Feel The Funk Friday

1. What is the most important thing you've ever lost? Money
2. When is the last time you lost your keys? Never... I'm too worried about being stranded somewhere.
3. Have you ever felt like you've lost your mind? Every damn day.
4. Are you likely to ask for directions when lost or to continue to wander? I ask for directions, I'm too impatient to just keep wandering. But I usually try to have the directions and a number to call if I'm going somewhere unfamiliar.
5. Numerology: reliable or just a load of bunk? Load of Bunk.

---

Appetizer
Name something someone has done lately that impressed you. Everything Abby does amazes me.
Soup
Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they? I'm tired all day long so as soon as I lay down, I'm out.
Salad
If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay? Anywhere warm. Even if its here in ATL.
Main Course
When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant? The hillbilly BBQ place near my house.
Dessert
If you had a boat, what would you name it? The HMS Shagalot.

---

1. What kind of computer do you have? (Mac, iBook, Dell, etc.) Homemade... I roll my own, yo.
2. How old is it? Are you happy with it? I continually update it, and I started building my "perfect" machine in 1993, so its technically 12 years old, but has no old pieces in it.
3. How many computers are in your household? Just one.
4. What are your favorite games/timewasters on your computer? THIS WEBSITE!!
5. If money were no object, what kind of computer would you like to have? Not really anything special, just a new updated/faster one every year.

Question of the Day

"You've been asked to make a major change to any sporting game, in order to make it more interesting. You can change anything about it, the rules, the playing surface, the makeup of the teams, whatever you want, but it can only be one change. What game are you changing, and what will the change be?"

Girls beach volleyball... I'd enforce mandatory nudity.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Howard Cosell.

Useless Celebrities!

This paper rocked the top 10 useless celebs. I have to agree with them whole heartedly.

Do you agree? Hit comments and add your own celebs... release your inner Mary Hart.

Hurricane Rita could shit on New Orleans, even without a direct hit. God help those people. I wish they had a better group of people in charge there. Mayor Ray Nagin is like a retarded chimp. There's no water or 911 or electricity... lets let in 480,000 people. Can you say riot? The military guys seem to know what they're doing. The politicians are messing it up.

Paul McCartney live at Philips Arena last night was great. The guy can still rock at 63. I think it was funny how after about 3 minutes into each song, all the old farts in the audience had to sit down... those hip replacements can give out at any second. :) And then when Paul played one of his new songs, people make a beeline to the terlet or the beer stand. He did one of my favorite of his songs:

For No One Your day breaks, your mind aches You find that all the words of kindness linger on When she no longer needs you She wakes up, she makes up She takes her time and doesn’t feel she has to hurry She no longer needs you And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years! You want her, you need her And yet you don’t believe her when she said her love is dead You think she needs you And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years! You stay home, she goes out She says that long ago she knew someone but now he’s gone She doesn’t need him Your day breaks, your mind aches There will be time when all the things she said will fil your head You won’t forget her And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years!

One cool technical note. If you use Firefox, instead of hitting "Add Bookmark" to bookmark this page... hit that little icon in the lower right corner of the browser, and hit add bookmark there. What does that do? It puts the last few posts in a drop-down menu in your Bookmark pull-down menu. What does that mean? You can see if I have a new post without having to wait load up the page. If there is a new post, you can go straight to it. How retarded am I that I just discovered RSS feeds?

Blogthings - Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

I knew I would. I'm a friggin genius. take the test and release your inner George Washgington.

VH1.com : Shows : 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs...Ever : Countdown

Thought this was cool. I can hum most of these, unfortunately

Terra Cotta

Q1: Would you be willing to cut off all communication with everyone in your immediate family for one year if it meant by doing so you'd be saving the lives of 10 innocent people whom you do not know? If your answer is no, what if the scenario changed, and instead of 10 people, your action would save the lives of 100 of 1,000 complete strangers? Sure. My family would understand.

Q2: How often do you wash your hair? Every morning.

Q3: Last night, in a nationally-televised address carried by all four major television networks here in the U.S., President George W. Bush promised a massive federal effort aimed at rebuilding the lives, levees, and communities along Louisiana's, Mississippi's, and Alabama's Gulf Coast. In your opinion, should the city of New Orleans be rebuilt in its current location? Aw Hell yeah. The city isn't all the way gone. Many parts weren't damaged. New Orleans somewhere else wouldn't be New Orleans. It would be Orleansville or something like that. But that won't ever happen. The soul of New Orleans is firmly planted between Lake Ponchatrain and the Mississippi River... and nothing can ever change that.

Q4: What, if anything, is on the outside of your refrigerator? Places to eat Eggs Benedict, and a picture of the dining room set I want.

Appetizer
Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is? Female, easier on the eyes.

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be? Guitar God!

Salad
Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others. Green Pads. They'll clean anything. Especially on those heavy days...

