More of my bullshit

Who is your favorite Beatle? Not that I have one, but I would pick John.
What is one of your favorite Beatle songs? Key word there is "one of," because I have so many. The whole 2nd side of Abbey Road, Most of the White Album, and all of Rubber Soul.
Best/Worst cover of a Beatles song How about I show you:

Best song by a Beatle after the breakup "Imagine." bar none. Well maybe "Back Off Bugaloo." Just kidding :) "Imagine" sums up perfectly hope for a better world amid so much turmoil. Lennon was talking about early 70s turmoil, which is different than the current day turmoil, which is different than future turmoil. Despite that, the words fit perfect. As a writer, you hope your words are timeless and enduring. Very few songs resonate like "Imagine" in that respect. Prince's "Sign O' The Times" comes close. Also, Paul McCartney had a string of great solo tunes as well. "Live And Let Die," and "Maybe I'm Amazed" are among the best. Both of those sound amazing live. I put those tunes in the playlist, hit play on the cassette to the right to hear them.
Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both? Absolutely not. When you're running your mouth, you can't absorb anything. I am a listener, I don't talk much. You can get more information that way. Ben Franklin I think once said, "The ear should be sharper than the tongue."
Do you think God has a sense of humor? Aw hell yeah. I am living proof!
Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it? Yes and yes.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Lance Brumder.

At The Movies

After watching the Academy Awards some months ago, I decided I would use my knowledge of the internet's backroads to watch some of these honored flicks in an effort to be more cultured. Since then, I've seen some of the movies that got the most buzz. I don't know if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominating committees were watching the same movies, but the ones I've watched... suck.
Here now is my rundown of a few movies that Oscar cheered, but Chas kinda jeered:
Juno: Won for best original screenplay, the only win of its 4 nominations. Slang-slinging teen misfit learns life lessons while pregnant. The writing was pretty good, despite trying to crow-bar in the teenspeak. The acting was well-done, but the story just kinda dragged. The music to me sounded all the same. I think they hired the first granola chick at the local liberal arts college who played guitar to shit out a few songs. At the end I was just thinking, "So what?"
There Will Be Blood: Won two of its eight Oscar nods, one for best actor Daniel Day Lewis, and the other for best cinematography. There will be boredom. By the end of the 6-to-7 hour movie I was going to demand my money back. I couldn't exaclty do that, so I was going to find Paul Thomas Anderson and waste 6-to-7 hours of his life. Maybe ask him Dirk Diggler questions. I should've known better after watching two of his other movies, "Magnolia" and "Punch Drunk Love." They both sucked major ass. Anyway, the plot on this clunker went nowhere: a Sleazy oilman and his son shiester a small town. I was pleading with the movie gods to please make something happen. It just dragged on and on and on. The dialogue was sparse, and not compelling. The characters had moments where they were interesting, but the momentum then fizzled. For example, the soft-spoken preacher guy was pretty boring the whole movie, then all of a sudden he's this charasmatic evangelist who was healing in the church. I was left thinking, 'where the hell did that come from?' And contrary to popular belief, Daniel Day Lewis can't cover up his british accent. He just sounds fake in this and in "Gangs of New York." I don't know why Hollywood swings on this guy's nuts... or the nuts of this film.
Sicko: Nominated for best documentary feature. I like Michael Moore, but this thing was a fill-in-the-blank documentary for him. It gave a little more credence to his critics who say you can slant something to make it look however you want. Plus it was so anti-American it made my stomach turn. Don't phone it in Mike, you're better than that.
Michael Clayton: Tilda Swinton Won Best Supporting Actress for the film, the only winner among its 6 nominations. Good film, however it's not without its flaws. It's way too long, and the dialogue just drags and drags. Too much needless conversation. Overall the movie was engaging, and kept me interested until the end. That Tilda Sinton woman who got the Oscar was barely in it, and I didn't think her performance was anything special... and she kinda freaked me out cuz she's reminds me of those old concentration camp newsreels. George Clooney should've gotten an Oscar for this film.
American Gangster: Nominated for best art direction and Ruby Dee was nominated for best supporting actress Good film, lots of action. I like gangster films, and this fits in well with the classics. Denzel should've been nominated here. You can see the anger that's boiling just below his cool exterior, and when it blows, it's spectacular. It had a happy ending that I thought was a bit cheezy. Russell Crowe CANNOT do a Jersey accent. It's just impossible. He should stick to gladiator movies. The writing was good and the character development was good as well. I agree with the art direction nod, everything in it looked like the 70s and early 80s. The cars, the clothes, etc. They looked like that era, but not too cliche. I don't get the Ruby Dee nomination, she was barely in it, and she plays the same old lady she's been playing since 'Do The Right Thing.'
BONUS: 2006 FILM I SAW LAST NIGHT:
Little Miss Sunshine: Won two of four nominations: Best screenplay and Alan Arkin won best supporting actor. Imagine if you got the most boring professor you had in college, then told him to remake "National Lampoon's Vacation." You would get "Little Miss Sunshine." A hapless dad takes his know-it-all wife, weird kids, and strange family members on a cross-country trip in a silly vehicle. Can't miss, huh? Oh yeah. I chuckled exactly 3 times in this movie. The only bright spot is Alan Arkin's cursing grandpa (the Aunt Edna of the trip, he even dies halfway through like Aunt Edna!). But you get no sense of why he's an old coot. The characters' exposition should weave into the story... but it doesn't. I think by the end of a movie, the characters should have changed in some way. In this movie, they did... and that's the one good thing I can say about it.

