Santa tells Abby a joke

"So I tell Mrs. Claus, 'That ain't no Yule log!'"

Kay Ef See

I was quite amused by the story of the girls bathing in the KFC sink. Especially the fact that it was on the news before the manager knew about it. I worked at KFC in high school, and I saw many things. Nothing involving half-naked chicks though. There was the time Tommy 2-Short, a diminutive rapping chicken-frier, who got blown in the men's bathroom (while he was supposed to be cleaning it) by a pregnant white trash co-worker. There was the time a co-worker and I were supposed to go get drunk, but he couldn't make it cuz he was in jail for attempted murder. Then there was the time I dared this black dude to throw a ball made of flour and water at the owner's son. He did it. There were some other bizarre shit that went down but I have to plead the fifth on the rest.

I think anyone who has to work at a fast food restaurant deserves a break, somewhat. It's degrading, it's nasty, and it doesn't pay well. If nothing else it inspired me to work hard to get a job that doesn't involve cleaning deep-fat fryers. Don't get me wrong, these broads shouldn't have done something so unsanitary. No customer deserves to have a stranger's ass and vagina slime on their food. At least they're bathing, which is more than can be said about many of the fast food employees I've run into.

What about you? Surely you've had some shitty job that has permanently scarred you. Hit comments and release your inner Dave Thomas.

Abby voted for "Rocka Bama"

November 4th, It's either sadness or euphoria.

I'm often asked about who I'm voting for in the upcoming election. I haven't written about it, since (according to my Dad and Brother) I'm a member of the liberal elite media, I don't want to take sides. I will say this: We live in the greatest country on earth, and we're forced to pick between the lesser of two evils.
One of my favorite performers, Billy Joel, today was asked which of his songs fits each of the candidates. He didn't answer, but played this song which I think sums up the painful yet necessary evil we call presidential politics.

Summer, Highland Falls.
They say that these are not the best of times
But they're the only times I've ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own

Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover's eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It's either sadness or euphoria

And so we'll argue and we'll compromise
And realize that nothing's ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same

Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
Our reason coexists with our insanity
And though we choose between reality and madness
It's either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It's either sadness or euphoria

I'm hungry and it ain't lunchtime yet.

What is your favorite…

Breakfast Food: Eggs, bacon, grits, toast. Why yes, I am from the south and obese, why do you ask?
Pizza: Anything thin crust, and Domino's philly cheese-steak pizza.
Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry's peanut butter cup. Them hippies make a helluva ice cream.
Caffeinated Beverage: Coke. There ain't no other.
Vegetable: Funyuns
Fruit: Skittles
Dessert: Chocolate Cream parfait from KFC. I don't think they sell these anymore, but when I was a kid they were the shit.
Fast Food Chain: It depends on my mood. But I can usually eat Taco Bell any time of the day or night.
Store-bought Beer (or soda if you don’t drink beer): I rarely drink, but the only beer I ever actually enjoyed was Mini-Coronas in Mexico with those lil limes.
Type of Cuisine: Mexican
BONUS: What kind of food are you the best at cooking/baking? I'm good at cooking everything, yes everything. except pancakes. My spaghetti and meatballs are an aphrodisiac. Think they ain't?

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Paula Deen.

A day at the beach

i'm sitting here on the beach, my feet kicked up, music playing, a cool wind is blowing, and I'm watching Tina and Abby collect sea shells. I'm thinking life doesn't get any better.

