Happy Thanksgiving

1. What do you most look forward to about Thanksgiving week?
This year I have to work, so really not much, maybe less traffic. But I have much to be thankful for in general.
2. How many people do you plan to have around the Thanksgiving dinner table this year?
Just the 4 Welchs.
3. What Thanksgiving food do you most look forward to?
Dressing and Green Bean Casserole.
4. Which Thanksgiving food do you avoid?
Pumpkin Pie, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes. I'll eat the marshmallows, though.
5. Take the quiz: What Fall Spice Are You?

You Are Nutmeg

You are a harmonious and peaceful person. You are surprisingly adaptable and flexible. You are a typical girl or guy next door, but you also have a undying thirst for the exotic. You dream of tropical places, and you have a true appreciation for far away flavors. You are easygoing enough to enjoy a full day on the beach. "Island time" sounds like the perfect time for you.

What Fall Spice Are You?

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

6. What aroma most reminds you of fall?
Thanksgiving dinner being cooked.

I'm not feeling creative today. Sorry. You can get a refund at the ticket office.

Annoying Newsroom Quote Of The Day

"I don't have a TV at home, but..."

Really? REALLY? You work in TV but don't have a TV? I guess that's like a gay gynecologist.

Annoying Newsroom Quote of the Day

"Hello? Hello? HELLO? HELLAW? YEAH, SOME KEEDZ MUST BE CALLIN ME ON YO PHONE! hello?"
Newsroom cleaning guy yelling into his phone 5 feet from where the sports guy is anchoring a show.

The Little Pumpkin

Annoying Newsroom Quote Of The Day

"I have some gluten-free pad thai if anyone's interested."

Sting

If I could break down these walls and shout my name at heaven's gate,
I'd take these hands and I'd destroy the dark machineries of fate.

Service with a sneer

1. You order takeout from a favorite restaurant. You’re at the counter paying for your dinner by credit card and the host hands you the charge slip that includes a blank for a tip. Do you leave one for takeout?
No way. All they did was put the food in a container. You didn't dirty up a table or require any service. That's what tips are for, to tell the server they went above and beyond their duties. Taking money for food is not above and beyond their duties. If they delivered or something it would be different.

2. You’re having dinner at a restaurant you’ve never visited before and you receive poor service, a wrong item on your plate and you have an inattentive waiter. Do you leave a tip anyway, or would you leave nothing?
No way. Shitty service gets you a shitty tip. I worked in food service for many years, and I know customers can be a pain in the ass, I know how it is to work for shitty wages, but if you take a job that pays half-of-minimum wage, you should damn well bust your ass to get at least the $4-$5 an hour to make up the difference. If some self-righteous waiter... 'scuse me, server thinks he deserves a tip just for bringing my food from point A to point B without tripping, falling, or spitting in my food, fuck him. Do your job well and you'll be rewarded.

3. You’re under the weather and you decide to make a doctor’s appointment: how likely are you to search the web for your symptoms and walk in with your own diagnosis already in hand (or in mind)?
Of course! You're paying him a lot of money to make you better, and if you think you have something, tell him why. At the very least it'll force him to tell you why you don't have it. Within reason. Don't tell the doc you think you have a hernia just to get your balls juggled. That's a mistake I won't make again.

4. You see a drug ad on television promoting a “miracle cure” for a condition you know you have. How likely are you to contact your doctor and ask about that specific medication? Very likely. Once I wrote a long story at work about a new medical breakthrough technique that gives sinus relief to everyone who underwent the procedure. I asked my Asian ENT doc about it. The bitch never heard of it. How is it that a specialist in the field didn't know about something that had been around long enough that it was being put into practice and I was writing about it? I dunno. I never went back.

5. A cell phone company sells you a phone that fails to do something you feel is basic. They advertise a money-back guarantee, but the fine print says there’s a $35 “restocking fee” for returning the phone. How much are you likely to fight that charge because of the phone’s inability to do what you need it to do?
If you bitch, moan, and complain enough they'll either waive the fee or give the service to you for free.

6. You decide to buy a new computer, and there are two computer stores in town: one has low prices and an almost-absent sales floor staff, and the other has higher prices but very friendly, helpful staffers. You decide to get information from the well-informed staff at the more expensive store. If you knew you could save 25% or so by going to the cheaper store, how likely would you be to buy from the more expensive store that gives you better service?
Easy answer, go to the fancy place, get your questions answered, then go to the cheap place and buy the cheaper product. Or better yet, call the fancy place, ask the questions, then drive to the cheapy place. Even better, go online, get the answers from knowledgeable people rather than the douchebags that work at electronics stores and buy it online, and save 35%. What I do, is get my info online, and build the computer myself, save 50% That's just me.

What about you? Surely you've had some awful customer service experiences. Hit the comments and release your inner Dwight Schrute.