Now my usual caveat, this is my opinion I welcome yours, hell, I'm pleading for it! Hit comments and release your inner Peter Travers.

Back In Black

1. Who's the black sheep in your family? In my immediate family there's only 3 of us, so nobody. In my whole family, it would be my brother. He always ummm "did his own thing."
2. Do you take your coffee black? Nope. I put tons of cream and sugar. I need it smooth and full of caffeine.
3. Do you own a Blackberry? Nah, I don't need to be that in touch. I would get one if it didn't cost extra on your phone plan or if they gave me one at work. I asked for one, they said I didn't need one, and that they were not going to give me one just to play with. Overall, I'm enamored with gadgets, and I fight back the urge to get one just for the sake of having it.
4. Which black forest would you rather eat - cake or ham? Cake, definitely cake. Ham is good, but it ain't cake.
5. Have you ever had a black eye? Nope, I'm a lover not a fighter.

See Ya George

George Carlin died yesterday. I'm kinda sad. I met him once in December 2004 at a book signing. He was a dick to me. I walked up and said, "Hi, I'm Chas" as I handed him my book, to which he replied, "I don't personalize nothin!" Then when I asked if I could take a picture with him he said, "Sure, but I usually don't look up." As you can see, he didn't look up. Then I got home and started reading the book. It sucked. Why would I say less than flattering things about a guy who just died? Because George was a "call it like you see it" kind of guy, and would want no less. If someone is a dick, call them a dick... not a "personality-challenged individual." Just listen.
Despite that one bad experience, I have loved his comedy since the early 80s when, as an impressionble youth, would watch his HBO specials. Even as a kid I liked him because he not only made you laugh, he also made you think. Godspeed funnyman.

The story of my life

If you're at work, you'll wanna turn the sound down.
You're doing your best, working you ass off, then a bug flies into your mouth.
Wait, that was wrong.

More of these things that you guys keep telling me you loooove!

1. How many days a week, on average, do you eat breakfast? I eat breakfast every day. Six days a week its toast to go, cuz I don't have time to eat.
2. If you eat a breakfast that involves actual cooking, what are most likely to prepare for yourself? Every once in a while I'll fry a couple of eggs.
3. If you eat a breakfast that requires no cooking, what are you most likely to choose for yourself? Toast, cereal, sometimes instant oatmeal.
4. Take the quiz: What Kind of Cereal Are You?

You Are Cheerios

Like other Cheerios eaters, you want to be a responsible adult. But you can't help but still be a kid at heart! You try to make good decisions. You're a clean cut, conscientious person. You're the type of person who would never skip breakfast. Part of you thinks that breakfast is too important to miss... But a bigger part of you knows it's too fun to miss!

What Kind of Cereal Are You?

That's funny, cuz I don't like Cheerios.
5. When you eat pancakes, how many do you typically place in a stack?4
6. How do you like your pancakes: with butter/margarine or without, and what flavor of syrup? Butter and regular ole maple syrup.
What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Tony the Tiger.

Word Association

The first song/artist/album that comes to mind when you see these colors:
Pink: Aerosmith's tune of that name.
Purple: Rain
Blue: -s Brothers
White: Lines (old school rap song)
Gold: Band Of..
Silver: Maxwell's Hammer, The Beatles
Green: Day
Yellow: Submarine, The Beatles
Red: 99 Balloons
Brown: James,the Godfather of Soul

I added these songs to the playlist, hit play on the cassette to the right for more badass JamZ, then hit comments and leave your favorite color songs/artist/album and release your inner Barry White or Jackson Brown.

its 5 am.