You've seen them live

Tell us the following:
The best artist you've seen perform live and the worst: (from a musical standpoint) The best is Prince, of course, no one comes close. I've seen him live 21 times over the last 20 years in 6 different cities. Every show was different, and better than the one before. Except the one he did with Tamar in 2006. It was kinda shitty except for the 4 of his own songs he performed. Some performers just walk out, play the same playlist they did in the last 24 shows, say one sentence in between songs, do the obligatory encore, then leave. Prince ain't never had a show like that. Prince plays the music that blows your mind, showing off a skill that has risen to the level of genius. He also talks to the audience throughout the whole show, making you feel like you're a part of something rather than a spectator. Finally, it is damn entertaining (at least to me) to watch him operate as a band leader. Beyond just playing guitar, keyboard, and singing, he's calling out orders to the band, arranging and re-arranging songs on the fly. That's why he has top notch musicians who can handle anything a madman like him throws at them. If anyone walks out of a Prince concert without, at the very least, bobbing their head or humming a tune, then they need to have their meds readjusted.
The worst concert is pretty hard to nail down. I've been to some shitty shows. The very worst concert I've ever attended was Music Midtown in Atlanta. First of all there was no parking so I had to walk for miles and miles to get there. It was a 2-day concert, and I only wanted a 1-day ticket,but they "sold out" of the single-day tickets. Then it was hot and sooo dusty. I got to see some shitty groups/performers like Freddy Jackson, and Steppenwolf. The only good guys were Night Ranger and Loverboy, but they were like 20 years out of their prime. So they sucked. I never went back and they quit holding them. Good riddance.
The concert with the worst audience: Richie P and I went to some rap concerts in New Orleans back in the early 1990s. We were the only white guys there. It was before rap was mainstream and we got some weird looks. Then somebody stole my badass Ice Cube cap. What was I gonna do? Cry like a bitch? Go tell the security guy? "Scuse me officer, have you seen a black guy with a black baseball cap?"
The most expensive concert and the least expensive: The most expensive concert was in 2002. Gabino and I spent a week in Minneapolis watching 7 nights of Prince concerts. The tickets weren't that expensive, but I had to buy 7 of them and hotel and airfare. But it was worth every fucking penny. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I've been to tons of free concerts, many of them I got through connections at work.

Werd Association

Technology: She blinded me with science - welcome to the 80s.
Exercise: Let's get physical Olivia never looked so good
Punch: I got nothing.
Temperature: Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.
Fire: Let me stand next to your fire Jimi still rocks.
Clothes: Fashion Bowie's still weird.
Doll: I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world
Sweet: Sweet Emotion I love the ending of this video!
Makeup: Amy Winehouse's scary mug. What a nutjob.
Drunk: Why don't we get drunk and screw Jimmy still rocks.

What about you? Did my picks suck? Hit comments and release your inner Thomas Dolby.

The Naughty Librarian

Name seven cool movie gadgets you’d like to own:

Ziggy from Quantum Leap: A little pda that can tell you the future.

Communicator Badge from Star Trek: Just tap your chest and talk, better than bluetooth!

Darth Vader's innards from Star Wars: Anakin was basically a barbequed torso, then they made him into this 7 foot asthmatic menace.

The Holodeck from Star Trek: I'd never leave the house if I had one of those!

Rosie the Robot maid from The Jetsons: Actually, I just want a maid. :)
Listen: Name one cover of a song that you think is better than the original. There are many, but the first one that comes to mind is "Walk This Way." Aerosmith's original is pretty good, but Run-DMC's is legendary.
Watch: What was your favorite show in the 90s? The Sopranos, without a doubt.
Read: Name the ideal setting for reading a book (at the park, in bed with candles, etc.). Sitting on the throne.


Top 5 "Goodbye" songs

Boyz II Men - "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" 90's goodness. A nod to the 1970's flick "Cooley High."

"Excuse me, but is this really goodbye?" Prince outtake goodness.

"Time of your life (Good Riddance)" Green Day. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

"Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" Cheezy 60's goodness.

"I will always love you" - Dolly's version not that crackhead Whitney's!

Abby's New Haircut

She took some scissors to her hair, which inspired the new 'do.

