Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes

I should post more often.... I just have a thousand other things to do first. Send me an email telling me how much I suck. :) My eyes are getting heavy... time for bed.

3x Thursday

1. Have you ever been camping? If yes, do you go often? If not, why not?
Kinda sorta. I went to a cabin in the mountains. It had heat and a kitchen and cable. :) Thats as rough as I like to get it.
2. Are you an outdoorsy person, or would you rather stay inside the comfort of your house? Why?
Sheeit. I want to stay in the comfort of my house.
3. Which do you prefer, hot weather or cold weather? Why/why not? How do you cope with each?
Hot Weather! I hate the cold. I stay inside when its cold outside. Come to think of it... i stay inside when its hot. Except when its grass mowing day.
Bonus Question for Comments: What are you doing this 4th of July weekend?
Work. 3 11pm shows over the 3 day weekend.

I'm baaack

Its been a long ass time since I've posted anything. I've moved into my new house, so that took much time, and I didn't have the net in the interim. That, on top of playing with the baby, who teaches me things every day. You can see pictures of her in the flickr to the right.

Drop me an email or something, bitches.

She really didn't want to take this picture. Better ones to come. Keep your eye on the flickr.  

Happy Birthday, Abby Lane!

7 lbs, 10 oz, 20 in.

Pix and details to come!!

I Want My MTV

Who are the first Mtv VJs that you can remember? I remember the first ones. Martha Quinn, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, Nina Blackwell, and JJ Jackson (r.i.p.). I wasted so much of my youth watching them!

Name 3 tv shows that aired on Mtv. (were any of them actually music related?) The 3 best:
1. Yo! MTV Raps The greatest of all MTV shows. This show is often overlooked as being a major part of the rap revolution. Before Yo!, there was no rap on TV. Where would white kids see rap videos before YO!? It took rap out of the hood, and put it in the suburbs. Fab 5 Freddy, Dr. Dre (the fat one, not the former NWA one), and Ed Lover kicked ass.
2. Remote Control This was a great pop-culture game show. Adam Sandler, Colin Quinn & Kari Wuhrer got their starts on the show. I remember as a kid I knew all the answers, and hoped to one day sit in the recliner... and you get pelted with cereal if you get a question wrong. It rocked.
3. The Osbournes It turned Ozzy from Metal God to America's favorite dad. And it transformed his mental family into celebs as well. Yes, it jumped the shark fairly quick, but Ozzy still rules.


What bands do you think would be nothing without Mtv? Are you kidding? Any pop group that had a top 10 single after 1984!!! Case in point, before MTV, the hot groups were The Eagles, Christopher Cross and Grand Funk Railroad. The only place you would see what your favorite singer looked like was on the album cover, in concert, and sometimes in concerrt. Then when you actually had to look at the guys, they looked like regular schlubs (like me). Then MTV came along with the cool haircuts, the badass clothes, and just an image no one had seen before. Do you think Duran Duran would be anything without a video? Hell no.

Bonus: What is your favorite music video? Smack My Bitch Up by Prodigy. I've never sat in front of a video with my mouth agape, then that surprise ending! Somehow everyone should see it, then you'll see why I like it!

The Aristocrats

So wrong, yet so right.

I don't get it, though.

