At The Movies

After watching the Academy Awards some months ago, I decided I would use my knowledge of the internet's backroads to watch some of these honored flicks in an effort to be more cultured. Since then, I've seen some of the movies that got the most buzz. I don't know if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominating committees were watching the same movies, but the ones I've watched... suck.
Here now is my rundown of a few movies that Oscar cheered, but Chas kinda jeered:
Juno: Won for best original screenplay, the only win of its 4 nominations. Slang-slinging teen misfit learns life lessons while pregnant. The writing was pretty good, despite trying to crow-bar in the teenspeak. The acting was well-done, but the story just kinda dragged. The music to me sounded all the same. I think they hired the first granola chick at the local liberal arts college who played guitar to shit out a few songs. At the end I was just thinking, "So what?"
There Will Be Blood: Won two of its eight Oscar nods, one for best actor Daniel Day Lewis, and the other for best cinematography. There will be boredom. By the end of the 6-to-7 hour movie I was going to demand my money back. I couldn't exaclty do that, so I was going to find Paul Thomas Anderson and waste 6-to-7 hours of his life. Maybe ask him Dirk Diggler questions. I should've known better after watching two of his other movies, "Magnolia" and "Punch Drunk Love." They both sucked major ass. Anyway, the plot on this clunker went nowhere: a Sleazy oilman and his son shiester a small town. I was pleading with the movie gods to please make something happen. It just dragged on and on and on. The dialogue was sparse, and not compelling. The characters had moments where they were interesting, but the momentum then fizzled. For example, the soft-spoken preacher guy was pretty boring the whole movie, then all of a sudden he's this charasmatic evangelist who was healing in the church. I was left thinking, 'where the hell did that come from?' And contrary to popular belief, Daniel Day Lewis can't cover up his british accent. He just sounds fake in this and in "Gangs of New York." I don't know why Hollywood swings on this guy's nuts... or the nuts of this film.
Sicko: Nominated for best documentary feature. I like Michael Moore, but this thing was a fill-in-the-blank documentary for him. It gave a little more credence to his critics who say you can slant something to make it look however you want. Plus it was so anti-American it made my stomach turn. Don't phone it in Mike, you're better than that.
Michael Clayton: Tilda Swinton Won Best Supporting Actress for the film, the only winner among its 6 nominations. Good film, however it's not without its flaws. It's way too long, and the dialogue just drags and drags. Too much needless conversation. Overall the movie was engaging, and kept me interested until the end. That Tilda Sinton woman who got the Oscar was barely in it, and I didn't think her performance was anything special... and she kinda freaked me out cuz she's reminds me of those old concentration camp newsreels. George Clooney should've gotten an Oscar for this film.
American Gangster: Nominated for best art direction and Ruby Dee was nominated for best supporting actress Good film, lots of action. I like gangster films, and this fits in well with the classics. Denzel should've been nominated here. You can see the anger that's boiling just below his cool exterior, and when it blows, it's spectacular. It had a happy ending that I thought was a bit cheezy. Russell Crowe CANNOT do a Jersey accent. It's just impossible. He should stick to gladiator movies. The writing was good and the character development was good as well. I agree with the art direction nod, everything in it looked like the 70s and early 80s. The cars, the clothes, etc. They looked like that era, but not too cliche. I don't get the Ruby Dee nomination, she was barely in it, and she plays the same old lady she's been playing since 'Do The Right Thing.'
BONUS: 2006 FILM I SAW LAST NIGHT:
Little Miss Sunshine: Won two of four nominations: Best screenplay and Alan Arkin won best supporting actor. Imagine if you got the most boring professor you had in college, then told him to remake "National Lampoon's Vacation." You would get "Little Miss Sunshine." A hapless dad takes his know-it-all wife, weird kids, and strange family members on a cross-country trip in a silly vehicle. Can't miss, huh? Oh yeah. I chuckled exactly 3 times in this movie. The only bright spot is Alan Arkin's cursing grandpa (the Aunt Edna of the trip, he even dies halfway through like Aunt Edna!). But you get no sense of why he's an old coot. The characters' exposition should weave into the story... but it doesn't. I think by the end of a movie, the characters should have changed in some way. In this movie, they did... and that's the one good thing I can say about it.

Now my usual caveat, this is my opinion I welcome yours, hell, I'm pleading for it! Hit comments and release your inner Peter Travers.