Take a look at this list of famous musical vegetarians and vegans. List your favorite song by each person.
Paul McCartney (it looks like all of the Beatles were vegetarians, actually). To Live And Let Die. Hearing it live is phenomenal. John was always the protester of the group, then after he died Paul didn't exactly take up the anti-war vibe. He became vegan. Maybe he can grow a set using the compost he's no doubt making in the backyard of his mansion.
Johnny Marr and Morrissey (pick a Smiths song) Umm none. I never listen to these dorks.
Fiona Apple - Sleep To Dream I loved this song from the first time I heard it and saw the video. It takes me back to 1995. No surprise this granola chick is a vegan.
Prince - Too many. But being a vegan has prompted him to write some whack songs.
Meat Loaf (oh, the irony!) "I would do anything for an organic vegan brownie."
Carrie Underwood No fucking idea.
Chris Martin (pick a Coldplay song) - Mexican Clocks Except for this tune, this band sucks. Who the hell cares if you're depressed. Snap out of it, pussies.

I'm a meat-atarian. Man is a hunter and gatherer... we should eat meat... it's in our DNA... contrary to Peta's view that man's insides aren't meant for meat.
What do you think? Hit 'comments' and release your inner Ted Nugent.

Hey, ya know what?

I hate Dane Cook and The Big Lebowski. Neither are funny.
There, I said it.

Badass JamZ

Hey Teens...
I was listening to the Hits channel on Sirius, and it was horrible. I've always said the day I got old was the day I complained about today's popular music and saying, "Back in my day..."

Guess what. I'm old.

I was mildly amused the "I kissed a girl and I liked it" song... then I realized I was playing into this crappy pop singer's hands. She never kissed a girl... but she did know that guys are into the thought of chicks kissing. Guilty as charged... but don't pander to me.

Anyway, for some decent music, hit play on the tape to the right and hear some badass JamZ. Some of the tunes suck, I put them in to make the other ones look that much better. Which ones do you think are the sucky ones? I used to have a bunch of these tunes on "mix CDs" which are commonplace now, but back in my day, we had mixtapes, then I came up with mix CDs. Yes me. I'm taking credit for it. I was doing it before you or the nerdy kid you knew in 1995. Everyone who listened to them said "this rocks." The CDs are all gone now, people either took them or I gave them away. I believe music should be shared. So hit play... then hit comments and release your inner Casey Kasem.

Bigfoot my foot!

The Bigfoot thing was a hoax. Stevie Wonder could see it was a just a gorilla suit.

Word Association

We haven't done a music word association in awhile:
Ending: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Long: The Long and Winding Road
School: School's out for... ever.
Teen: Teenage Wasteland
Crazy: Crazy... for thinking that my love could hold you
Search: Hold on, I'm still searching for a song with search in it.
Baby: Hit me baby one more time.
Shoes: These boots were made for walkin...
Mellow: I wanna get lost in the mellow mellow of my mind.
Window: Put a candle in the window.

OK teens, it's your turn, hit comments and release your inner John Fogerty.

The best things in life

Number 081608: Mrs. Freshley's Doughnut Sticks.  Maybe it's because I'm starving, but these fucking things rock.

It smells like Bigfoot's dick!

What the hell is this? Only in Georgia would two rednecks get together, dress one of them up as a gorilla, get into a freezer, and say they found Bigfoot. Keep in mind this is the same state that produced something called "Hogzilla" and his much nastier sister "Cynthia McKinney." Do these guys really believe that there is a race of half-human, half-apes hiding in North Georgia? Do they even have regular apes in Georgia?
Bring the pain...
1. Do you prefer a hotter climate or a colder climate?
Hotter is better, the cold hurts.
2. If you could live anywhere on the planet and money wasn’t an object, which area would you choose? Somewhere in the South, maybe near a beach.
3. Do you prefer walking, riding a bike, driving or flying when you are going somewhere? Driving, or flying if I could afford it.
4. Take the quiz: What planet do you come from?
What Planet Are You From?
5. What is the biggest change you have made to help the environment?
I put one out of every 6 cans in the recycle bin. and my car is fuel-efficient.
6. If scientists discovered signs of life on another planet, would you worry about your safety if that material was brought to Earth for study? Nope. There should be no boundaries for ethical study. I don't think you should clone humans, but if a wookiee was discovered I'd say let's find out all we can about him.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Boba Fett.