New Orleans

We're back from our trip to New Orleans. It was fun, we caught up with so many family and friends that we haven't seen in a while. It was also a time to see the changes in the city in which I grew up. Much of it has changed, but much has stayed the same. Of course I wouldn't expect the city to stop changing just because I moved away 18 years ago. I guess you're always jarred by things changing. My view of the city also changed. The trip was jam-packed with things to do. We enjoyed much good food, including po-boys, crawfish pies, and breaking with tradition, BBQ. Much is said about New Orleans food, and many of the locals will tell you just because the restaurant is pretty shabby the food will still be good. I believe that, sometimes. Here's why: We drove 8+ hours to NO, and the last thing I wanna do is sit in some shithole of a restaurant because they make good sandwiches. For Mr. Pete's sake, 70s paneling on the walls and taped up pictures of Saints players ain't "flair," its crap. It's emblematic of the entire city. Driving up and down the roads, I see the same old rotting buildings and houses I once knew, right next to new buildings. Why should they change? That's the way its always been, and that's the way it'll always be. At City Park (where the above pic was taken), we brought the kids to "Storyland," which is an old ass mother goose-themed kiddie area. Right next to it, was a beautiful "Great Lawn" with more new construction next to that. I used to be amused by that shit and say, "Only in New Orleans..." but I'm tired of that. After Katrina, A Super Bowl, and the BP disaster, it's time to set the bar a bit higher. Don't get me wrong, I love the city and I'm already planning my next trip there. Or maybe I'm the one that needs to change.

21 Nights

We ran a story tonight about a CNN floor manager that just went to his 100th Aerosmith concert, and the network set up a meet 'n greet with the band. Here's the story:


That got me to thinking about who I'd like to meet. The first name that comes to mind would be Prince. I'm not sure I want to meet him. I've heard good and bad things, and there's the old saying, "Never meet your heroes because they'll always disappoint you." That being said, I would have to be an idiot to pass up meeting him. Shit, I'd be an idiot to pass up meeting any rock star. Maybe I'll tell CNN I'm going to my 100th Prince concert, maybe they'll set me up a meet 'n' greet. Yeah right. I started thinking about how many more concerts I'd have to see to reach 100. It's 78. That sounds like a challenge, and one funky ass road trip. :) Here's the list so far:

1. The Summit, Houston, November 27, 1988, Lovesexy Tour
2. The Alamodome, San Antonio, August 8, 1996, Jam Of The Year Tour
3. Frank Irwin Center, Austin, November 2, 1997, Jam Of The Year Tour
4. The Tabernacle Atlanta, November 22, 2000, Hit & Run Tour
5. Cricket Arena, Charlotte, November 26, 2008, Hit & Run Tour
6. Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta, April 14, 2001, Hit & Run Tour
7. Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta, April 15, 2001, Hit & Run Tour
8. Symphony Hall, Atlanta, April 3, 2002, One Nite Alone Tour
9. Symphony Hall, Atlanta, April 4, 2002, One Nite Alone Tour
9.5 Club 1120 (Aftershow), Atlanta, April 4, 2002, One Nite Alone Tour
10. Paisley Park, June 21, 2002, Xenophobia
11. Paisley Park, June 22, 2002, Xenophobia
12. Paisley Park, June 23, 2002, Xenophobia
13. Paisley Park, June 24, 2002, Xenophobia
14. Paisley Park, June 25, 2002, Xenophobia
15. Paisley Park, June 26, 2002, Xenophobia
16. Paisley Park, June 27, 2002, Xenophobia
17. Veterans Coliseum, April 27, 2004, Musicology Tour
18. Philips Arena, Atlanta, April 30, 2004, Musicology Tour
19. Philips Arena, Atlanta, August 9, 2004, Musicology Tour
20. Philips Arena, Atlanta, August 10, 2004 Musicology Tour
21. The Tabernacle (Tamar Show), March 15, 2006, Tamar Tour

Eye Que

So Abby took an IQ test, after being moved out of Kindergarten into first grade. It seems she's smarter than many of our U.S. presidents. Including George W. Bush, which isn't saying much. I couldn't get an exact number on the presidents, the best I got was ranges, and she's above most of their ranges. That's good for my 5 year old, but bad for the country. I'm not only proud of her, I'm simply amazed.

Hold On Tight

Accroche-toi à ton rêve
Accroche-toi à ton rêve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sens ton cœur se briser
Accroche-toi à ton rêve.

Florida Vacation July 2010

My little sunflowers

Oily Residue

So the oil spill is still spewing, despite a cap on it. What the hell? After day 50 the president decides he should follow the media's suggestion and get mad. Day 50. Really? He needs to get the 50 greatest environmental clean up engineers and sit them in a room... then put the 50 greatest underwater oil well dudes in another room. He walks in and tells them, "You have 7 days to figure out a way to stop the gusher and clean up the mess. If not, expect to be audited every year until you're 65. Expect to be called for jury duty on the first day of summer every year. Expect your ATM fees to be double what they should be. Expect the cable guy to come sometime between 6:30am and 9:30pm. Expect to be put on a no-fly list. Expect your computer to only connect to the internet via dial-up. Expect the garbage man to drive past your home. And finally, expect that hot chick that won't talk to you at the gym to seduce your wife. So good luck, see ya in a week."