BlogdriveInsanity

BlogdriveInsanity:
01. How many music files do you have on your hard drive? About 100, but I regularly save them on a CD-Rom. In all, including my serious collection of Prince Bootleg mp3s, I have about 10,000 songs.
02. What was the last song that you heard that made you want to buy the cd immediately? None really. I like just downloading them. 9 times outta 10 the rest of the CDs gonna suck. I did get the Ozzy Box set, because it was all new versions of classic songs, and it came with a DVD. These new "dual disc" releases that are coming out now are interesting. Its an easy way to get back at the downloaders. I'd actually buy a disc if it came with something more than the usual 15 tunes.
03. Name at least four of your favorite 'oldies but goodies'. There are too many old songs I like. I'll give you four of my favorite artists that are considered "oldies:" a) The Beatles. Classic, no explanation needed. b) Jimmy Buffett. The guy had one hit single in the last 25 years, but still sells out arenas, and makes millions. I like his tunes a lot. c) Willie Nelson. This guy puts out an album a year, and goes on tour every year. He's approaching 103 years old, but still puts on a hell of a show, and will stand outside his bus for hours signing autographs. d) The Eagles. These guys seem to be douchebags in real life, and I'm sure are just going out on tour for the money ($250 to look at 4 middle age guys up close? c'mon!), but damn its good to hear those songs being played live. Joe Walsh is the exception, he seems like a fun guy to hang with. He probably lives to play jokes on Don Henley.
04. What is the last song that you like so much you just HAD to learn the lyrics "In My Daughter's Eyes"... for obvious reasons.

I ain't no Hollaback Girl

I haven't been feeling creative lately, so here you go, anyway.
The Music Memoirs:
First recording artist you had a crush on. Olivia Newton John in Grease. I was 4. I knew I wanted the leather-slut Sandy, not the puking at the quasi-lezbo slumber party Sandy.

First band you obsessed over. Ozzy. I was the only kid in 4th grade with an Ozzy T-shirt. Ahhh the 80s. :) He's got some neurological disease that gives him the shakes. I feel sorry for him, cuz he's been shit on left and right... and those kids, and that wife, and all those fuckers leeching at his house. Poor Bastard.. poor poor bastard.

First song you wanted to forget I dunno, I forgot.

First song that you liked but none of your friends liked. I was the only kid I know who listened Prince. So I caught shit from my friends all the time. Now when I was front row at the Prince show, I had 6 people saying they wish they had my seat.

George W. Bush Jacked Off A Horse

This is relief for anyone whose ever been an apartment dweller. Its the Revenge CD. Here's a look at the funky trax:

1) Drill; 2) Party (At Least 200 People); 3) Orgasm (Outstanding); 4) Train; 5) Drum (Played by a Child); 6) Inhuman Screams; 7) Walking (High Heels); 8) Domestic Squabble; 9) Doors Banging; 10) Bowling; 11) Unhappy Dog; 12) Practicing Scales (Violin); 13) Traffic Jam; 14) Garbage Truck; 15) Newborn; 16) Phone Ringing; 17) Ball Game; 18) Pigeons; 19) Spring Cleaning; and 20) Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!

To all those messikins who insist upon playing the Mexico's Top Hits at all hours of the night... payback's a beeeech, vato! Its like a Tijuana disco up there. I can just imagine leaving that CD on for hours while I'm at work. Ahhh. Sweet Revenge.

Speaking of revenge, the runaway bride's husband needs to get as far away from this bug-eyed psycho bitch as soon as possible. He says he still wants to marry her, after she ran off, and sparked a manhunt. He's admirable for sticking by this broad, but dayum, what an idiot.

Other shit (besides the fucking runaway bride) in the news that annoys me:

Michael Jackson Trial - Fry him or let him go, just be done with it.
The ABC American Idol Exposé - Who gives a shit. Reality TV is not real? Imagine that. So the douchebag with no talent got slighted by another douchebag with no talent. Is this really a big deal? There are people starving to death in this country, giving hand jobs for crack, living out on the street, smart kids not able to go to college because its too expensive... but ABC chooses to expend its journalistic efforts on exposing Paula Abdul's penchant for young hot cock.
Laura Bush's 'Desperate Housewives' Comment - Yet again, who cares. So she does a few jokes that someone else wrote. Lighten the fuck up. They're jokes. So she made a joke about George W. Bush jacking off a horse. Woooo... how risqué! She joked about going to a strip bar with other uptight Washington biddies. You can't do anything without pissing someone off.

What my birthday means.

Your Birthdate: February 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sunday Brunch

1. What do you tend to focus on the most?
A. The past.
B. The present.
C. The future as you think it will be.
D. The future as you are afraid it will be.

