This is hilarious! Light-Saber wielding M&Ms!
M&M'S Chocolate MPire
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Hot Dogs and French Fries
Onesome: Hot Dogs--Spring picnics and cookouts are coming! Is it hot dogs or hamburgers you want to have on your plate as you head back to the table? Hamburgers. I'm not a fan of the lips and assholes. I'm a hardcore carnivore.Twosome: and-- ...and what else is on that plate that you just cannot be without as you work your way through the crowd? Potato salad? One of those huge pickles? Come on, there has to be something! Beans and chips.
Threesome: French Fries-- ...and the real toughie: do you have to have 'fries with that'? ...or will chips do well enough for you. Just curious... Chips are sufficient, but I'd rather french fries or even onion rings.
These are stupid questions, but I feel lacking in my duties if I didn't post something. Do you have a badass recipe or BBQ tip? Hit comments and release your inner Emeril.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Cinerama
1. What is your favorite movie of all time? I've thought about this a lot, and I can't nail it down to one movie. I have a favorite movie in any given genre. Comedy, Drama, Mafia, Music, Sci-Fi, etc. And some movies are good as part of a group. e.g. Kevin Smith's movies are great on their own merits, but taken as a whole are much better.
So for the purposes of this exercise, I'll pick my favorite mafia flick, Francis Ford Coppola's Masterpiece, The Godfather. The movie has everything, sex, violence, profanity, and abuse of a horse head.
2. How often do you watch this movie? About once a year, and whenever its on TV. I watch it enough to recite the words with it.
3. What's your favorite line out of the whole movie? "Keep your friends close... and your enemies closer."
4. Who's your favorite character from this movie? Most people would say Pacino's character, Michael, or Brando's character, Vito. Those are too obvious. My favorite its Sonny Corleone. He's a hothead, he's ruled by emotion, and acts without thinking things through. Its all about instinct. His ole man tries to tell him never to let people know what he's thinking but he's all about the "Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom, you blow his brains all over your Ivy League suit." He even died cool. A car full of dudes fills his car full of holes, and he still gets out to try and get off a few shots. I think I like Sonny because he's the complete opposite of me. I tend to over-analyze things, and I would never beat a guy with a trash can lid."
5. What scene do you love the most? Again, most people would say when the guy wakes up with the horse head in the bed is their favorite, but I disagree. My favorite scene is when Michael goes to visit his father, who had been shot, in the hospital, and finds there's no one guarding him. He immediately enlists the help of the baker's son to pretend to be a gangster so when the guys come to kill his ole man, they'll know he's being protected. I think it showed Michael's prowess as a cool-headed gangster... and his switch from the WWII vet who comes home and promises to make the Corleone family legit.
So for the purposes of this exercise, I'll pick my favorite mafia flick, Francis Ford Coppola's Masterpiece, The Godfather. The movie has everything, sex, violence, profanity, and abuse of a horse head.2. How often do you watch this movie? About once a year, and whenever its on TV. I watch it enough to recite the words with it.
3. What's your favorite line out of the whole movie? "Keep your friends close... and your enemies closer."
4. Who's your favorite character from this movie? Most people would say Pacino's character, Michael, or Brando's character, Vito. Those are too obvious. My favorite its Sonny Corleone. He's a hothead, he's ruled by emotion, and acts without thinking things through. Its all about instinct. His ole man tries to tell him never to let people know what he's thinking but he's all about the "Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom, you blow his brains all over your Ivy League suit." He even died cool. A car full of dudes fills his car full of holes, and he still gets out to try and get off a few shots. I think I like Sonny because he's the complete opposite of me. I tend to over-analyze things, and I would never beat a guy with a trash can lid."5. What scene do you love the most? Again, most people would say when the guy wakes up with the horse head in the bed is their favorite, but I disagree. My favorite scene is when Michael goes to visit his father, who had been shot, in the hospital, and finds there's no one guarding him. He immediately enlists the help of the baker's son to pretend to be a gangster so when the guys come to kill his ole man, they'll know he's being protected. I think it showed Michael's prowess as a cool-headed gangster... and his switch from the WWII vet who comes home and promises to make the Corleone family legit.
