Lazy Saturday

Happy Weekend, my nubian brothers and sisters,
I've been working non-stop for the last month. and before that it was 6-day weeks. This weekend I'm getting Sunday and Monday off. What a concept. It caps off what has been a shitty week. Right now, I'm physically at work, and that's about it. The Little League college world series is on, and I'm more interested in that than work. This, despite the fact that I like neither baseball nor little league sports. So without further ado, here are those things y'all keep asking for.

1. What is the most unlucky thing that has happened to you all week? I asked a bank for money.

2. Do bad things happen more often to good people or bad people? Bad things happen to bad people. While what makes them bad is always subject to argument, everything happens for a reason. That's not to say bad things don't always happen to good people, just not as often, and we pay more attention to it. And often times we think the people are good and righteous, then it comes out that they did bad stuff to deserve their fate. That's right, I'm looking at you Mr. Vick.

3. How much do you believe that you can improve your outlook in life (from a “fate” perspective) by doing good deeds and correcting past wrongs? Your outlook on life has very little to do with your past deeds. This is a stupid question. I believe you can have the appearance of righting past wrongs, but they're there no matter what. What if OJ cured cancer? What if Hitler brokered peace in the middle east?

4. Take the quiz: What will happen to you in the future? This quiz is as stupid as the last question, I won't even acknowledge it.

5. Do you believe in fate, coincidence, or both? Both. They happen independently of each other. You can change your fate, but coincidences happen without anyone doing anything to cause them. If me and some crackhead whore both bought a pack of Big Red gum at the same Citgo station in lovely Southwest Atlanta at the same time, its a coincidence. If I were to beat her up and steal that aforementioned Big Red pack, it would be her fate not to have that gum. Not that I advocate beating women, or selling crack, or prostitution, or even chewing gum. I'm just saying... you can change fate, not a coincidence.

6. Overall, when “bad things” happen, how often do you believe the victim generally “had it coming?” Most of the time.

Just remember... there are two kinds of people in the world... and you're one of them.

1. Quiet evening at home or Out on the town?: Home, its closer to the bed and TV.
2. Watch a movie or Reading a good book?: Is Hemingway dead?
3. Order a meal or Cooking one yourself?: Order it... I can't make special sauce or french fries... And I don't have a Henny Penny to make KFC Original Recipe Chicken.
4. Going for a walk or Taking a ride in the car?: The car. Walking is soooo last year.

1. You are driving down a lonely road at night when in front of you, you see __________?: Don Rickles

2. You stop the car and get out to __________?: Insult him.

3. In the background you hear __________?: The Godfather theme

4. You return to your car and __________?: Eat the Cannolis.