Elvis Crossed Jabba For The Last Time

The Music Memoirs

Name your three favorite songs from the 90's.These are random songs I liked in the 90s:
1) BBD-"Poison." It was da shit when it came out. Every brutha rockin' a high-top fade doing the running man would be singin' this tune.
2) Jesus Jones "Right Here Right Now." It was popular when I was graduating high school. I thought it was cool because it was about things happening in the world at that moment, and I was feeling the same way. The fall of Communism, the 1st Gulf War, Seinfeld.
3+)Jane's Addiction - "Been Caught Stealing", REM - "Losing My Religion" and RHCP - "Under The Bridge." and of course, "Smells like teen spirit." They all remind me of starting college. They played those damn songs over and over in the dorm. At least the white kids did.
Name your three favorite artists from the 90's. Prince of course, Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg, and umm Rico Suave. If they were any good in the 90s, they'd still be around in this century.
Name your three favorite albums released in the 90's. "The Chronic," Snoop Dogg's first album, and ummm that's about it. I discovered MP3s in 1995, so that ended my CD buying, unless it was something really good.

Name...
1. Two types of music you dislike most?Country & Opera
2. Two types of food you dislike most? High-Fiber foods, and umm that's about it.
3. Two types of TV programming you dislike most (reality, sitcoms, dramas, etc.) ? I can't stand reality TV, and any most news talk shows on Fox News Channel.
4. Two celebrities you dislike most? Only 2? Bill O'Reilly and Oprah. Celine Dion comes in at a close third.

5. Two conversation topics you dislike most (politics, family, employment, etc.) ? Politics, definately. Because you're either a brainwashed follower, or a radical hippie. There's never a way to end the conversation unless one of you changes point of view to the other's. Either that or you're just preaching to the choir. And most people who talk about politics think they know everything, and they're usually full of shit. It makes those of us who do know everything look bad.

Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a Champagne Supernova.

Hit comments and release your inner Katie Couric. I even took that spam blocker thing off for you.

Prince In Atlanta 3/16/06

The Next thang fo yo Escalade...

Those spinning rims are so 2002! You need a digital display on your rims. Forget the spinners: pimp rims go high-tech. I think they're incredibly tacky, but damn if they aren't neat to look at.

Maybe if a company was to provide me with the rims, I'd advertise their wares. How cool would it be to have your rims sport a digital viagra logo or an ad for the new Vince Vaughn movie, "I'm a 38 Year Old man child, but I'll change my ways for this hot piece of ass." Co-starring one of the Wilson brothers and at least one cast member from Anchorman. But I digress...

I think as long as people keep making their cars look like Mardi Gras floats, someone will create something tacky to put on it. What happened to the days when you could just slap some rims on a mini truck and put some of those double-windshield-wipers and some AutoZone stickers on the side and call it pimped?

On all those "Pimp My Ride" shows, not once have you seen them put the most practical innovation in a car: a toilet. How cool would it be to hit a button on the steering wheel, and the bottom of the seat opens up, to reveal a toilet? You could put a toilet paper holder on the center console, and a some Purell to sanitize your hands afterwards. Then when you flush, the poo and pee is converted to fuel, which saves you gas money. Then automatically, your choice of 3 refreshing scents are sprayed into the car: Cherry, New Car, or Vanilla. You could theoretically eat a big breakfast that included some high-fiber cereal, and drive from LA to New York without stopping to refuel or use the bathroom. Just bring along some granola to keep the "fuel flowing."

Why am I the only one to think of these things?

What would be your dream upgrade if your car got pimped? Hit comments and release your inner Xzibit.

Yet another reason to hate Nascar

So this weekend I was supposed to see my first Nascar race. Not that I give two shits about racing, but my Dad got 4 free tickets, I figured what the hell, its free. So my parents come in town, check into the hotel that came along with the tickets (it was a package deal). The night before the race my Dad says, "The last bus leaves here for 8, so be here about 7:30." 7 am rolls around, and my ass is still in bed. I only had like 5 hours of sleep the night before because I had to work 430-Noon. So my Dad's pissed because I'm probably going to miss the bus, and I'm pissed because I want to go back to bed, and I'm getting stressed about an event I don't care about. My Dad had reason to be pissed, it was supposed to be him, me and my brother going together. My brother decided he wasn't going to go the night before, because he had a bad cold, and wasn't going to go sit in the cold rain with 120,000 inbreds watching cars go around and around for 4 hours. So here it is 7:30, I'm hauling ass down 285 to get to the hotel so I can get on the bus with my Dad. I get there with 10 minutes to spare, and I call my dad. He thought I was going to meet him at the speedway, so he was already on the bus... with the tickets. After careful consideration I say enough is enough and tell him to enjoy the race, I'm spending the day with my brother's family and my mom. So my Dad's at the speedway trying to make the best of it. He finds his seat, buys a cap so it won't rain on him, eats an overpriced hamburger and then they cancel the damn race due to rain. He's cold and wet and the only cars he saw were in the parking lot. I felt bad for him, but I was dry, and didn't have to wait in line behind Cletus for hours just to take a piss. Dad hasn't talked to me since. :)

