Kay Ef See

I was quite amused by the story of the girls bathing in the KFC sink. Especially the fact that it was on the news before the manager knew about it. I worked at KFC in high school, and I saw many things. Nothing involving half-naked chicks though. There was the time Tommy 2-Short, a diminutive rapping chicken-frier, who got blown in the men's bathroom (while he was supposed to be cleaning it) by a pregnant white trash co-worker. There was the time a co-worker and I were supposed to go get drunk, but he couldn't make it cuz he was in jail for attempted murder. Then there was the time I dared this black dude to throw a ball made of flour and water at the owner's son. He did it. There were some other bizarre shit that went down but I have to plead the fifth on the rest.

I think anyone who has to work at a fast food restaurant deserves a break, somewhat. It's degrading, it's nasty, and it doesn't pay well. If nothing else it inspired me to work hard to get a job that doesn't involve cleaning deep-fat fryers. Don't get me wrong, these broads shouldn't have done something so unsanitary. No customer deserves to have a stranger's ass and vagina slime on their food. At least they're bathing, which is more than can be said about many of the fast food employees I've run into.

What about you? Surely you've had some shitty job that has permanently scarred you. Hit comments and release your inner Dave Thomas.

Abby voted for "Rocka Bama"

November 4th, It's either sadness or euphoria.

I'm often asked about who I'm voting for in the upcoming election. I haven't written about it, since (according to my Dad and Brother) I'm a member of the liberal elite media, I don't want to take sides. I will say this: We live in the greatest country on earth, and we're forced to pick between the lesser of two evils.
One of my favorite performers, Billy Joel, today was asked which of his songs fits each of the candidates. He didn't answer, but played this song which I think sums up the painful yet necessary evil we call presidential politics.

Summer, Highland Falls.
They say that these are not the best of times
But they're the only times I've ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own

Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover's eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It's either sadness or euphoria

And so we'll argue and we'll compromise
And realize that nothing's ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same

Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
Our reason coexists with our insanity
And though we choose between reality and madness
It's either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It's either sadness or euphoria

I'm hungry and it ain't lunchtime yet.

What is your favorite…

Breakfast Food: Eggs, bacon, grits, toast. Why yes, I am from the south and obese, why do you ask?
Pizza: Anything thin crust, and Domino's philly cheese-steak pizza.
Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry's peanut butter cup. Them hippies make a helluva ice cream.
Caffeinated Beverage: Coke. There ain't no other.
Vegetable: Funyuns
Fruit: Skittles
Dessert: Chocolate Cream parfait from KFC. I don't think they sell these anymore, but when I was a kid they were the shit.
Fast Food Chain: It depends on my mood. But I can usually eat Taco Bell any time of the day or night.
Store-bought Beer (or soda if you don’t drink beer): I rarely drink, but the only beer I ever actually enjoyed was Mini-Coronas in Mexico with those lil limes.
Type of Cuisine: Mexican
BONUS: What kind of food are you the best at cooking/baking? I'm good at cooking everything, yes everything. except pancakes. My spaghetti and meatballs are an aphrodisiac. Think they ain't?

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Paula Deen.

A day at the beach

i'm sitting here on the beach, my feet kicked up, music playing, a cool wind is blowing, and I'm watching Tina and Abby collect sea shells. I'm thinking life doesn't get any better.

You've seen them live

Tell us the following:
The best artist you've seen perform live and the worst: (from a musical standpoint) The best is Prince, of course, no one comes close. I've seen him live 21 times over the last 20 years in 6 different cities. Every show was different, and better than the one before. Except the one he did with Tamar in 2006. It was kinda shitty except for the 4 of his own songs he performed. Some performers just walk out, play the same playlist they did in the last 24 shows, say one sentence in between songs, do the obligatory encore, then leave. Prince ain't never had a show like that. Prince plays the music that blows your mind, showing off a skill that has risen to the level of genius. He also talks to the audience throughout the whole show, making you feel like you're a part of something rather than a spectator. Finally, it is damn entertaining (at least to me) to watch him operate as a band leader. Beyond just playing guitar, keyboard, and singing, he's calling out orders to the band, arranging and re-arranging songs on the fly. That's why he has top notch musicians who can handle anything a madman like him throws at them. If anyone walks out of a Prince concert without, at the very least, bobbing their head or humming a tune, then they need to have their meds readjusted.
The worst concert is pretty hard to nail down. I've been to some shitty shows. The very worst concert I've ever attended was Music Midtown in Atlanta. First of all there was no parking so I had to walk for miles and miles to get there. It was a 2-day concert, and I only wanted a 1-day ticket,but they "sold out" of the single-day tickets. Then it was hot and sooo dusty. I got to see some shitty groups/performers like Freddy Jackson, and Steppenwolf. The only good guys were Night Ranger and Loverboy, but they were like 20 years out of their prime. So they sucked. I never went back and they quit holding them. Good riddance.
The concert with the worst audience: Richie P and I went to some rap concerts in New Orleans back in the early 1990s. We were the only white guys there. It was before rap was mainstream and we got some weird looks. Then somebody stole my badass Ice Cube cap. What was I gonna do? Cry like a bitch? Go tell the security guy? "Scuse me officer, have you seen a black guy with a black baseball cap?"
The most expensive concert and the least expensive: The most expensive concert was in 2002. Gabino and I spent a week in Minneapolis watching 7 nights of Prince concerts. The tickets weren't that expensive, but I had to buy 7 of them and hotel and airfare. But it was worth every fucking penny. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I've been to tons of free concerts, many of them I got through connections at work.