The future as I think it will be. If you live in the past and go backwards, you'll never go forward, or get anything new. Like my Dad always says, "If you do what you always did, you gonna get what you always got." Onward and Upward. Nobody can make your future for you. Do what you have to do to make your future what you want it to be. A dream without a plan is just an activity.

2. Name three famous people (living or dead) whose blogs you would like to be able to read. Prince, John Lennon, Ron Jeremy.



3. How long have you lived in your current residence? How much longer do you intend to live in the same place? We've lived in this shithole for like 10 months, and we're getting out ASAP. Soon as the new house is ready, we're outta here. Pix of it is in the flickr.

4. Take the pointless quiz: What color is your heart? Black.

6. RAPID FIRE Question #2: Who or what is the most annoying:
a) Politician George W. Bush
b) Late Night Talk Show Host Jay Leno. "Have you seen this, have you heard about this?"
c) Color Periwinkle. Actually I'm colorblind, so they all are annoying.
d) Habit Smoking. If you want to inhale smoke and carcinogens, do it so it doesn't invade my airspace, bitch.
e) Female Celebrity Paris Hilton, Star Jones, Rosie O'donnell, J-Lo, The list goes on.
f) Male Celebrity Anyone affiliated with American Idol.
g) Television Show American Idol
h) Commercial The biracial life partners in the AOL commercial (see the other post )
i) Fashion Statement Trucker Hats. Even more when they're sideways.
j) Word Blog

Thanx 2 Patrick's Place

And I Ran... I Ran So Far Awaaaay...

Yay Georgia! Another reason for the rest of the country to laugh at us! The Runaway Bride story happened in the same city they found the guy who went on a shooting rampage at the courthouse. Where was Geraldo Rivera? Yall knew I couldn't resist spewing some bile on this bug-eyed spoiled sack of shit. After hours and hours of people looking for her... it turns out she got "cold feet" over her wedding. I'm waiting for every person who spent days looking for her to smack her upside the head. I'm waiting for them to come up with some bullshit excuse like "she had emotional problems," or "she was taking Xanax and couldn't think straight." Puh-leeze. Lets call it like it is, a spoiled bitch threw a tantrum, and thousands of people paid for it. So she got cold feet about a wedding, no big deal, but if you're gonna run off, leave a fucking note. Do the world a favor. If you don't want to get married, just say so, get it over with, so everyone can get on with their lives. I feel for the soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. This poor bastard got the shit end of the stick. Not only did his woman run off, but he's been on TV for 3 days saying how much he misses her, now he's looking like a jackass. The only good thing, he saw what kind of psycho bitch she was before he walked down the aisle. He turned out to be the victim here. Now this guy's gonna be scared shitless the next time he's in a relationship. Everytime the next girl goes to the store or something, he's gonna be wondering if she's coming back. Wondering if whatever he did to set off the first chick is going to set this one off, and she's going to do the same thing. In her one huge selfish act, she left a scar on this guy's heart that won't ever fully heal. Imagine whats going through his head now... "what did I do?" "what did I say?" The guy tried to do everything right, and now look what he's left with. The ruins of what could've been... and a little relief over bullets dodged. Would her apologies be worth anything? He might smile and say he still loves her, but he knows she'll run away again. Maybe not for Las Vegas and spark a nationwide manhunt... but he'd be a fool to say they're still getting married. I'm sure they'll go there separate ways and try to avoid anyone who heard of this story.

Now here's the real news: Jennifer Wilbanks Too Annoying to remain Kidnapped

More Star Wars Hype!

The posters just ain't what they used to be... or are they what they used to be?

Blame Canada!

I usually laugh heartily when I see someone forget the words to a song, or slip and fall on the ice with thousands of people watching... but when all of those things happen at the same time...

I laugh uncontrollably.

I feel for the poor lady, but dayum, you gotta take certain precautions. Jeeez.