Now share your thoughts on this stupid pastime.

The Music Memoirs

Name your three favourite artists from the 1960's. The Beatles, The Stones, Hendrix.
Name your three favourite albums released in the 1960's. Let It Be, Abbey Road, Rubber Soul
Name your three favourite songs from the 1960's. Gimme Shelter, most Beatles Stuff, The Weight

I'm back from Hiatus. Still getting my shit together. Drop me a line, etc.

Hiatus

I'm on hiatus for a few days, getting my shit together.

Thank God For The FCC...

CollegeHumor Movie: Best of Jimmy Kimmel's Unnecessary Censorship.

Monday Music Mambo

1. What's your favorite movie about music? Purple Rain. What else is there? Spinal Tap is a far 2nd.

2. What's your favorite music concert video? Sign 'O' The Times. In 1987 I bought the video with my first paycheck. :) I still have the video. Its worn the hell out. I now have a semi-bootleg DVD of the movie, which will have to do until Prince gets off his ass and makes a really nice DVD of it.

3. What do you pay more attention to in a song: the music or the lyrics? Oooh, good question. It depends on the music. If its dance pop shit, then neither. If its rap, I listen to the beat and the words, giving neither much credit. I think it should be a 50-50 deal. Some people have great lyrics and shitty music, and vice versa. I like that Elton John realized early on that he wasn't a brilliant lyricist, but that he was a great pianist. I'm sure that's played a huge part in his success. Or maybe it was that Donald Duck outfit.

4. Here's a serious question involving a touchy situation. You've won a backstage pass to meet your favorite band! You go there after the show, very excited to meet everyone. When you arrive, you see some of the band members doing something illegal (drugs, weapons, etc.). After you've greeted the band, had them sign autographs, etc., do you tell anyone what you saw? Or do you keep quiet because you're sure they do this kind of thing all the time and it's no big deal? Tell everyone. While I'm not that naive as to think that bands are role models... I do believe that you should know the people you're looking up to. And if I saw a performer doing coke or meth or something, thats a personal flaw, regardless if he or she is a great musician. That doesn't give you a pass to be a druggie. Would Hendrix, the Sex Pistols, Motley Crue or the Doors been as good as they were without drugs? I don't know, but as a person in real life, you're known by the company you keep. I wouldn't hang out with a drug addict, regardless if he plays a mean guitar.

February Abby Video

Question of the Day

1. Name five famous Georges

1. George Washington
   
2. George W. Bush
   
3. George Clooney
   
4. George Jefferson
   
5. George Jetson

2. How many one-dollar bills do you have in your wallet/purse right now? 3

3. Ever been to Washington, D.C.? How about Washington State? Tell us a little about your trip to either of those places. And if you haven't been to either place, tell me what Washington, D.C. monument, institution or tourist attraction you most want to see if you ever go there. I went to DC when I was a high school senior. It was very interesting. At the time I didn't appreciate it as much as I would if would go now. I was more interested in the fun things and the chicks in the group rather than the educational benefits. Like when A.J. Soprano went to DC and he told Tony all he did was play Playstation 2 in the hotel. :) There are a few things I remember about DC: I had an appointment to meet both a Senator and a Rep from Louisiana. Both were in Louisiana while I was in Washington, so I got a tour of their stupid offices. How exciting. And I remember the Jefferson Memorial because the tour guide/counselor explained that the phrase "Peeping Tom" came from the memorial because the statue looks into the White House bedroom. I also remember the Iwo Jima Memorial, because the tour guide/counselor said there was one extra hand pushing the flag up, and that was to represent the hand of God. And also I went to the Israeli embassy, and knew nothing about Israel, but felt compelled to ask the guy (who may or may not have been someone important, he just had a thick accent) if Israel had nuclear weapons. He looked at me and said, "If we did I wouldn't tell you." L'chayim, asshole. I also went to the Lincoln Memorial, and the tour guide/counselor said there was one word misspelled, and we should try and find it. We never did.