Reflection

Two sevens together
Like time, indefinite
Trying to catch the glass
befor it falls
Without a frown
Can you turn up the stereo?
I wanna play you this old song about love
Can I do that?

Did we remember to water the plants today?
I forgot to look up at the moon because
I was too busy
Looking at you babe

Still it's nice to know
That when bodies wear out
We can get another
What does that 1 thing have 2 do with the other 1?
I don't know
I was just thinking about my mother

Turn the stereo back down
Ain't nothing worse than an old worn out love song
Tell me do you like my hair this way
Remember all the way back in the day
When we would compare who's afro was the roundest

Mirrored tiles above the bed
Fishing nets and posters all over the wall
Oh yes, sometimes
Sometimes I just wanna go sit out on the stoop
And uh... play my guitar
Just watch all... all the cars go by...

I was looking through some old old emails that I saved and I thought it was funny how, in an instant, you can be shot back 5 years like a slingshot. All the emotions come welling back up. Roads not taken, choices not made, songs not played. Eh. Ain't nothin worse than an old worn out love song.

I'm running for president

Six On Sunday

1. When is the last time you actually filled your car’s car tank completely?
I do it all the time.  If I find a good price, I have to take advantage of it.
2. What’s the most you’ve paid for a gallon of gas so far?
$4.03, but that was in the city in a bad neighborhood, out in the 'burb where I live its cheaper.  I haven't paid over $4 many times.  ATL's under the national average, but not much.
3. Has the high gas prices affected how much you travel at all?
Indirectly, because with rising airline prices I can't afford 3 plane tickets... but via car not really.  It's worth the extra money to get away for a few days, even though I don't do it as much as I should.
4. Take the quiz: What does the road trip of your life say about you?

The Road Trip of Your Life

You see life as precious and special. Heritage and family are very important to you. You live life at a fairly leisurely pace. You take time to enjoy the sweeter parts of life, even when you're busy. You don't like a lot of risk or randomness in your life. You prefer to stick with what's known, even if it's a bit boring. You are able to find a fairly healthy balance between work and play. You work when you need to, but you never let yourself burn out. In another life, you could have been a great artist. You trust your creative instincts enough to let them lead you.

The Road Trip Test

5. Which single statement was the most accurate about you?
All of them, more or less.

6. If your best friend called you up and wanted to take a week-long road trip, would you be able to afford it?
I could make it work.  I may have to rely on bologna sammiches and Ramen n00dles, but I could do it. 
What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Clark Griswald.

Milestones

Abby had her first haircut recently.

She also went to her first Braves game. She obviously had more fun eating ball park food and playing around. Turner Field has so much stuff for kids to do. It was a fun night.

Tina and Abby went out of town this week, so I'm home all alone. So its just me, Prince and Papa John. It's a sausage fest in here... shit, wait... no not that kind dammit!

More of my bullshit

Who is your favorite Beatle? Not that I have one, but I would pick John.
What is one of your favorite Beatle songs? Key word there is "one of," because I have so many. The whole 2nd side of Abbey Road, Most of the White Album, and all of Rubber Soul.
Best/Worst cover of a Beatles song How about I show you:

Best song by a Beatle after the breakup "Imagine." bar none. Well maybe "Back Off Bugaloo." Just kidding :) "Imagine" sums up perfectly hope for a better world amid so much turmoil. Lennon was talking about early 70s turmoil, which is different than the current day turmoil, which is different than future turmoil. Despite that, the words fit perfect. As a writer, you hope your words are timeless and enduring. Very few songs resonate like "Imagine" in that respect. Prince's "Sign O' The Times" comes close. Also, Paul McCartney had a string of great solo tunes as well. "Live And Let Die," and "Maybe I'm Amazed" are among the best. Both of those sound amazing live. I put those tunes in the playlist, hit play on the cassette to the right to hear them.
Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both? Absolutely not. When you're running your mouth, you can't absorb anything. I am a listener, I don't talk much. You can get more information that way. Ben Franklin I think once said, "The ear should be sharper than the tongue."
Do you think God has a sense of humor? Aw hell yeah. I am living proof!
Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it? Yes and yes.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Lance Brumder.

