sad media note today is about Dan Rather. Danny was the face of CBS news for years. He served at the network for 44 years. The guy makes one mistake, or rather, takes the fall for one mistake, and he's tossed out on his ear like yesterday's trash. I think it signals the official end of the network evening news dominance. Who needs to wait until 6:30pm to get a wrap up of the nation's news. Just turn on one of the many cable networks (I have a few suggestions ; ) to get in-depth analysis 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Dan is now reportedly headed to HDNet, a high-def network headed up by billionaire Mark Cuban. This may sound funny, but I equate Dan's exit from network news to Howard Stern's exit from terrestrial radio. Both men were titans in their field, basically re-writing the books on how its done. They inspired a new generation to do what they do. Both got a raw deal, and headed into uncharted territory for a new phase in their careers. Satellite radio is in its infancy, much like High-Defintion television. I wish the best for Danny. Godspeed, Danny Boy, Godspeed.

So ya had a bad day...

I'm having one of those days where I keep singing that stupid song. One of those days where people shoot spears at you from every direction. One of those days where nobody gives a shit about you or what you need, just what you should've done. If I drank I would get drunk. The only good thing is that its friday, and my day is officially half way over.