I've never been to Washington State, and have no desire to go there. It probably smells like teen spirit. Eeeew.


1. A song by a Beatle "In My Life"
2. A song featuring piano as the main instrument "Piano Man" Billy Joel duh
3. A song with a woman's name in the title "Michelle" The Beatles
Sont les mots qui vont trés bien ensemble
4. A song with a man's name in the title "Real Slim Shady" Eminem
5. A song about money "Money" by Pink Floyd, "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits
6. A song with weather in the title "Purple Rain" Prince, "Here Comes The Sun" The Beatles, "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" BJ Thomas.
7. A song with parentheses in the title. "Something In The Water (Does Not Compute)" Prince
8. A song made by a punk band "God Save The Queen" The Sex Pistols
9. A song with the word "song" in the title "Your Song" Elton John
10. A song you love so much you stop and listen whenever you hear it.
Hmmm... too many. I can't pick just one.

My message to those asswipes who are rioting and murdering because of that cartoon of Muhammed: LIGHTEN UP.

Monday Music Mambo

David Bowie or David Lee Roth? Bowie. David Lee Roth is a so-so singer. He's more of a personality. David Bowie is a music legend with talent beyond just singing and acting goofy.
Hotel Calfornia or Heartbreak Hotel? Hard one... Both are classics. California is like the #1 classic rock radio tune of all time, but Heartbreak is one of the genre's earliest hits. I'd say just because of the complexity and various layers, Hotel California is better. Maybe its the warm smell of colitas talking.
KISS or Love? Kiss. I never heard of a band called "Love." I know Courtney Love, and she's scarier than 4 middle age guys in clown makeup.
Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Page? Hendrix. though the two are neck-and-neck, I'd say even Page would agree with me. Jimi re-defined playing electric guitar. Very few can come close to him on the guitar. Page is one of them, though.
Faith Hill or Faith No More? Faith No More, simply because they rock, and Faith Hill is a girly country singer.
Safety Dance or The Hustle? Eeew neither.
George Clinton or George Strait? No competition, Clinton. One guy sings about an Atomic Dog, the other sings about a dog under the porch. Besides, you think George Strait would wear a diaper on stage, and name one of his albums, "Hey Man, Smell My Finger."
Elvis Presley or Elvis Costello? Presley, he's the King. Costello is overrated.
Little Richard or Lil' Jon? Lil Jon, cuz I don't think he'd take one up the ass.
Steven Tyler or Mick Jagger? A tie. Both are awesome singers and showmen. Tyler my have a little more vocal skill than Mick, but Mick has the experience of helping define rock over the last four decades.
Keith Richards or Joe Perry? Another tie. Neither is better than the other. Both are skillful and have done some of Rock's most classic anthems. However Keith may have a slight edge because of his age and experience.
Live album or studio album? Its apples and oranges. Both have their merits, and both have their downfalls. I think they're different animals. Studio Albums sound better but Live albums have an energy that you don't get playing in a studio doing multiple takes. On the other hand its those multiple takes that make things sound great. Plus on a live album you can really see someone's skill as a musician. In the studio, you don't know if its studio tricks thats making something sound like it does.
Fender or Gibson? I don't play, so I really can't tell. I think its mostly the player and not the instrument. Hendrix playing a $20 box from Sears would sound better than me playing an original Les Paul. So there ya go.

Chas & Abby

Behold The CW!!!

I'm getting my own network!
I would have picked ChasTV as the name, but "The CW" works just as well. I promise to have reality shows that barely resemble reality... I promise to have black sitcoms that exagerrate stereotypes... I promise to take beautiful 30-somethings and make them pretend like they're teenagers to give real teenagers' self-esteem an abortion kick to the gut. All this plus a third rate newscast made up of stories you don't give a shit about, told by people who don't know shit about them.
Now for a catchy slogan...
"The CW... one letter away from 'The Cow'"
"You'll see double when you watch the CW"
"The CW... no it don't stand for country and western or The Crack Whore."
"Must 'C W' TV"
"The station that plays the 'Mama's Family' Reruns."
"The CW... hating Ryan Seacrest since 2006"
"You're money back if we suck."
"We've merged the WB & UPN.. can you say 'Nice package'?"
"WWJW?..The CW!" (What Would Jesus Watch?)
"Is Fonzie Busy?"

What do you think? Hit Comments and release your inner Van Der Beek.