Since I'm in an advice-giving mood, I have some suggestions for BP's horrendous PR department. I understand BP is the easy whipping boy. Their carelessness criminal neglect caused this crap, they deserve the blame. And I'm sure they want an end to it fast, since they're losing money and have a PR nightmare on their hands. Here's how to fix it: Stop running commercials patting yourself on the back. It makes you look worse than you already do. Don't let Ringo the CEO be your spokesman anymore. We hate him. Get an American with a comforting southern accent. Paula Deen maybe. Then make a bold move. Move your headquarters from Houston to New Orleans. Then you can say, "We're here for the long haul." and promise the many fishermen who provide the state with much-needed income that they can come directly to the HQ and make a claim. Then change your name. BP now means "We shat in your gumbo." Call yourself Louisiana Energy or Gas Orleans or Bayou Vroom-Vroom Juice. Will this work? Ask AirTran. They used to be ValuJet until they crashed into the south Florida swamp. Now they're based out of Orlando, and everybody loves them. Except Kevin Smith. Then go to every higher education institution in Louisiana and give them enough money to rename their agricultural or environmental science building "Bayou Vroom-Vroom Juice Hall." But first, plug the damn hole, clean up your mess and compensate the fishermen you fucked over.

Attention Whores

They annoy me. So your mommy didn't pay you enough attention, so now I gotta placate you? It's not even just people I know, though in my bidness there are A LOT. The inspiration for this rant was some numbnut I saw walking into work as I was walking out. They guy was wearing tighter than tight biking shorts and shirt, bright yellow. Then the guy had a bike helmet with a rear-view mirror attached to it, with some big sunglasses. We get it, you ride a bike. Then the douche had the nerve to cinch his bike, not to the bike rack like everyone else, but to a pole 6 inches away from the rack. While I have absolutely nothing against people who ride their bikes to work, I think that's great, fewer cars on the road, this bitch is too much. He's probably the CEO of the company and would love nothing more than to cut me loose like Lance Armstrong's missing nut. Smug bastard probably loves the smell of his own farts and looks down on the rest of us for not being as green as him and his tour de farce outfit.
This is what goes through my head when it's too early to go home and go to bed, and too late to have more coffee.

A ribcage!

I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish! I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

Shame Shame Shame

I've been writing stories about this oil leak in the Gulf for 35 days now. That's about 34.5 days too many. Every day there's something worse than the day before.
It's easy to say BP is to blame and they screwed up royally... they did. And it's easy to say the government displayed Bush-like ineffectiveness in dealing with the disaster... they did. But my concern isn't who did what... it's who is doing what right now. The U.S. has access to the greatest fucking minds in the world, and we're waiting on BP to come up with brilliant ideas. The best they can do is "shove cement, golf balls, and tires in it." Why are we trusting them to fix something when they're the ones that made the fucking mess in the first place?
Louisiana seems to the center of the universe when it comes to natural disasters that are magnified by human error. Five years after Katrina, things seemed to have come full circle. The Saints won the Super Bowl giving the region a much-needed shot of excitement after years of bad news. Then this happened. I can only hope the rest of the world realizes that New Orleans isn't on the Gulf and that its still the vibrant city it's always been. Oil, tourism, and fishing all have this symbiotic relationship that keeps the state afloat. When tragedy strikes one, the others suffer. I don't have the answer, and I don't think anyone has a perfect solution, but there needs to be a John Wayne dude to come in and get something done, instead of watching BP, the Coast Guard and the Government sit and bicker like junior high girls.
Like Smiley says...

Sleep. Rest. A Jedi craves not these things.

It's week two of my vampirical existence. So far no major problems, besides being tired and prone to nap at any moment. I'm working the 10p-8a shift at work. Who did I piss off to get that shitty shift? Well, I asked for it. The way I see it the benefits outweigh the problems. My 10-hour shifts give me a 4-day work week, with Weekends and Friday's off. Ya can't beat that. Plus I get a bump in pay, and I'm home for dinner every night. Before I was working nights and weekends, and had to get up at 6am, after working until 1am just to see my kids before they're off to school/babysitter. Then I would have to cram a week's worth of activities with them into the few hours before I had to work on the weekends. My breaking point with that schedule was when I had to request vacation time for my daughter's birthday party and dance recital, then hope no one else had that time off. I know nobody cares about my work schedule, but I've been up for about 23 hours now and I need to do something to get me through the next hour. My Dad sacrificed by standing on his feet 6 days a week running restaurants to make sure we had nice things. I think a little sleep deprivation is the least I can do.

I haven't updated this thing in a while. I get writer's block, actually, its not really writer's block, its "they can't handle it the truth" block. It reminds me of a line from a movie I can't watch anymore:

A writer? What do you have to write about? You're not oppressed. You're not gay.

I was reminded of this a few minutes ago, when I said the funniest shit ever, and I just got stares. OK, it wasn't funniest shit ever, but it was worthy of a mercy guffaw. I was just told to "calm down." Maybe I should make sports references or something. I can't since, as Bud Brumner pointed out, I'm not gay.

One.

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?