Hey teens.
I know it has been quite some time since I have posted. Why? I dunno.
I started a new job, got a new car, and my baby is about to turn 3. I went on a cruise and I hate the bahamas. Life is what you make of it. I'll try and be more attentive.

1. What was your most memorable moment in school? In high school it was driving to school and showing up wearing my cool Girbaud or Cavariccis. Then I graduated and I realized I wasn't cool. I hated high school. In college, it was becoming the 'teacher's pet' cuz I was a freaking journalistic genius. Then I graduated and realized I wasn't a genius.
2. What was your favorite subject in school? My writing classes and the classes on computers. Back then, classes with computers were considered "high tech."
3. Did you participate in any extracurricular activities? Nope. I hated school and wanted to leave ASAP. I worked. That was my extracurricular activity. I fried chicken for the Colonel and filled up a trough at Golden Corral.
4. If you could go back in time and give your school-age self some advice, what would you say? Participate in extracurricular activities, not because they'll help you later in life, but because they might make you hate school less.

1. What is your favorite song about or mentioning Mexico? "...but it's a real beauty, a mexican cutie. How it got here I haven't a clue."
2. What is your favorite Mexican or Mexican-American musician/band? Is J-lo mexican? :)
3. What is your favorite song by a Mexican or Mexican-American musician/band? "A little bit is better than nada... sometimes you want the whole enchilada..." I'm not really into the song, but that's a catchy line.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Freddy Fender.

Blow me down

In case yall was wondering, I'm still alive. I tried to avoid the cliche "It sounded like a freight train!" It didn't sound anything like a freight train. It was more like just a deep rumble, like when you're about to take off in a plane. It was more of a pain in the ass than anything... like everything else. It has been a shitty year. I got real sick like 3 times, my grandpa died, I got caught up in a tornado, some saw-happy dentist wants to yank out my wisdom teeth, another doctor says I have sleep apnea that's causing my headaches... sometimes I yell 'What's next?' I shouldn't complain, I've had my best friend by my side the entire time, and my daughter keeps me grounded in what's really important. I have gray hairs now. I'll look like Gay-Jesus Anderson Cooper by the end of the year.

PEEEX

I fixed the slideshow to the right of the screen. It has more than one set of pictures. I'll try and add some more. eventually.

Sickness

I have been sick since the beginning of the year. Since then, I have had a stomach virus, a sinus infection and a cold. Between them, I have had a filling put in and a sadistic dental hygenist shove large pieces of metal and plastic in my mouth to take some sort of xray. I'm really just getting tired of all of it.

I was wondering how all this shit in the air gets into peoples' systems the other day... then I saw the answer. Someone brought a bag of candy to work, and put it on the bridge, so everyone can have some. Then all these people came up and stuck their funky fingers in it and got some. I thought, Do I know these peoples' sanitary habits? One of those bitches could have took a piss or nasty shit and not washed their hands. I don't know about yall but filthy vag gummi bears are not my idea of a lovely after-dinner snack. Yet I watch in disgust as people come up and experience gummi-induced euphoria while a buffet of e-coli and dookie careens down their throats.

What are your tips for keeping healthy this cold and flu season? Hit Comments and release your inner Dr. Phil.

I wish U Heaven

Here I am on the dawn of my 35th year. I seemingly have everything I want... but I have become the thing I hate. I fear I am incapable and undeserving of happiness. I fight it everyday. Have you had your plus sign today?

Take that, Prince!

Bells will be ringing...

What Christmas means to me...

"Rhymes so loud and proud you hear it, it's Christmas time, and we got the spirit. The time is now, the place is here to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."


"The silent majesty of a winter's morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air . . . an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer."


Remember... It's OK to say Merry Christmas.
Hit "comments" and release your inner Clark Griswold.

Brothas gonna work it out

1. what was your worst job? why? You tend to forget the bad times at your past jobs, but right now, its WSB. Its amazing you can work at the #1 station in the market, and one of the strongest stations in the country, and still hate it. I guess they got to number one by treating people like numbers. Just a warm body to fill a spot. I have so much resentment and bad feelings built up from my time there. I also had shit jobs like KFC and Golden Corral, but you take those at face value... a high school/college job, not really your career.

2. what was your best job? why? CNN. Every-fucking-thing. My co-workers are great, the money's good, the benefits are phenomenal. I always give thanks to uncle Ted.

3. are you looking for a new job now? Nope, and I pray I won't ever have to again. I've been in that desperate situation before. Too qualified for some jobs in your field, and underqualified for the better ones.

4. when did you get the job you have now? if you're unemployed, how long have you been without a job? I've been here about 2 years.