Speaking of TV... NBC has cancelled one of my favorite shows, The West Wing. It jumped the shark about 2 seasons ago, when the original creators left the show. Oh well, the reruns still rule!

1. Name three songs that have the word "rain" or "water" in the title. To make it harder, I'll do 3 of each.

1. Purple Rain - Prince(how obvious)
2. Mandolin Rain - Bruce Hornsby
3. Rain - The Beatles

1. Waterfalls - TLC
2. Something In The Water (Does Not Compute) - Prince
3. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel

2. Ever been to a concert where it was raining? If not, is there a band or festival that you would want to see even if it meant standing in the rain? Yeah, Kiss & Aerosmith once and Jimmy Buffett. Both times were at the Ampitheatre Formerly Known As Lakewood. I'd stand in the rain for Prince, and thats about it.
3. You're a movie producer, and you need a soundtrack for a weather scene. Pick songs that you think would fit with the following pieces of action:

a) Clouds coming in - Clubbed To Death (Kurayamino Mix) - Rob D. Its dark and ominous, but it moves.
b) Rain starts to fall, wind starts to blow - Metallica - One. The song starts slow and builds to a crescendo, much like a rain storm.
c) Sun finally comes along and makes everything better again - Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles (kinda obvious) Starts out quiet and ends on a happy note, like when the sun comes out.

1. Before I walk out the door, I always check to make sure I have my wallet phone and keys.
2. I can't seem to catch up on my _______. Bills
3. The one surface in my house that always seems to get cluttered fast is _______. Desk
4. If I sleep past _____, I feel that I've slept in too late. Sheeit... you can never sleep too late.
5. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to _______. be satisfied.
6. I hope to have my income taxes done by _______. One day after I get my w2s.
7. This year I'd like to make more time for _______. putting cornrows in Willie the Homeless Wino's nappy hair.

Stayin' Alive... barely

The real reason Cheney's had foot problems... too much disco.

The Revolution Has Begun

"You're going to be trapped in an elevator with seven comedians for three hours. Choose seven famous laugh-makers, living or dead, that you'd most like to spend time with when they were in their prime."

1. Chris Rock The funniest stand-up for years. His movies aren't all that funny, but as far as standing on a stage making people laugh, he's the man. Even from his early days on SNL and his cameo in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka you could see he knew he was funny as fuck.
   Embarrassing Stumble: Down To Earth. A dead Chris embodies an old rich white guy. Cliches run amok.
   
2. Dave Chappell This guy is scary funny. His stand up is funny, and his show is funny as hell. Rick James, Lil Jon both owe the resurgence to him and his making fun of them.
   Embarrassing Stumble: The token black buddy in You've Got Mail. 'Nuff Said.
   
3. Early 80s Eddie Murphy Back in the day, his act was so funny and so dirty, that as a young kid it blew my mind. Listening to him talk about The Honeymooners, his uncle at the barbecue, and taking a dump was groundbreakingly funny. "Raw" is a comedy classic, and a very accurate title of a comedy concert movie. Now he's turned into a family-movie star. He went from Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. He went from talking dirty to talking with animals. He went from talking about nuts to being the Nutty Professor.
   Embarrassing Stumble: Anything after 1990, including that video he made with Michael Jackson. Tito bring me a tissue.
   
4. Early 90s Andrew Dice Clay When he did his first HBO special about 1988, and brought his Dirty Nursery Rhymes to the world... it was mind-blowing. Nobody talked like him. Then after about a year, his schtick got old.
   Embarrassing Stumble: He tried to be the caring dad on a CBS sitcom. Lasted about 10 minutes. Imagine that.
   
5. Rodney Dangerfield One of the originals. One of the first guys to have a catch phrase. "I don't get no respect." He made funny movies as well. Watch "Caddyshack" and "Back to school" and then tell me he's not the king of the one-liner!
   Embarrassing Stumble: Lady Bugs. Coach Rodney turns a kid into a cross-dresser so a girls soccer team can win. How heartwarming.
   
6. Dennis Miller His intelligent wit mixed with a good old-fashioned funny joke gave him his own niche. His rants are peppered with pop culture and obscure references that make you feel like you're a genius if you pick up on it.

   In the elaborate wardrobe of human emotions, guilt is the itchy wool turtleneck that's three sized too small. Guilt may be difficult to articulate, but when it surfaces, it's as unwelcome and distinct as Jethro Bodine in the lobby of an Ian Shraeger hotel.