Werd Association

Technology: She blinded me with science - welcome to the 80s.
Exercise: Let's get physical Olivia never looked so good
Punch: I got nothing.
Temperature: Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.
Fire: Let me stand next to your fire Jimi still rocks.
Clothes: Fashion Bowie's still weird.
Doll: I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world
Sweet: Sweet Emotion I love the ending of this video!
Makeup: Amy Winehouse's scary mug. What a nutjob.
Drunk: Why don't we get drunk and screw Jimmy still rocks.

What about you? Did my picks suck? Hit comments and release your inner Thomas Dolby.

The Naughty Librarian

Name seven cool movie gadgets you’d like to own:

Ziggy from Quantum Leap: A little pda that can tell you the future.

Communicator Badge from Star Trek: Just tap your chest and talk, better than bluetooth!

Darth Vader's innards from Star Wars: Anakin was basically a barbequed torso, then they made him into this 7 foot asthmatic menace.

The Holodeck from Star Trek: I'd never leave the house if I had one of those!

Rosie the Robot maid from The Jetsons: Actually, I just want a maid. :)
Listen: Name one cover of a song that you think is better than the original. There are many, but the first one that comes to mind is "Walk This Way." Aerosmith's original is pretty good, but Run-DMC's is legendary.
Watch: What was your favorite show in the 90s? The Sopranos, without a doubt.
Read: Name the ideal setting for reading a book (at the park, in bed with candles, etc.). Sitting on the throne.


Top 5 "Goodbye" songs

Boyz II Men - "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" 90's goodness. A nod to the 1970's flick "Cooley High."

"Excuse me, but is this really goodbye?" Prince outtake goodness.

"Time of your life (Good Riddance)" Green Day. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

"Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" Cheezy 60's goodness.

"I will always love you" - Dolly's version not that crackhead Whitney's!

Abby's New Haircut

She took some scissors to her hair, which inspired the new 'do.

Take a look at this list of famous musical vegetarians and vegans. List your favorite song by each person.
Paul McCartney (it looks like all of the Beatles were vegetarians, actually). To Live And Let Die. Hearing it live is phenomenal. John was always the protester of the group, then after he died Paul didn't exactly take up the anti-war vibe. He became vegan. Maybe he can grow a set using the compost he's no doubt making in the backyard of his mansion.
Johnny Marr and Morrissey (pick a Smiths song) Umm none. I never listen to these dorks.
Fiona Apple - Sleep To Dream I loved this song from the first time I heard it and saw the video. It takes me back to 1995. No surprise this granola chick is a vegan.
Prince - Too many. But being a vegan has prompted him to write some whack songs.
Meat Loaf (oh, the irony!) "I would do anything for an organic vegan brownie."
Carrie Underwood No fucking idea.
Chris Martin (pick a Coldplay song) - Mexican Clocks Except for this tune, this band sucks. Who the hell cares if you're depressed. Snap out of it, pussies.

I'm a meat-atarian. Man is a hunter and gatherer... we should eat meat... it's in our DNA... contrary to Peta's view that man's insides aren't meant for meat.
What do you think? Hit 'comments' and release your inner Ted Nugent.

Hey, ya know what?

I hate Dane Cook and The Big Lebowski. Neither are funny.
There, I said it.

Badass JamZ

Hey Teens...
I was listening to the Hits channel on Sirius, and it was horrible. I've always said the day I got old was the day I complained about today's popular music and saying, "Back in my day..."

Guess what. I'm old.

I was mildly amused the "I kissed a girl and I liked it" song... then I realized I was playing into this crappy pop singer's hands. She never kissed a girl... but she did know that guys are into the thought of chicks kissing. Guilty as charged... but don't pander to me.

Anyway, for some decent music, hit play on the tape to the right and hear some badass JamZ. Some of the tunes suck, I put them in to make the other ones look that much better. Which ones do you think are the sucky ones? I used to have a bunch of these tunes on "mix CDs" which are commonplace now, but back in my day, we had mixtapes, then I came up with mix CDs. Yes me. I'm taking credit for it. I was doing it before you or the nerdy kid you knew in 1995. Everyone who listened to them said "this rocks." The CDs are all gone now, people either took them or I gave them away. I believe music should be shared. So hit play... then hit comments and release your inner Casey Kasem.