How pathetic am I?
| Your Famous Blogger Twin is Wil Wheaton |
 You're a friendly, funny guy (or girl) next door With more than a touch of geekiness |
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Sweet Lincoln's mullet!
The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.What business or career would you consider if you were starting over? What an ironic question. I'd like to write sitcoms, or a movie. Or maybe just do this for a living. (Spewing my "moronic thoughts.") Or be a porn movie reviewer.
-- Nicholas Butler
What's more valuable: beauty or brains? First and foremost, most smart women are beautiful. Besides, looks can go, and if you have nothing else, what good are you? 
Look at that bitch Cybill Shepherd. She was hot as hell in the 80s, then when I run into her, she's a rotten twat. I have a feeling all these chicks like Britney, Lohan, Paris et al will eventually succumb to rampant face lifts or just become old whores... albeit rich old whores, but old tramps nonetheless.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Bush Twins Gone Wild
I have a feeling I'm going to end up on VH1's "I Love The 00s." For the second time in 2 months, a national paper has called upon my keen and unique view for an article:USATODAY.com - TiVo's ripple effect: Water-cooler chill.
And yet I'm still unemployed.
Anywayz, I heard the voicemail tapes of "Insider" host Pat O'Brien. He's in rehab. For some reason, entertainment shows think this is news. Who cares. Mary Hart got a bad case of the shits, but that ain't makin news. Anyway, the tapes are pretty pathetic. He wants this woman and describes in detail what he wants to do to her.
Have you seen this show called "The Shield." Its one of those cop shows that uses the word "shit" just because they can. It got stupid after a while. Its a shame, because the acting and stories are halfway interesting.
That picture of the Bush Twins has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was funny.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Just Shoot Me
1. You know company is coming: do you panic and immediately begin cleaning house or do you sit back and relax because your place is already clean? Clean it up, but the joint don't get too dirty.
2. Which was a bigger surprise for you:
a) Robert Blake was acquitted Yes, this was a surprise. I thought it was so obvious. He may have done the crime, but he ain't gonna do the time.
b) Martha Stewart did jail time I was kinda surprised she did time, I totally expected her high-priced lawyers to get her off. In the end, her fellow inmates got her off.
c) Scott Peterson was sentenced to death Not surprised by this. This arrogant prick deserves to fry. I think if the two weren't good-looking white people, nobody would have heard of this story. I was surprised by the death sentence, but not the guilty plea. I figured he'd get life... more than his pregnant wife and their unborn son got.
d) The Michael Jackson trial began at all I'm not surprised. He's an easy target. Just like in the schoolyard, the queer black kid's gonna get picked on. I wasn't there at neverland when this stuff allegedly went on, but it sure as hell don't surprise me. I don't think he actually molested those kids. I think Michael's sexual growth was stunted at a young age, and therefore his sense of right and wrong is skewed. I'm sure in his mind, he was just being playful and some innocent touching. His world is so out of whack, that's OK.
3. What was in the last package you received in the mail? My sexy lil capture card. I'm a TiVo'ing fool now. No $149 TiVo plus subscription fees for me. It cost me a whole $20!
4. What commercial annoys you the most at the moment? That stupid commercial with Sarah Jessica Parker. I know they didn't make that commercial to appeal to me, a straight man. I'm sure gays and women think she's peachy keen. I think she's annoying, and has a horse-face. The Hootie Burger King commercial used to annoy me, but the song has grown on me, and I find myself humming it all day long. I even fell into Hootie's trap and went to BK to purchase this wonderful Hootieburger. The stupid fucking Marietta BK didn't have them! They were out! Is the marketing power of Hootie that powerful? Is his pimp hand so strong that he can cause a run on tendercrips bacon cheddar ranch sammiches... despite being dressed like a gay Roy Rogers? Apparently so.
If I'm ever in a vegetative state, please put a Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Chicken Sandwich in my feeding tube.