At The Movies

After watching the Academy Awards some months ago, I decided I would use my knowledge of the internet's backroads to watch some of these honored flicks in an effort to be more cultured. Since then, I've seen some of the movies that got the most buzz. I don't know if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominating committees were watching the same movies, but the ones I've watched... suck.
Here now is my rundown of a few movies that Oscar cheered, but Chas kinda jeered:
Juno: Won for best original screenplay, the only win of its 4 nominations. Slang-slinging teen misfit learns life lessons while pregnant. The writing was pretty good, despite trying to crow-bar in the teenspeak. The acting was well-done, but the story just kinda dragged. The music to me sounded all the same. I think they hired the first granola chick at the local liberal arts college who played guitar to shit out a few songs. At the end I was just thinking, "So what?"
There Will Be Blood: Won two of its eight Oscar nods, one for best actor Daniel Day Lewis, and the other for best cinematography. There will be boredom. By the end of the 6-to-7 hour movie I was going to demand my money back. I couldn't exaclty do that, so I was going to find Paul Thomas Anderson and waste 6-to-7 hours of his life. Maybe ask him Dirk Diggler questions. I should've known better after watching two of his other movies, "Magnolia" and "Punch Drunk Love." They both sucked major ass. Anyway, the plot on this clunker went nowhere: a Sleazy oilman and his son shiester a small town. I was pleading with the movie gods to please make something happen. It just dragged on and on and on. The dialogue was sparse, and not compelling. The characters had moments where they were interesting, but the momentum then fizzled. For example, the soft-spoken preacher guy was pretty boring the whole movie, then all of a sudden he's this charasmatic evangelist who was healing in the church. I was left thinking, 'where the hell did that come from?' And contrary to popular belief, Daniel Day Lewis can't cover up his british accent. He just sounds fake in this and in "Gangs of New York." I don't know why Hollywood swings on this guy's nuts... or the nuts of this film.
Sicko: Nominated for best documentary feature. I like Michael Moore, but this thing was a fill-in-the-blank documentary for him. It gave a little more credence to his critics who say you can slant something to make it look however you want. Plus it was so anti-American it made my stomach turn. Don't phone it in Mike, you're better than that.
Michael Clayton: Tilda Swinton Won Best Supporting Actress for the film, the only winner among its 6 nominations. Good film, however it's not without its flaws. It's way too long, and the dialogue just drags and drags. Too much needless conversation. Overall the movie was engaging, and kept me interested until the end. That Tilda Sinton woman who got the Oscar was barely in it, and I didn't think her performance was anything special... and she kinda freaked me out cuz she's reminds me of those old concentration camp newsreels. George Clooney should've gotten an Oscar for this film.
American Gangster: Nominated for best art direction and Ruby Dee was nominated for best supporting actress Good film, lots of action. I like gangster films, and this fits in well with the classics. Denzel should've been nominated here. You can see the anger that's boiling just below his cool exterior, and when it blows, it's spectacular. It had a happy ending that I thought was a bit cheezy. Russell Crowe CANNOT do a Jersey accent. It's just impossible. He should stick to gladiator movies. The writing was good and the character development was good as well. I agree with the art direction nod, everything in it looked like the 70s and early 80s. The cars, the clothes, etc. They looked like that era, but not too cliche. I don't get the Ruby Dee nomination, she was barely in it, and she plays the same old lady she's been playing since 'Do The Right Thing.'
BONUS: 2006 FILM I SAW LAST NIGHT:
Little Miss Sunshine: Won two of four nominations: Best screenplay and Alan Arkin won best supporting actor. Imagine if you got the most boring professor you had in college, then told him to remake "National Lampoon's Vacation." You would get "Little Miss Sunshine." A hapless dad takes his know-it-all wife, weird kids, and strange family members on a cross-country trip in a silly vehicle. Can't miss, huh? Oh yeah. I chuckled exactly 3 times in this movie. The only bright spot is Alan Arkin's cursing grandpa (the Aunt Edna of the trip, he even dies halfway through like Aunt Edna!). But you get no sense of why he's an old coot. The characters' exposition should weave into the story... but it doesn't. I think by the end of a movie, the characters should have changed in some way. In this movie, they did... and that's the one good thing I can say about it.