5. have you ever been fired from a job? what happened? Just once. My "business relationship" with a certain bottom-dwelling station ended because the piece of shit station couldn't afford to keep a morning show afloat, so they laid off everyone involved with it, plus a few others. Now, their ratings have never been lower! Good for them. In the words of John Lennon, "Time wounds all heels."

6. have you ever had a horrible, back-stabbing colleague? Hello? I work in TV.

7. have you heard of or ever been involved in a an office scandal at your work? Nope, why put a target on your back. Keep your nose clean, and do your job and go home. Keep your personal shit out of work. If we're friends outside of work, let me help you with your problems, but if we just happen to work at the same place... keep yo shit to yo sef.

8. what's your dream job? Producing at ET, extra or one of those cheezy entertainment shows.

1. Considering your political views now versus seven years ago, do you think they have changed or remained the same? Yeah. Pre-9/11 I had a small interest in politics, mainly because of my job. Post-9/11, there are Americans dying, here and abroad, and that changed things for me. After the Iraq War started my view of the President changed altogether. When 9/11 happened, and the president said "go travel, help the economy," I took a trip. I looked to him as a leader. He betrayed me and all those who died that day.

2. Should a president be allowed to run for a third term? Not a consecutive one. If they're so good, they could sit out one term, then run again.

3. Do you think a president would be able to accomplish more if he could only be elected to a single term?
Nope. Besides the war, the president doesn't stay one one item that long anyway. What happened to the failing social security system? Is it back to being OK now? What about that big wall that was going to keep all the Messikans out? To me that's evidence that the issues are just notches on an agenda. To hell with the lives that are affected.

4. Take the quiz: Which political group most agrees with you? Well, I knew that I'm closest to the Libertarians because their approach to government is the same that your mama taught you as a kid: "Do what you want, just don't hit your sister." In all fairness, that quiz is hosted on a Libertarian website, so I assume most of those 8 questions will point you in that direction. I do agree with them that both Republicans and Democrats are fundamentally flawed, and neither has the answer to everything. And just from my own discussions with people, I believe the majority of Americans are fiscally conservative and socially moderate. Issues like gay marriage, evolution and flag burning are good for nothing but polarizing people. They're just more fodder for Rush and O'Reilly to call people hippies or for the liberals to call someone a religious zealot.

5. Can you imagine ever running for office? With the plethora of skeletons in my closet? Sheeeit. Seriously, I could never run for office because the main job of a politician is to hold out his hand and ask for money *before* they do a job that they can't guarantee they'll get done. Imagine walking into a McDonalds and giving them $5 for your Extra Value Meal and the pimply-faced teen replying, "I'll try my best to get that for you. No guarantee you'll get it. If you don't get it, blame those fuckers in the back, not me."

6. Let’s suppose that you were a candidate, and that you found some real dirt that no one else knew about your opponent. If that candidate started a negative campaign against you, how tempted would you be to use that information? Depends on the opponent. I'd pull him aside and let him know I have the info. Then he would have to a)acknowledge it publicly himself, trying to control the spin or b)tone down his negative campaigning or c)be a punk bitch and feel my wrath.

"Drink wine... This is life eternal... This is all that youth will give you... It is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends... Be happy for this moment... This moment is your life."

Prince hates other people's kids too!

Not only does Prince hate my kid, he hates 230,000 other people's kids as well. A mother got the same email I did accusing her of violating Prince's copyright by playing it in the background while her toddler dances. Of course she was smart enough to sue. I just bitched about it on my stupid blog. I ought to get in on the suit and try and recoup some of the thousands of dollars I have spent over the years on cds, albums, 12" singles, concert tickets, and whatever other music the dude put out. I have been buying the guy's music since I was 12 years old. I wonder if he'll sue me over my groom's cake:

Next time I'll play Ready For the World when I want to shoot video of my little girl. What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Morris Day.
p.s. more wedding pics.

First Pics From The Wedding 9-30-07

Abby Getting Ready:


I am truly blessed. Look at my beautiful wife and daughter. I don't know what I did to deserve such wonderful women in my life.

The wedding was wonderful, the weather that day was perfect, I got to spend time with my dear friends and family... and ate some amazing food.

All I can say is.. ya shoulda been there!

Say Anything

1. How different is your speech pattern among your friends versus a stranger you’d meet on the street? Very, though I don't talk much, I speak in 3 word sentences to strangers. It makes them wonder about you.

2. How often do you get asked where you’re from based on your accent? Rarely, every once in a while I will say something like a "YAT" from New Orleans. I don't really have much of an accent, of course everyone says that!

