In A Large Room With No Light

Lana drew a picture in school 2day
One that made her mother cry
A picture of a woman with a drink in her hand
Standing by a child with no eyes
Washington reaction based upon revenge
Babies blown to kingdom come

Damn the logic
Cartoon characters look better when they're on the run
Danny dropped the dime on his girlfriend
He said he didn't wanna go to jail alone
The seed lives in the same mind
With the thought that says we all should be stoned
And people lookin' for angels in the sky

Whenever they're broken-hearted
Love is grown, seeds are sown
A fire don't burn unless it's started
Did you ever feel that life was like lookin' 4 a penny
In a large room with no light?
A sophisticated man reduced to company in no-win situations
That aren't right
Everytime you wake up there's a little motherfucker
Talkin' big stuff in your face (Are you happy?)
You only get the kind of people that open their mouth
just to swap feet
Welcome to the rat race
Did you ever feel that life was like lookin' for a penny
In a large room with no light?
A sophisticated man reduced to company in no-win situations
That aren't right
Oh, if you could just pass your history class
Maybe life would be alright
Until then you'll be lookin' 4 a penny
In a large room with no light

Kenny Powers

The best line ever from Kenny Powers:
“Listen here you beautiful bitch. I am about to fuck you up with some truth.”

I'm gonna miss that fuckin show.

3 the hard way

Another dumb thing i put on my facebook thingie. If you're on there, drop me a line.

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Chas
2. Charles
3. Daddy (only by Abby!)

THREE INTERESTING PLACES I'VE WORKED IN MY LIFE
1. CNN
2. WGCL
3. Golden Corral

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Atlanta
2. New Orleans
3. Rio Grande Valley, TX

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. Simpsons
2. The Office
3. Eastbound & Down (my new fave)

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
1. Mexico
2. Memphis
3. Minneapolis (I was feeling the M's)

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. New York
2. L.A.
3. D.C.

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Pizza
2. Hamburger
3. Chick Fil-A

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. The new Baby
2. My April Stay-cation
3. When the world realizes my genius

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Lil Pepper (Our current and last pet)
2. I'm not a dog person
3. I'm not a cat person

THREE FRIENDS WHO WILL REPLY
1. Barack Obama
2. Stephen Tobolowski
3. Willie Nelson

THREE FAVORITE BANDS Or ARTISTS
1. Prince (of course)
2. The Beatles
3. Billy Joel

THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH
1. Braves
2. Thrashers
3. Hawks

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. Coke
2. Coke Zero
3. Orange Juice

The Joker isn't a rap fan

Hey Teens

I haven't posted anything in a while. I went on vacation to Orlando. It was nice, but tiring and expensive. Then we came back and it snowed in Atlanta. What the hell is that about? I'm sick of winter. Bring on the Hotlanta I know and am scorched in.

I also discovered facebook, and found I know more people than I had previously thought. I do it at work and on my phone. So if I'm not posting here, I'm over there.
And I also like failblog.org and its affilated websites. Good comedy over there.
Other than that I haunt the usual suspects, ajc.com, drudge, cnn, etc.

So if I'm not here, by all means, go over there and be my friend.

Am I an idiot for being on a social networking site?
Hit comments and release your inner Kenny Loggins.

That first step is a doozie!

Happy Groundhog Day!


Groundhog Day is one of those movies I can watch over and over and still enjoy. What did you think? Hit comments and release your inner Ned Ryerson.

Have you seen this suspect?

Karma is so gonna kick my ass for laughing at this.

I'm copper

You Are Copper

You are provocative and challenging. You help people realize who they really are. You live a very balanced life. You always take time for love and art. You are both a powerful and generous person. You always have time to give back. People find you to be incredibly ethical and loyal.

What Metal Are You?

I thought I'd be Motley Crue, but the question wasn't "What Hair Metal Band are you?"
Oh well. Hey, hit comments and let me know what metal you are, and release your inner Tommy Lee.

Social Networking

1. What social networking sites do you use? (Myspace, Facebook, etc.) None, just this page you're looking at. I think if I was a more sociable person, I'd be on a social networking site. So I'm just making my own social network. Hit comments and say something, and I'll respond. How's that for social?
2. What do you use them for? This site is for nothing more than making you numbskulls laugh, and giving me something to play with for literally minutes a day. :)
3. Do you have any applications on your profile? What's your opinion of them? There's a thingie where you can listen to music, and another thingie where you can watch my youtube videos. They're on the right side of the screen, since I don't have a "profile."
4. What's one thing you would change about social networking sites? More nudity.

I'm going to give you a list of drinks and you give me a song/album/artist that fits that particular drink:
Espresso: "It's the end of the world as we know it" since I think you have to be hopped up on caffeine to sing at that speed.
Wine: "Spill The Wine" It's on the Boogie Nights soundtrack. The song's pretty cool.
Beer: License To Ill. Lots of beer-induced frat-boy rap. They quickly changed their tune.
Milk: John Lennon had an album called Milk and Honey
Water: "Don't go chasin' Waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to." It was the first water song that came to mind.
Tea: Ming Tea insert Austin Powers imitation here
Cappuccino: The Godfather Theme. It's Italian like the drink.
Margarita: No brainer here, "Margaritaville"

Batman and The Joker

The password is what?

