Aging Celebs

Hey Teens!
Its been a while since I've posted, because I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
My moment of Zen today was walking in the Green Room, and Cybill Shepherd telling me, "I'm about to go on live TV, and I've got camel toe."
I brought her to the station to do an interview on Irritable Bowel Syndrome. She's shilling some new drug for it.
My experience with this aging model, way past her prime:
She's scheduled to come in for 10:30... She shows up at 10 so they can put on her make-up and get past "security" (the receptionist). So when I walk in at 10:05, and everyone's looking at me saying, "YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S IN THE GREEN ROOM, WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?" I sigh, "Its gonna be one of those days."
I go in to say hi, and she orders me to come back at 10:30. Great.
When I return, she looks at me and says, "I'm about to go on TV, and I've got camel toe." Time stood still as I pondered that statement. Her hangers-on, looking equally mortified, said nothing. Should I offer to pull it out? Should I leave? Should I look? I said, "Um, Let me know when you're ready."
We go to the studio. Then she starts in on the lighting. "There's a shadow on my nose," "Can you move that light? (the one thats bolted to the ceiling)". I give the hangers-on the stink-eye. They understand and tell her, "You look faaaaabulous."
Then she starts on the camera shots. "Shoot me from the T's up" Thats Cybill-speak for Tits and above. Apparently she doesn't want anyone to see that she's let herself go. I have no room to talk, but then again, I'm not on the TV or trying to pass myself off as a model. So we shoot her tight. She wants it tighter. The camera guy looks at me and says "She's insane." I turn and give her people the stink-eye again. They placate her again.
She does her spiel about the fucking shit medicine. Five minutes later she's done. All that agita for five fucking minutes. Walking out, I ask her to autograph the CD that her PR people sent me. She then gets pissed at me for not having a copy out on the set for her to promote. This bitch recorded the damn thing, you'd think she could remember it. Just Maybe? Hello?
While walking out of the studio, I mention to her that we share the same birthday. She goes off on a rant about her being on the cusp of pisces. I'm thinking that a perfect birthday gift would be to her leave really fast.
She did. I returned to the newsroom, where I got teased for bringing such a freak to the station.
Now in contrast, I met sexy TV letter-turner Vanna White on Sunday. She was kind, polite, and a class act. She answered every question with a smile, she spoke in soundbites, she held up the paper for the white balance, she even put on her own microphone. We seemed very genuine. Coincidentally, she and I share a birthday as well. How random is it that I meet two celebs that have the same birthday as me, during the week of my birthday?
In other news, I turn to The Drudge Report for news, but he's pissed me off. Earlier this week, he ran a story about how the Oscar people are worried because Chris Rock made some comments about the Oscars. Drudge claims that the Oscar people are re-thinking their decision to have Chris Rock host the snoozefest. Surely they heard his act and surely they know what type of comedian he is. If Matt Drudge think that the producers of the Oscars just randomly picked a comedian to host, he's on crack. The awards shows are pompous and useless, no straight black men watch the oscars, and people giving awards for a subjective thing like art is ludicrous. These are true. Chris Rock said those things in a stand up act. Its entertainment. Does Drudge really thing Chris is doing phone surveys to the African-American community due to his hatred of the awards shows?

Anywayz, Tuesday Is Choose Day, Would you rather:

• eat nothing but food from the ocean for the rest of your life OR nothing but food from cans for the rest of your life? Food from the sea easily. I'm all about the seafood. Tonight I ate at the best seafood restaurant in the ATL, Six Feet Under. Fried Erstaz, Fried Scrimpz and a piece of cod. It was the best thing outside of New Orleans.
  
• x-ray vision OR super hearing? X-Ray Vision. Every day would be a trip to the nude beach.
  
• one wish granted today OR three wishes granted ten years from now? What if I wished for two more wishes with my one with today? I would wait for the 10 years, cuz that would give me time to think about three really cool wishes.
  
• have a threesome with dr. ruth and brad pitt OR jennifer garner and maury povich? Jennifer Garner. Maury ain't gotten wood since he was on A Current Affair, so he wouldn't be in the way.

What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Maddie Hayes.