3. What word or phrase said by newscasters is your biggest pet peeve? I write news for a living, so when I hear bad writing or an anchor use a cliche, its like fingernails across a chalkboard. The first two that come to mind is hearing "completely destroyed." That is wrong. It is either destroyed or it ain't. The other is "behind bars." Just say the fucking guy is in jail. I got about a million more, but I can't think of any more right now. Hit comments and add your own.

4. Take the quiz: How good at grammar are you? I write for a living, though you wouldn't know it from the ebonics mixed with bullshit I spew here!

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

5. How often do you look up a word in a dictionary, either online or print? Every while in a once, not a lot. Most programs I use have a spell checker on it, and i'm a decent speller.

6. How many books or guides on grammar do you currently own? Maybe 2.

Turn your head and cough.

when was the last time you...

1. went to the doctor? why did you have to go? My seasonal visit for a sinus infection. Between Atlanta's crappy air and the germs Abby brings home from day care I'm surprised I don't go more than 4 times a year!

2. had surgery? for what? can't say

3. visited someone in the hospital? who was it? Around September of 2005, Abby was 3 months old and had a UTI. She, of course, couldn't tell us that so she had to go through a shitload of tests at Children's Hospital of Atlanta. The doctor was so worried that she called an Ambulance to bring us there. Imagine driving 40 miles in the back of an Ambulance with your 3-month old child that is sick for an unknown reason. If I can think of the worst moment in my life... that was it.

4. took a prescription medication? for what? the aforementioned sinus infection.

5. injured any part of your body? what were you doing? I fractured my coccyx. I fell down the stairs at my house. The stairs that I walk up and down 50 times a day. There's no ass cast, so I just had to endure the pain.

6. ate something that gave you food poisoning? what was it? Not that I know of...

7. had a cold/allergies? I never had allergies until I came to Atlanta.

8. did NOT heed a doctor's advice? what did you ignore/do differently? "Go on a diet and exercise."

Lazy Saturday

Happy Weekend, my nubian brothers and sisters,
I've been working non-stop for the last month. and before that it was 6-day weeks. This weekend I'm getting Sunday and Monday off. What a concept. It caps off what has been a shitty week. Right now, I'm physically at work, and that's about it. The Little League college world series is on, and I'm more interested in that than work. This, despite the fact that I like neither baseball nor little league sports. So without further ado, here are those things y'all keep asking for.

1. What is the most unlucky thing that has happened to you all week? I asked a bank for money.

2. Do bad things happen more often to good people or bad people? Bad things happen to bad people. While what makes them bad is always subject to argument, everything happens for a reason. That's not to say bad things don't always happen to good people, just not as often, and we pay more attention to it. And often times we think the people are good and righteous, then it comes out that they did bad stuff to deserve their fate. That's right, I'm looking at you Mr. Vick.

3. How much do you believe that you can improve your outlook in life (from a “fate” perspective) by doing good deeds and correcting past wrongs? Your outlook on life has very little to do with your past deeds. This is a stupid question. I believe you can have the appearance of righting past wrongs, but they're there no matter what. What if OJ cured cancer? What if Hitler brokered peace in the middle east?

4. Take the quiz: What will happen to you in the future? This quiz is as stupid as the last question, I won't even acknowledge it.

5. Do you believe in fate, coincidence, or both? Both. They happen independently of each other. You can change your fate, but coincidences happen without anyone doing anything to cause them. If me and some crackhead whore both bought a pack of Big Red gum at the same Citgo station in lovely Southwest Atlanta at the same time, its a coincidence. If I were to beat her up and steal that aforementioned Big Red pack, it would be her fate not to have that gum. Not that I advocate beating women, or selling crack, or prostitution, or even chewing gum. I'm just saying... you can change fate, not a coincidence.

6. Overall, when “bad things” happen, how often do you believe the victim generally “had it coming?” Most of the time.

Just remember... there are two kinds of people in the world... and you're one of them.

1. Quiet evening at home or Out on the town?: Home, its closer to the bed and TV.
2. Watch a movie or Reading a good book?: Is Hemingway dead?
3. Order a meal or Cooking one yourself?: Order it... I can't make special sauce or french fries... And I don't have a Henny Penny to make KFC Original Recipe Chicken.
4. Going for a walk or Taking a ride in the car?: The car. Walking is soooo last year.

1. You are driving down a lonely road at night when in front of you, you see __________?: Don Rickles

2. You stop the car and get out to __________?: Insult him.

3. In the background you hear __________?: The Godfather theme

4. You return to your car and __________?: Eat the Cannolis.