A laugh to end your week:


I added some more funk to the mix. If you listening to it and you ain't groovin' in yo seat... something's wrong with yo ass. I changed some stuff around a bit too. What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Jerome Benton.

The Moment.

"Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

President Barack Obama
Washington, DC
12:30pm, January 20, 2009

70s Funk

I'm feeling in a 70s funk mood today, so I put some tracks in the mix for yall. Where's that mixtape thingie that used to be to the right? Apparently the company's business model of streaming other people's music for free didn't hold up in these tough economic times. So now there's a new jukebox at the bottom of the page. To hear the funk, scroll down, way down. These aren't you average 70s funk tunes you hear on commercials, etc. These are rare tracks teeming with funk.
Do you have any additions for the list? What are your funky favorites? Hit comments and release your inner Bootsy Collins.

So... freakin... cold

This morning as I left my house, it was a scorching 18 degrees, by the time I got to work, it was 16. That's just re-gotdam-diculous. I know you northerners say, "Try dealing with cold and snow for months!" To which I reply, "Move." That's why I live in the south, cuz it ain't that cold. Even the one day a year when it does snow, it's not that cold. Oh well, you know what they say about the weather, everyone bitches about it, but no one ever does anything about it.
How cold is it where you live? Hit comments and release your inner Jack Frost.

Did yall see the news yesterday about the plane that landed in the Hudson River? That pilot must have balls of steel to not only pull off a water landing but also have the skills to do it without any casualties. They say you should treat every day as a blessing, I hope the people on that plane who are making the tv news show rounds do just that.

Santa tells Abby a joke

"So I tell Mrs. Claus, 'That ain't no Yule log!'"

Kay Ef See

I was quite amused by the story of the girls bathing in the KFC sink. Especially the fact that it was on the news before the manager knew about it. I worked at KFC in high school, and I saw many things. Nothing involving half-naked chicks though. There was the time Tommy 2-Short, a diminutive rapping chicken-frier, who got blown in the men's bathroom (while he was supposed to be cleaning it) by a pregnant white trash co-worker. There was the time a co-worker and I were supposed to go get drunk, but he couldn't make it cuz he was in jail for attempted murder. Then there was the time I dared this black dude to throw a ball made of flour and water at the owner's son. He did it. There were some other bizarre shit that went down but I have to plead the fifth on the rest.

I think anyone who has to work at a fast food restaurant deserves a break, somewhat. It's degrading, it's nasty, and it doesn't pay well. If nothing else it inspired me to work hard to get a job that doesn't involve cleaning deep-fat fryers. Don't get me wrong, these broads shouldn't have done something so unsanitary. No customer deserves to have a stranger's ass and vagina slime on their food. At least they're bathing, which is more than can be said about many of the fast food employees I've run into.

What about you? Surely you've had some shitty job that has permanently scarred you. Hit comments and release your inner Dave Thomas.

Abby voted for "Rocka Bama"

November 4th, It's either sadness or euphoria.

I'm often asked about who I'm voting for in the upcoming election. I haven't written about it, since (according to my Dad and Brother) I'm a member of the liberal elite media, I don't want to take sides. I will say this: We live in the greatest country on earth, and we're forced to pick between the lesser of two evils.
One of my favorite performers, Billy Joel, today was asked which of his songs fits each of the candidates. He didn't answer, but played this song which I think sums up the painful yet necessary evil we call presidential politics.

Summer, Highland Falls.
They say that these are not the best of times
But they're the only times I've ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own

Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover's eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It's either sadness or euphoria

And so we'll argue and we'll compromise
And realize that nothing's ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same

Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
Our reason coexists with our insanity
And though we choose between reality and madness
It's either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It's either sadness or euphoria

I'm hungry and it ain't lunchtime yet.

What is your favorite…

Breakfast Food: Eggs, bacon, grits, toast. Why yes, I am from the south and obese, why do you ask?
Pizza: Anything thin crust, and Domino's philly cheese-steak pizza.
Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry's peanut butter cup. Them hippies make a helluva ice cream.
Caffeinated Beverage: Coke. There ain't no other.
Vegetable: Funyuns
Fruit: Skittles
Dessert: Chocolate Cream parfait from KFC. I don't think they sell these anymore, but when I was a kid they were the shit.
Fast Food Chain: It depends on my mood. But I can usually eat Taco Bell any time of the day or night.
Store-bought Beer (or soda if you don’t drink beer): I rarely drink, but the only beer I ever actually enjoyed was Mini-Coronas in Mexico with those lil limes.
Type of Cuisine: Mexican
BONUS: What kind of food are you the best at cooking/baking? I'm good at cooking everything, yes everything. except pancakes. My spaghetti and meatballs are an aphrodisiac. Think they ain't?

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Paula Deen.

A day at the beach

i'm sitting here on the beach, my feet kicked up, music playing, a cool wind is blowing, and I'm watching Tina and Abby collect sea shells. I'm thinking life doesn't get any better.