   Do you know who Jethro and Ian are?
   Embarrassing Stumble: Became a Conservative
   
7. Artie Lange He's a fat Italian guy who likes to curse and crack wise. I can't imagine why he'd be one of my favorite comedians. :) He's the everyman comedian. You'd think he was just the guy who sits next to you on the bus or that works down the hall from you, until you realize he's the funniest mufuka on the planet. He also has the best beginning to a story: "Ya ever been high on heroin and shit your pants?"
   Embarrassing Stumble: Played the token fat buddy in The Bachelor the Chris O'Donnell movie where he has to marry Renee Zellwegger to inherit some money.
   

In general, I usually hate stand-up comics. How many different jokes can you make about the president, flying, hotel rooms, and socks in the dryer? I also think that people seek out the spotlight and feel the need to make people laugh because of something in their childhood. Mommy didn't give them enough attention or they had overly strict parents. Wah. The funny thing is, most comedians will incorporate that into their act.

---

Would you rather:
1. get a prank phone call at 2:00am OR sit on a whoopie cushion on a public bus? Get a prank call... I like a good prank call. As for the whoopie cushion on a bus, who gives a shit.
2. get poked in the eye OR get a wedgie?
The wedgie, cuz you can pull out a wedgie. You can't unpoke your eye!
3. taken to the hospital because of a freak accident involving a llama and whipped cream OR an allergic reaction on your nipples from latex?
The nipples one. I could make up a story about why latex was on them. I don't think I could lie about my llamasexual experiences.
4. get bit by a rabid chihuahua OR a wild badger?
Badger? Badger? We don't need no stinking Badger!

1. Something that bothered you last week. Bills.
2. Something that made you smile Every minute I spend with Abby
3. Something that made you sad. Going to work.
4. Something that made you angry Useless Reporterettes whose personal problems become my problems.
5. Something that made you happy 1-9-05 Stern Uncensored!
I finally got my Sirius radio hooked up. I haven't listened to many of the stations beyond the Stern Channel and the classic rock one. Just being able to listening to Howard on the long commute to work is worth the price of admission. The other 100+ channels are a bonus. Not to mention its an alternative to the shitty Atlanta stations.

"Rusty Cage" by Johnny Cash is one of the best songs ever.


Can you guess what this is a picture of? Hit comments and release your inner Jethro Bodine.

All is Quiet On New Year's Day...

1. From a financial standpoint, was 2005 a good year or a bad year for you? Do you expect 2006 to be better or worse?
Bad, very bad. See #2 for why...

2. What was your least favorite moment of 2005? February 25, 2005. I had a baby on the way, a house being built, and I got fired... the other worse moment (among many) was riding to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta with my 3 month old daughter in an ambulance.

3. Did you lose anyone close to you in 2005? If so, who were they? No, thank God.

4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What do you know about blogging?

Well, You Know What a Blog Is...

You got 3/8 correct! But, truthfully, most blogs probably bore you.

How Much Do You Know About Blogging?

I really don't give a shit.

5. Where were you when 2005 began? Where were you when 2005 ended? I was in a shitty apartment with a pregnant Tina... As the year ends, I'm in my own home, with Tina and my little angel, Abby.

6. Did you make new year's resolutions for 2005? If so, how many did you keep? No resolutions, if you want to do something, just do it. Don't wait for the beginning of the year. Does the change of the calendar year really give you more willpower? Do you know of anyone who has had a resolution that's stuck?

---

I know its been a while since I've posted anything, but I've been busy with work and the holidays. This year is now over, and I've got nothing but good thoughts for 2006!

Logical?

"At night, when all the world's asleep, the questions run so deep for such a simple man. Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd but please tell me who I am."

Chas By Dali

Salvador Dali Salvador Dali should paint your portrait. You love to think about the world in a different way then everyone else. You are very ambitious, and you like strange things. You are curious about everything and love to learn. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

This is funny because Dali is my favorite artist. Who is yours? Hit comments and release your inner Van Gogh.

---

I haven't been to the movies in months, but I've been twice in the last few weeks. Here's my reviews:
Walk The Line. I liked it. The life story of Johnny Cash. I'm a big fan of the man in black, and I liked seeing his story. I was a little disappointed in Joaquin Phoenix. He had Cash's on-stage moves down, but when he was off the stage, he was just Joaquin Phoenix with a country accent. I do respect that he and Legally Blonde sang their own songs. And the movie glossed over much of his life. For example, they never mentioned his resurgence in the 1990s. This guy had hits in 4 different decades. How many performers can say that? Very few. And they spent too much on his drug addiction. Sure he was a pill-popper, but is that what defined him? But overall, it was an entertaining movie. It wasn't as good as Ray.
I also saw Rent, It was good. I enjoyed the music, and the stage production. Abby didn't like it though. Her review: "Whats with all the queers?"
What about you? Seen any good flicks lately? Hit comments and release your inner Ebert.