Bigfoot my foot!

The Bigfoot thing was a hoax. Stevie Wonder could see it was a just a gorilla suit.

Word Association

We haven't done a music word association in awhile:
Ending: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Long: The Long and Winding Road
School: School's out for... ever.
Teen: Teenage Wasteland
Crazy: Crazy... for thinking that my love could hold you
Search: Hold on, I'm still searching for a song with search in it.
Baby: Hit me baby one more time.
Shoes: These boots were made for walkin...
Mellow: I wanna get lost in the mellow mellow of my mind.
Window: Put a candle in the window.

OK teens, it's your turn, hit comments and release your inner John Fogerty.

The best things in life

Number 081608: Mrs. Freshley's Doughnut Sticks.  Maybe it's because I'm starving, but these fucking things rock.

It smells like Bigfoot's dick!

What the hell is this? Only in Georgia would two rednecks get together, dress one of them up as a gorilla, get into a freezer, and say they found Bigfoot. Keep in mind this is the same state that produced something called "Hogzilla" and his much nastier sister "Cynthia McKinney." Do these guys really believe that there is a race of half-human, half-apes hiding in North Georgia? Do they even have regular apes in Georgia?
Bring the pain...
1. Do you prefer a hotter climate or a colder climate?
Hotter is better, the cold hurts.
2. If you could live anywhere on the planet and money wasn’t an object, which area would you choose? Somewhere in the South, maybe near a beach.
3. Do you prefer walking, riding a bike, driving or flying when you are going somewhere? Driving, or flying if I could afford it.
4. Take the quiz: What planet do you come from?
What Planet Are You From?
5. What is the biggest change you have made to help the environment?
I put one out of every 6 cans in the recycle bin. and my car is fuel-efficient.
6. If scientists discovered signs of life on another planet, would you worry about your safety if that material was brought to Earth for study? Nope. There should be no boundaries for ethical study. I don't think you should clone humans, but if a wookiee was discovered I'd say let's find out all we can about him.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Boba Fett.

Reflection

Two sevens together
Like time, indefinite
Trying to catch the glass
befor it falls
Without a frown
Can you turn up the stereo?
I wanna play you this old song about love
Can I do that?

Did we remember to water the plants today?
I forgot to look up at the moon because
I was too busy
Looking at you babe

Still it's nice to know
That when bodies wear out
We can get another
What does that 1 thing have 2 do with the other 1?
I don't know
I was just thinking about my mother

Turn the stereo back down
Ain't nothing worse than an old worn out love song
Tell me do you like my hair this way
Remember all the way back in the day
When we would compare who's afro was the roundest

Mirrored tiles above the bed
Fishing nets and posters all over the wall
Oh yes, sometimes
Sometimes I just wanna go sit out on the stoop
And uh... play my guitar
Just watch all... all the cars go by...

I was looking through some old old emails that I saved and I thought it was funny how, in an instant, you can be shot back 5 years like a slingshot. All the emotions come welling back up. Roads not taken, choices not made, songs not played. Eh. Ain't nothin worse than an old worn out love song.

I'm running for president

Six On Sunday

1. When is the last time you actually filled your car’s car tank completely?
I do it all the time.  If I find a good price, I have to take advantage of it.
2. What’s the most you’ve paid for a gallon of gas so far?
$4.03, but that was in the city in a bad neighborhood, out in the 'burb where I live its cheaper.  I haven't paid over $4 many times.  ATL's under the national average, but not much.
3. Has the high gas prices affected how much you travel at all?
Indirectly, because with rising airline prices I can't afford 3 plane tickets... but via car not really.  It's worth the extra money to get away for a few days, even though I don't do it as much as I should.
4. Take the quiz: What does the road trip of your life say about you?

The Road Trip of Your Life

You see life as precious and special. Heritage and family are very important to you. You live life at a fairly leisurely pace. You take time to enjoy the sweeter parts of life, even when you're busy. You don't like a lot of risk or randomness in your life. You prefer to stick with what's known, even if it's a bit boring. You are able to find a fairly healthy balance between work and play. You work when you need to, but you never let yourself burn out. In another life, you could have been a great artist. You trust your creative instincts enough to let them lead you.

The Road Trip Test

5. Which single statement was the most accurate about you?
All of them, more or less.

6. If your best friend called you up and wanted to take a week-long road trip, would you be able to afford it?
I could make it work.  I may have to rely on bologna sammiches and Ramen n00dles, but I could do it. 
What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Clark Griswald.

Milestones

Abby had her first haircut recently.

She also went to her first Braves game. She obviously had more fun eating ball park food and playing around. Turner Field has so much stuff for kids to do. It was a fun night.

Tina and Abby went out of town this week, so I'm home all alone. So its just me, Prince and Papa John. It's a sausage fest in here... shit, wait... no not that kind dammit!