Main Course
What do you strive for in life? Just to make it 'til tomorrow.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself? 15! boom-boom-boom... Is this thing on?

Top Five Questioning Songs (As always I give you the option of using songs with the word Question in the title or songs that ask questions...it's your choice)
a) Would I lie to you?
b) How does it feel? To be on your own? Like a complete unknown? Like a Rolling Stone.
c) Who'll Stop The Rain?
d) Whats New Pussycat?
e) Can't you smell that smell?

From this week's edition of DUH magazine: females are more likely to have bisexual experiences than men. Those of you who do, send me the pics.

Workin' At The Car Wash

• J.Lo's Bodyguards beat up Paul McCartney's one-legged wife, and stole her
  prosthetic leg. Maybe I'm Amazed...
  
• Renee Zellwigger is splitting with that country dude. He thought she was the character from Jerry Maguire. She thought he could distinguish reality from a movie. Maybe she didn't like the taste of Skoal.
  
• I'm posting via email. does it work?
  
• I don't remember french toast sticks. Maybe someone else?

Tomorrow Never Knows

Thinking about the hurricane and all the death and destruction gets me down. Things are starting to turnaround there. Now everyones blaming everyone else. I think everyone in government, from the president,, down to that idiot cunt governor who looked like a deer in the headlights, to the mayor of New Orleans... who just assumed everything would be alright, then started screaming about what the state is entitled to. How sad. Its the whole mentality of entitlement that the city government has cultivated for the last 50 years. Lets just sit around, somebody'll do something for us. Look what it got them. Sure, they were poor and couldn't go anywhere, but there was plenty of warning to get out. They could scrape together $25 to buy a bus ticket. I guess I just have a different mentality.

I think about what I would do in that situation, and the answer is simple... JUST LEAVE AND DON'T COME BACK. I have enough family and friends around the south I'm sure I could crash on somebody's couch.

But it makes me wonder about all my memories being lost if my house got wiped out. Then I realize... those things can be replaced, and no flood can take away my memories. But it just gets you thinking about things you'd miss and things you miss already... like bleu cheese, pizza and orange county... and my moment of zen.

Today's moment of zen happened last week. I hate answering the phone at work, because its always a nut telling me their stupid story idea. So I've got a bad cold, I'm hopped up on dayquil, its 7am and I'd been at work since 3am, and the phones are ringing off the hook. So I pick up the phone. Sure enough, its a crazy bitch telling me about how dfacs took her kid because her infant was sick and how her midwife told her that e-coli in her vagina made her kid sick. So me, in my sickened state has to hear about this woman's putrid twat making giving her kid food poisoning. I wanted to tell her to hose out her snatch and call someone who gives a shit. Fuck it.

1.Do you ever just take a couple of days and go radio silent from the world? Why/why not? My whole life is radio silent. People need to check in to make sure I'm still living.
2. Do you ever make it a point to get outside your everyday life? What do you do? Where do you go? No. I'm busting my ass to make a living, when do I have time to go outside my everyday life?
3. Do you like it when people can't get ahold of you? How does it make you feel? Nah, I like hearing from people. Like old friends...
Bonus Question for Comments: Do you have any current plans to get away? If so, what are they? Maybe for Christmas...

Uggh, its been a long week, and its just half over.

Fat Dynamite.

Britney Spears has a kid now. Preston Michael Spears Federline. or "PMS" as they call him. How sad is it that I'll know how old britneys kid is, because he's the same age as my kid.

Where's Neve Campbell?

Take the quiz: "Which Horror Movie Are You?"

The Craft
You're whole life, you've felt different. You know you're different, and that is why you break away from the norm and don't give a shit what other people think about you. You're you, you're proud, you're a bit... weird might I say? but you're far more interesting than most people will ever percieve. Keep being yourself, whether people like it or not.

The Music Memoirs

1. Name three songs with anything fire related in the title.
a) Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire... Jimi Hendrix.
b) Fire... Bruce Springsteen/The Pointer Sisters
c) C'mon Baby Light My Fire... The Doors
d) Ring Of Fire... Johnny Cash
e) Burn, Baby, Burn... Disco Inferno... Random Disco Group
2. Name three artists with anything fire related in their name.
Earth, Wind & Fire
REO Speedwagon (its an old fire engine)
After The Fire (a random 80s group)
3. Name three albums with anything fire related in the name.
damn, no idea.
St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack album?? :)

---

Would you rather:
1. lapse into epileptic seizures everytime somebody says the word "squid" OR cluck like a chicken everytime somebody says "chicken"?
Epileptic Squids
2. have no bones, but complete muscular control of every part of your body OR four arms?
Four Arms.
3. your nose hair grow down past your chin no matter how much you cut it OR have earlobes twice the normal size?
Big Earlobes, more earrings
4. have people constantly mistake your sex (man v. woman) OR your sexual preference (straight v. gay)?
my sexual preference, I don't care if people think i'm gay, I know what I like!