Christmas 2005 At Chas's House

monday madness

1. When is the last time you moved?
8 months ago when I moved into the new house.
2. How many times in your life have you moved?
At least 20. I have never lived anywhere for more than 5 years.
3. In your opinion, what is the worst thing about moving?
EVERYTHING! I hate it. The boxes, the lifting, the illegal day laborers you have to find on side of the road to move your shit.
4. What is the most exciting thing about moving?
Having a clean slate to start with.
5. If you've lived in the same place all your life, do you plan to move in the future?
I actually like the fact that I've lived in many different places. I've seen lots of different things, met a lot of different people. I know many many people who have lived in the same place their whole lives... and they think the world ends at the city limits. Broaden your horizons.
6. Do you WANT to move somewhere else; if so, where
New York, DC or LA. But who knows if I could afford it!

BeliBlog: Four For Friday Archives

Q1 - Holiday: Thanksgiving in the United States is traditionally celebrated with a large meal shared among family and friends. In both Canada and the U.S., it's an important family gathering, with many people often choosing to travel long distances to be with loved ones for the celebration. What did you do on Thanksgiving Day, and, what was on the menu for the big meal? I ate alone at Golden Corral... thinking how much the day sucked... about crowds... about closure.. about choices.
Q2 - Religion: I keep seeing this bumper sticker that reads, 'Jesus Is The Answer!' What do you think the question is? Fill in the blank: _____ H. Christ.
Q3 - Innovation: What's one invention that would dramatically change your life for the better? A Crystal Ball.
Q4 - Shopping: Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving in the United States, is historically one of the busiest retail shopping days of the year. How much of your holiday shopping do you get done on Black Friday? How much do you save for what could be considered 'last minute'?" Aw Hell no. I've been shopping on black friday once or twice. No bargain is worth fighting the unwashed masses.
1. Favorite brand of jeans: Levis.
2. Magazine you read regularly: FHM
3. If a button came off your clothing, could you sew it back on? Like I know how to do that!
4. Have you ever had a curfew? When I was a lil boy, my mom told me I could set my own curfew, but I had to stick to it. That worked out fine. It was rarely ever past 2am... I'll take sleep over beer anytime.
5. Most dangerous thing you've done: Every day you face dangers. I could spill some bleach in my Fruity Pebbles... I could get hit on the way to work... I could trip and stuck a screwdriver in an outlet. People do dangerous things on purpose because they're missing something, and that fills a void.
1. Is it approaching winter where you live? Its colder than a witch's tit in the ATL.
2. What season do you like the best? Summer. I like it hotter than a whore in church.
3. What is your favorite thing to do to relax in the upcoming winter/summer? Chase Abby.
1. What, in your opinion, is the most important invention in history? The computer and TV, its a tie.
2. What future invention would you like to see fully functional in your lifetime? Space Tourism for non-millionaires
3. If you could go back in time to witness one event from history, which would you choose? The moon landing.
4. If you could witness one imminent event in the future, what would it be? First Contact with the Vulcans
5. If you had to be any person in history, who would you want to have been? Nobody! Whoever you is, be dat.

I seem to have left my wit and sense of humor in my other pants.

My 2 Favorite TV Lines

From Sanford & Son:
Julio: Buenos Noches, Mr. Sanford.
Fred: Beans and Nachos to you too.


From WKRP:
Mr. Carlson: As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly.

Hurt.

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hold The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again A million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way

I knew it!

Kevin Federline: Musical Genius

I have to say K-Fed's new single is sure to set your heart on fire. Bubba can do it all. He raps, he reproduces, he wears hats. Check out his mad lines...

My favorite story of the day...

Hot lezbo cheerleaders busted for making sweet sweet love in a terlet stall. And here I thought that was only in the movies. No word if it ended like the Skinemax movie with the cop patting down the girls with his "night stick."

Brown Got Railroaded? Not likely.