Now my usual caveat, this is my opinion I welcome yours, hell, I'm pleading for it! Hit comments and release your inner Peter Travers.

Back In Black

1. Who's the black sheep in your family? In my immediate family there's only 3 of us, so nobody. In my whole family, it would be my brother. He always ummm "did his own thing."
2. Do you take your coffee black? Nope. I put tons of cream and sugar. I need it smooth and full of caffeine.
3. Do you own a Blackberry? Nah, I don't need to be that in touch. I would get one if it didn't cost extra on your phone plan or if they gave me one at work. I asked for one, they said I didn't need one, and that they were not going to give me one just to play with. Overall, I'm enamored with gadgets, and I fight back the urge to get one just for the sake of having it.
4. Which black forest would you rather eat - cake or ham? Cake, definitely cake. Ham is good, but it ain't cake.
5. Have you ever had a black eye? Nope, I'm a lover not a fighter.

See Ya George

George Carlin died yesterday. I'm kinda sad. I met him once in December 2004 at a book signing. He was a dick to me. I walked up and said, "Hi, I'm Chas" as I handed him my book, to which he replied, "I don't personalize nothin!" Then when I asked if I could take a picture with him he said, "Sure, but I usually don't look up." As you can see, he didn't look up. Then I got home and started reading the book. It sucked. Why would I say less than flattering things about a guy who just died? Because George was a "call it like you see it" kind of guy, and would want no less. If someone is a dick, call them a dick... not a "personality-challenged individual." Just listen.
Despite that one bad experience, I have loved his comedy since the early 80s when, as an impressionble youth, would watch his HBO specials. Even as a kid I liked him because he not only made you laugh, he also made you think. Godspeed funnyman.

The story of my life

If you're at work, you'll wanna turn the sound down.
You're doing your best, working you ass off, then a bug flies into your mouth.
Wait, that was wrong.

More of these things that you guys keep telling me you loooove!

1. How many days a week, on average, do you eat breakfast? I eat breakfast every day. Six days a week its toast to go, cuz I don't have time to eat.
2. If you eat a breakfast that involves actual cooking, what are most likely to prepare for yourself? Every once in a while I'll fry a couple of eggs.
3. If you eat a breakfast that requires no cooking, what are you most likely to choose for yourself? Toast, cereal, sometimes instant oatmeal.
4. Take the quiz: What Kind of Cereal Are You?

You Are Cheerios

Like other Cheerios eaters, you want to be a responsible adult. But you can't help but still be a kid at heart! You try to make good decisions. You're a clean cut, conscientious person. You're the type of person who would never skip breakfast. Part of you thinks that breakfast is too important to miss... But a bigger part of you knows it's too fun to miss!

What Kind of Cereal Are You?

That's funny, cuz I don't like Cheerios.
5. When you eat pancakes, how many do you typically place in a stack?4
6. How do you like your pancakes: with butter/margarine or without, and what flavor of syrup? Butter and regular ole maple syrup.
What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Tony the Tiger.