5. What charity was the last one to call you to solicit a donation? Did you give them money? Why or why not? It was a scam charity called "Kid's Wish." They apparently thought people would think it was the 'Make-A-Wish" foundation and pull out their credit cards. I asked the woman if they were affiliated, just to see what she'd say, and without missing a beat she says, "We do similar work, helping children." I can usually spot a scam a mile away.
6. What common household product do you hate to run out of the most? Sinus Tablets. I take them so often that I run out. and Quesadilla ingredients.
2. Which was a bigger surprise for you:
a) Robert Blake was acquitted Yes, this was a surprise. I thought it was so obvious. He may have done the crime, but he ain't gonna do the time.
b) Martha Stewart did jail time I was kinda surprised she did time, I totally expected her high-priced lawyers to get her off. In the end, her fellow inmates got her off.
c) Scott Peterson was sentenced to death Not surprised by this. This arrogant prick deserves to fry. I think if the two weren't good-looking white people, nobody would have heard of this story. I was surprised by the death sentence, but not the guilty plea. I figured he'd get life... more than his pregnant wife and their unborn son got.
d) The Michael Jackson trial began at all I'm not surprised. He's an easy target. Just like in the schoolyard, the queer black kid's gonna get picked on. I wasn't there at neverland when this stuff allegedly went on, but it sure as hell don't surprise me. I don't think he actually molested those kids. I think Michael's sexual growth was stunted at a young age, and therefore his sense of right and wrong is skewed. I'm sure in his mind, he was just being playful and some innocent touching. His world is so out of whack, that's OK.
3. What was in the last package you received in the mail? My sexy lil capture card. I'm a TiVo'ing fool now. No $149 TiVo plus subscription fees for me. It cost me a whole $20!
4. What commercial annoys you the most at the moment? That stupid commercial with Sarah Jessica Parker. I know they didn't make that commercial to appeal to me, a straight man. I'm sure gays and women think she's peachy keen. I think she's annoying, and has a horse-face. The Hootie Burger King commercial used to annoy me, but the song has grown on me, and I find myself humming it all day long. I even fell into Hootie's trap and went to BK to purchase this wonderful Hootieburger. The stupid fucking Marietta BK didn't have them! They were out! Is the marketing power of Hootie that powerful? Is his pimp hand so strong that he can cause a run on tendercrips bacon cheddar ranch sammiches... despite being dressed like a gay Roy Rogers? Apparently so.
If I'm ever in a vegetative state, please put a Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Chicken Sandwich in my feeding tube.
5. What charity was the last one to call you to solicit a donation? Did you give them money? Why or why not? It was a scam charity called "Kid's Wish." They apparently thought people would think it was the 'Make-A-Wish" foundation and pull out their credit cards. I asked the woman if they were affiliated, just to see what she'd say, and without missing a beat she says, "We do similar work, helping children." I can usually spot a scam a mile away.
6. What common household product do you hate to run out of the most? Sinus Tablets. I take them so often that I run out. and Quesadilla ingredients.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
Listen To The Funk Flow
Looking to hear some cool tunes? Now you can listen toThe Chas Chronicles Radio! Its got funk, classic rock and some other stuff. Yahoo throws the songs at me, I take 'em and share them with you. So you shouldn't have to hear some crappy Britney Spears or any other dumb shit. If I had a ton of free bandwidth, I'd stream MP3s, but I don't cuz I'm running this web site for zero dollars (minus the domain name). Try out the radio link, and lemme know what you think. I don't think it works with firefox, so make sure you have IE, which most of you do, unless you're on a shitty mac or something. Hit comments and release your inner Casey Kasem.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
More stolen stills from the new Star Wars movie!
We have a mole within the George Lucas camp... who got us yet another still from the new movie, "Revenge Of The Sith"!
This movie is shaping up to be much better than the last two valiant attempts.
This movie is shaping up to be much better than the last two valiant attempts.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
...in other words...
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
-- Henry Adams
1. Would you rather: be responsible for an oil tanker crash off the coast of alaska OR cause a rebellion in a developing nation? The oil tanker, fewer people would die. Tough shit for the animals.