I know its a little late to still be bitching about Hurricane Katrina, but this really pisses me off. Anyone who says that FEMA's response was the best they could do given the information they have is dead wrong. Marty Bahamonde, a FEMA official testified before a Senate committee earlier this month. And he says he was in the thick of it, in the Superdome, with people dying and shitting in hallways and starving to death. Luckily he had his blackberry that was amazingly still working. He sent the word out soon as the situation got bad. He was met with a polite thank you or nothing at all. He did, however, get a directive from FEMA director Michael Brown's press secretary, Sharon Worthy, regarding His Holiness's eating schedule. From
USATODAY.com:

"Worthy wrote that 'it is very important that time is allowed for Mr. Brown to eat dinner' in Baton Rouge. She went on to express concern that Brown should be allotted plenty of time in his schedule because 'restaurants are getting busy.'

Bahamonde, who received a copy of the e-mail at the time, wrote a reply that said, 'OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!', according to an e-mail transcript. 'Just tell her that I just ate an MRE and (went to the bathroom) in the hallway of the Superdome along with 30,000 other close friends so I understand her concern about busy restaurants.' "

Michael Brown should be held personally responsible for the deaths along the Gulf Coast. I know that one man can't save everyone's life, but his job was to manage federal emergencies. Isn't that what FEMA stands for? Of course part of the blame rests on the shoulders of N.O. Mayor Ray "Come help or I'll curse" Nagin, or LA Governor/Deer-In-Headlights Kathleen Blanco. They knew the city was one storm away from devastation, but did they get everyone ready? Part of the blame also goes to the residents of New Orleans who stayed. Poor, homeless or whatever, you have to do what you can to survive. It has nothing to do with money. And finally, the blame also goes to Hurricane Katrina, for breaking the levee. Had the levee not broke, things would not have been so bad. I'm sure somewhere along the line, somebody knew the levee would not hold, but emergency officials probably had no reason to think it wouldn't.

Like they say, hindsight is 20/20. The city needs to learn from the mistakes of the past, and not repeat them.

What do you think? Hit comments and release your inner Michael Moore.

The Little Dragonfly 

What do you think of...

the use of corsets Sounds painful.
Star Wars, the movie The greatest ever. This tuesday the final DVD comes out. You know I'm gonna be the first dork in line at Best Buy. Overall, Star Wars is a pop culture phenomenon, that changed the movie industry, and it was a big part of my childhood. The special edition of 'Office Space' comes out tuesday as well. I'mma have to get that one too.
the possibility of a bird flu epidemic Get A flu shot and have some Tamiflu ready. I don't think human to human transmission of it is possible, so unless you're the South Park Chicken Lover, You probably will be alright. The poultry industry had a small outbreak in the early 80s, and they put up certain safeguards. Still, better safe than sorry.
actor Kelsey Grammer ('Frasier') I always thoght him and his brother were gay on the show, despite their lusting after the opposite sex. In real life, Grammer has a hot wife.
Horror fiction I dunno, I would have to read a book to form an opinion on that subject, and I can't make that kind of commitment in this post-9/11 world.

1. how did you celebrate hallowe'en as a child? did your mother make your costume, did you go trick-r-treating with friends, etc? My mom would either make me a costume or just go buy me one. I grew out of trick-or-treating fairly early. Mostly because it involved walking, even though it was for candy.

2. what was your best (or most memorable) costume growing up? My mom made me a cool Stormtrooper uniform. It was basically a white shirt and pants with a design drawn on it with a sharpie. I went as Gene Simmons when I was 8, even though I hadn't heard one song by Kiss, I still thought he was cool.

3. a lot of evangelical christians refuse to celebrate hallowe'en because they feel it is "satan's holiday." how do you feel about that? I feel its presumptuous to put an apostrophe in halloween. In the dictionary, there's no apostrophe, and in every place its written you don't see one. How ghey. Anyway, people who think Halloween is satan's holiday are foolish. The holiday is about dressing up and eating candy, and going to a party maybe. Thats it, nothing else. My baby's going as a dragonfly, is she a devil worshipper now? The christians who are against it obviously have not learned the history of the holiday.

The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31.

The story goes on to say that you dress up because the souls of those who died the previous year are looking for a body to possess, but they can't find you if you're dressed up. So to all you Christians out there who don't like halloween, LIGHTEN UP, AND EAT SOME CANDY.