Word Association

The first song/artist/album that comes to mind when you see these colors:
Pink: Aerosmith's tune of that name.
Purple: Rain
Blue: -s Brothers
White: Lines (old school rap song)
Gold: Band Of..
Silver: Maxwell's Hammer, The Beatles
Green: Day
Yellow: Submarine, The Beatles
Red: 99 Balloons
Brown: James,the Godfather of Soul

I added these songs to the playlist, hit play on the cassette to the right for more badass JamZ, then hit comments and leave your favorite color songs/artist/album and release your inner Barry White or Jackson Brown.

its 5 am.

Hey teens.
I know it has been quite some time since I have posted. Why? I dunno.
I started a new job, got a new car, and my baby is about to turn 3. I went on a cruise and I hate the bahamas. Life is what you make of it. I'll try and be more attentive.

1. What was your most memorable moment in school? In high school it was driving to school and showing up wearing my cool Girbaud or Cavariccis. Then I graduated and I realized I wasn't cool. I hated high school. In college, it was becoming the 'teacher's pet' cuz I was a freaking journalistic genius. Then I graduated and realized I wasn't a genius.
2. What was your favorite subject in school? My writing classes and the classes on computers. Back then, classes with computers were considered "high tech."
3. Did you participate in any extracurricular activities? Nope. I hated school and wanted to leave ASAP. I worked. That was my extracurricular activity. I fried chicken for the Colonel and filled up a trough at Golden Corral.
4. If you could go back in time and give your school-age self some advice, what would you say? Participate in extracurricular activities, not because they'll help you later in life, but because they might make you hate school less.

1. What is your favorite song about or mentioning Mexico? "...but it's a real beauty, a mexican cutie. How it got here I haven't a clue."
2. What is your favorite Mexican or Mexican-American musician/band? Is J-lo mexican? :)
3. What is your favorite song by a Mexican or Mexican-American musician/band? "A little bit is better than nada... sometimes you want the whole enchilada..." I'm not really into the song, but that's a catchy line.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Freddy Fender.

Blow me down

In case yall was wondering, I'm still alive. I tried to avoid the cliche "It sounded like a freight train!" It didn't sound anything like a freight train. It was more like just a deep rumble, like when you're about to take off in a plane. It was more of a pain in the ass than anything... like everything else. It has been a shitty year. I got real sick like 3 times, my grandpa died, I got caught up in a tornado, some saw-happy dentist wants to yank out my wisdom teeth, another doctor says I have sleep apnea that's causing my headaches... sometimes I yell 'What's next?' I shouldn't complain, I've had my best friend by my side the entire time, and my daughter keeps me grounded in what's really important. I have gray hairs now. I'll look like Gay-Jesus Anderson Cooper by the end of the year.

PEEEX

I fixed the slideshow to the right of the screen. It has more than one set of pictures. I'll try and add some more. eventually.

Sickness

I have been sick since the beginning of the year. Since then, I have had a stomach virus, a sinus infection and a cold. Between them, I have had a filling put in and a sadistic dental hygenist shove large pieces of metal and plastic in my mouth to take some sort of xray. I'm really just getting tired of all of it.

I was wondering how all this shit in the air gets into peoples' systems the other day... then I saw the answer. Someone brought a bag of candy to work, and put it on the bridge, so everyone can have some. Then all these people came up and stuck their funky fingers in it and got some. I thought, Do I know these peoples' sanitary habits? One of those bitches could have took a piss or nasty shit and not washed their hands. I don't know about yall but filthy vag gummi bears are not my idea of a lovely after-dinner snack. Yet I watch in disgust as people come up and experience gummi-induced euphoria while a buffet of e-coli and dookie careens down their throats.

What are your tips for keeping healthy this cold and flu season? Hit Comments and release your inner Dr. Phil.

I wish U Heaven

Here I am on the dawn of my 35th year. I seemingly have everything I want... but I have become the thing I hate. I fear I am incapable and undeserving of happiness. I fight it everyday. Have you had your plus sign today?

Take that, Prince!