Weird Wednesday

1. Why does Santa bring presents? He brings presents so parents will have a reason to buy stuff. Santa himself brings the gifts because the FedEx guy doesn't have all his teeth.
2. Why isn't rooves the plural of roof? Its a contractual deal with the Roofers Union. Don't mess with the union.
3. Why do too many cooks spoil the broth? Would too many accountants also spoil the broth? And if so, how many accountants is too many? Too many cooks spoil the broth because they all want to put shit in it. Accountants would also spoil the broth because they would be too concerned with the numbers and the recipe. It doesn't allow for flair, which is why too many cooks spoil the broth, they'll put too much flair in it. As for how many accountants are too many... well its the exact same number of buttons on a TGI Friday's uniform.

4. In American football, why does the center have to snap the ball to the quarterback? Why doesn't the quarterback just start with the ball? Again, talk to the union. If the center didn't have his hands on the balls, what would they do?

5. Compare and contrast the food turkey with the country Turkey. Turkey the food contains Tryptofan, and people in Turkey trip on fans. Turkey the food is browned before being served, Turkey the country is served by Brown, aka U.P.S. Turkey the food makes good sandwiches the day after, people in Turkey make good sandwiches.