3 parachutes for the cast of Seinfeld

You've been given 3 parachutes, but there are 4 people who need them. Who will you not give one to: Jerry, Elaine, George, or Kramer?
Elaine's gotta go. Its Jerry's show, you gotta have him. Kramer is hilarious, and would never hurt anyone intentionally... unintentionally sure... but he's the most considerate of the group (which ain't saying much). Costanza has to live, if nothing else because it would make him more miserable. Elaine is a self-centered bitch who never contributed anything to the group... even though that was pretty much her character.

01. Can you remember where you were in life ten years ago? If you could travel back in time and whisper something to yourself ten years ago, what would it be? Ten years ago I was a college student in my senior year, interning at a tv station, learning my trade. Life was beautiful. I partied, I worked hard, I studied hard, I had some great friends, I lived at home, I had very few bills, it was great. There are many nights drinking in Mexico that I can barely remember. As for what I'd whisper to myself, it would probably be winning lottery numbers, Super Bowl winners, and some stock tips.

02. You inherit a large piece of land and decide to build a theme park a la "Disneyland, Sea World, etc.) What would you name your theme park and what would your mascot be? PornLand The mascot would be a cartoon dick with a smiley face on it. Dickey would be his name. His girlfriend, Smelly Pussy, is a cat with a funny lisp. Their neighbor is Dirty Beaver, she's a nosy, yet lovable little lady. Among the attractions: the noon nude parade through Downtown PornLand, "Its a Smut World, after all," where you can sample pornography from around the world (Stay away from Germany, unless you have a strong stomach), The Lesbian Log Ride, and Bukkake Mountain.

04. What would someone absolutely HAVE to know about you if they were considering sharing a room with you? Don't touch my shit.

05. According to the song White Rabbit, "one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small". If you were offered these pills today, which pill would you take and why? That songs sucks. Jefferson Airplane sucks. Jefferson Starship sucks. Starship sucks. 'We built this city' sucks too.