2. get locked out of your house while naked OR throw up all over yourself in the middle of an important meeting? Throw up in a meeting, at least that way there's a chance my crappy co-workers would get sick too.
3. wake up to find your feet have grown two sizes OR hair all over your back that grows back every night? My feet, size 12 shoes aren't that weird.
4. eat nothing but cheese for a week OR only chinese food for two months? Chinese food. At least it would be different food.
Monday, March 14, 2005
I'm gonna go friggin nuts
Ok, I read about that pig Rosie O'Donnell commenting on her website about stuff. This poem made me throw up my quesadilla:
And on the Mario American Idol thing... I'm sick of hearing about this douche. Who cares? Some idiot quits his only chance of stardom, and its news? People suck.
How much you wanna bet he's spinning Elton John and Michael Bolton CDs?
I'm in a pissy mood.
michael jackson in his pj's made me cryA multi-pack? She needs a rolled up army blanket and 17 tree-shaped air freshners.
why has mario quit american idol?
the shick intuition razor is the best invention
since the tampon multi-pack
And on the Mario American Idol thing... I'm sick of hearing about this douche. Who cares? Some idiot quits his only chance of stardom, and its news? People suck.
How much you wanna bet he's spinning Elton John and Michael Bolton CDs?I'm in a pissy mood.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
The Ole College Try
Since college basketballs been on and I've been writing and re-writing my resume, these answers were fresh in my mind.
1) Did you go to college? Yes, University Of Texas - Pan American. I got a BA in Broadcast Journalism.
2) Did you live in a dorm or an apartment? Not when I went to UTPA, but I did when I went to Nicholls State. It was an experience. Everyone should live in the dorms at least for one year of their college career. There was drinking, studying, and umm more drinking. It was cool to just pop your door open and somebody stop by to chat with you for a while. Both schools I went to were small, which was good.
3) Who was your favorite roommate? Bruno, he was like a big brother, and he was a fraternity brother as well.
4) What is your favorite college sport? Partying.
5) Who was your favorite professor and class? All of my journalism and TV classes were great. There were only 2 strictly TV professors. The rest were theater or speech professors who were kind enough to teach us TV flunkies.
While we're on the subject, there are 2, only only 2, good movies about fraternities: Animal House and Revenge Of The Nerds.
There are also two, and only 2, good movies about golf: Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore.
Agree? Disagree? What was your favorite lines from those flicks?
Hit comments and release your inner Belushi.
1) Did you go to college? Yes, University Of Texas - Pan American. I got a BA in Broadcast Journalism. 2) Did you live in a dorm or an apartment? Not when I went to UTPA, but I did when I went to Nicholls State. It was an experience. Everyone should live in the dorms at least for one year of their college career. There was drinking, studying, and umm more drinking. It was cool to just pop your door open and somebody stop by to chat with you for a while. Both schools I went to were small, which was good.
3) Who was your favorite roommate? Bruno, he was like a big brother, and he was a fraternity brother as well.
4) What is your favorite college sport? Partying.
5) Who was your favorite professor and class? All of my journalism and TV classes were great. There were only 2 strictly TV professors. The rest were theater or speech professors who were kind enough to teach us TV flunkies.
While we're on the subject, there are 2, only only 2, good movies about fraternities: Animal House and Revenge Of The Nerds.There are also two, and only 2, good movies about golf: Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore.
Agree? Disagree? What was your favorite lines from those flicks?
Hit comments and release your inner Belushi.
Stolen Stills From The New Star Wars Movie!!
I usually don't like pre-Star Wars Movie hype, but...
George Lucas is just wrong fuh dat!
George Lucas is just wrong fuh dat!
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Geraldo Visits Where Success Lives
What a weird day. I wake up to news that the guy who killed a judge and two deputies, and managed to elude the largest manhunt in Georgia history, was holding some chick hostage IN MY APARTMENT COMPLEX. Its a weird feeling when you put on Fox News Channel and see Geraldo Rivera doing a report from the front of your shitty subdivision, and then aerials of said complex. What next?
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