I also found an interesting extension for firefox, its the "Abe Vigoda Status" plug-in. Its useful if, from time to time, you need to know if Abe Vigoda is alive or dead. Today: Alive. For the record, I'm pretty sure Abe could both sing the national anthem with all the words intact, and stand on ice at the same time. He was in The Godfather for Chrissakes.

Just in case the make slavery legal again...

I am worth $1,959,252.00 on HumanForSale.com.

Now, how much to rent, I wonder...

The Old Negro Space Program

Who knew there was a Negro Space Program. It was a concerted effort by the government and the press in the 50s and 60s to keep the blackstronauts down. Now in the 21st century, its our duty as a civilized society to pay homage to these brave souls. All I can say is, its a good thing Buzz Aldrin could pass off as black! Do your part, watch the documentary.

More Funner Than Regis

1. What season are you in right now? Pollen.
2. Do you celebrate anything special this time of year? I have many reasons to celebrate this special time of year... so yes.
3. Name 3 things that come to mind when you think of spring (or your current season)? a)Pollen b)Sinus Problems c)The 2nd half of the school year.
4. In the current season, about how many hours of the day are daylight hours? Uhhh about 12.
5. Do you do any 'spring cleaning?' Yeah, I clean about once a year.
6. Do you wash your own car or take it to the car wash? take it to the car wash because a) I'm lazy, and b) I'd have to wait in line behind the mexicans to use the car wash at this horrible apartment complex.
7. Do you hang your laundry out on a clothesline on nice days? What are we back in the pioneer days? I have this new invention called a "dryer." It flips them around and blows hot air on them.

Monday Music Mambo:
01. This favorite 90s sitcom didn't really have a theme song, just a bass guitar line. Seinfeld
02. What show's theme song closes with the words "Hello, Wisconsin!"? That 70s Show. Its called "That 70s Song."
03. Danny Elfman composed the theme to this animated favorite. The Simpsons. He also did 'Tales from the Crypt,' The Batman movie and a ton of other movies. Besides being a founding member of "Oingo Boingo."
04. When, according to the theme song, did the action in "Mystery Science Theater 3000" take place? In the year 3000? I never watched that show.
05. The three "CSI" shows use songs by what band for their themes? The Who. They are: "Who are you"(csi), "Baba O'Reilly"(csi:ny), and "Won't get fooled again"(csi:miami)
06. Frank Sinatra's "Love and Marriage" was used as the theme for what show? Married With Children.
07.What music legend sang the theme for "A Different World?" Aretha Franklin.
08. Mark Snow composed the theme to this 90s sci-fi series. The X-Files (guess)
09. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants
10. The O'Jays' "For the Love of Money" is now better known as the theme to what show? The Apprentice. MoneyMoneyMoneyMoooonaaaay
11. This show used "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett as its theme. No idea, I vaguely remember a show used it.
12. "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs" was the theme to what show? Frasier.
13. Where was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air born and raised? Philadelphia
14. Hank Williams, Jr. adapted one of his more popular songs for this long-running sports show in the 90s. Monday Night Football is the show, "All my rowdy friends" is the song.
15. "This Wheel's on Fire" by Bob Dylan and Rick Danko was re-recorded for the theme to what show? NO idea.
16. "Dog Pound Hop" was the title of the theme from this weird animated show. No idea.
17. War's "Low Rider" is the theme to what current sitcom? The George Lopez Show. The only famous guy to ever come out of my alma mater is a bit player on that show. Go Pan-Am!

Godspeed, chastv.com, Godspeed

The chastv.com domain is going away. So if you got here via that, change your bookmark to chaswelch.com. Click here to open it in another window and then hit control+d in Firefox or Internet Explorer. 

The Worst Commercial, Ever. Who are these assholes? If, in the year 2005, someone has a computer and doesn't know what anti-virus software does, HE SHOULDN'T BE USING A COMPUTER. And if he has to be taught by a back dude putting shit all over his lunch, then he should be shot. AOL... Assholes On Lithium.