4. as an adult, do you ever dress up for hallowe'en? Occasionally. I did last year:

5. do you give out candy every year to trick or treaters, or do you turn off your lights and pretend you're not home? I've lived in apartments up to now, so I usually turn out the lights and pretend I'm not home. One time while living in an apartment, I walked to the dumpster to throw away my trash, and on the way back I noticed some kids were knocking on my door. I waited across the parking lot for 15 minutes just to make sure the coast was clear and I could go back inside. What a dick I beez.
This year I live in suburbia in a house, so we're gonna give out candy, if we don't eat it ourselves first. We carved pumpkins tonight which will be our decoration.

6. let's say you were going to a very exclusive, chi-chi costume party for grown-ups. You had unlimited funds to purchase/rent/make your dream costume. what would you go as? tell us about your perfect costume.
Probably a really really accurate Darth Vader costume with the voice changer and breath sounds thingie. Either that or Britney Spears.
7. what's the best hallowe'en costume you've ever seen, either on the 'net, on TV/movies or in real life? Oprah Winfrey, she's pretty scary.

8. every year, i have to purchase the hallowe'en costumes the day of hallowe'en because mr. laura will eat my candy beforehand. do you have a hard time NOT eating the hallowe'en candy before you give it out? ;) Hell yeah. I put our candy bowl on top of the fridge, but that's kinda useless cuz while you're scoping out whats in the fridge, you just reach up and grab a fun-sized Twix™ brand cookie bar.

So Brave, So... Brave.

We Didn't Start The Fire

monday madness

1. diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Only Barbara Bush wears pearls.
2. paperback or hardcover books? Whichever has the most pictures.
3. carpet or hardwood floors? I got both in the casa, but I think hardwoods are nice.
4. dogs or cats? I'm not a pet person, but I think dogs have the edge.
5. fluffy or firm pillow? Fluffy
6. fine point or medium point pens? Medium Point. It makes nicer lines.
7. clocks a little fast or on time? A little fast, just cuz I'm lazy.
8. mahjong or spider solitaire (or other)? Neither, I'm not a fag.
9. wall calendar or desk calendar? Both, again cuz I'm lazy.
10. 'Survivor' or 'The Amazing Race?' Neither, I'm not a fag.

1. What fire-related music moment do you think tops them all? Jimi Hendrix lighting his guitar on fire, Keith Moon's drum set exploding, Michael Jackson's jheri curl catching fire during a Pepsi commercial, or Left Eye of TLC setting her boyfriend's house on fire? If you can think of one I didn't list that's even better, let's hear about it! Richard Pryor catching hissef on fire while smoking crack. He then ran down the street on fire. I can just hear that noise that he'd be making!

2. Is there a CD/LP/mp3 in your collection that you'd like to watch burn down to nothing? It could be a current album that you're embarassed to own, or an album you bought in the past that you regret buying. I don't usually buy CDs for this very reason... the last shitty one that I bought was "Ace Of Base." I'm quite embarrased about that.

3. What musical performance, either live or recorded, do you think was so smokin' hot that the fire brigade should have been called? Any by Prince. He'll put anyone else to shame, except for like Hendrix or the Beatles. OH, and here in the "colonies" we call the "fire brigade" a "fire department."

4. Ok this isn't a match question, but sort of related. Have you ever held up a lighter during a concert? If not, would you ever and what band would you do it for? Nah, too cliche. Maybe if I was going to a Skynyrd concert, or a Klan Rally.

Prince Needs A New Hip

I was sad to hear this.

Pop superstar Prince is facing painful hip surgery to help him cope with discomfort brought on by years of performing in high-heeled boots.

The pint-sized When Doves Cry singer is thinking twice about a full hip replacement, according to sources close to him, because, as a Jehovah's Witness he's against the blood transfusion part of the operation.

The 47-year-old star is on medication as he attempts to battle the pain of his bad joints, according to US tabloid National Enquirer.

First of all, I'd take anything from the Enquirer with a grain of salt. Also, it does make sense that years of walking in heels, dancing, etc would take a toll on the brother's hips.

If this is true, I think its ridiculous that he doesn't want blood transfusions. That is retarded. Those religions who will forego medical treatment for religious reasons should be tried for murder. Do they really think that God doesn't want them to live or feel better? How could they sit there and deny their children medical care, even watch their kid die, because the church tells them its the law.

Prince should either wise the hell up, and get the operation or sit out the rest of his life in a wheelchair in pain.

My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?"

The latest interview with aging hipster Madonna got me thinking. In the interview with "This Is London." She told them she's a stern disciplinarian with her children, and won't even let them watch TV:

"My kids don't watch TV. We have televisions but they're not hooked up to anything but movies. TV is trash. I was raised without it. We don't have magazines or newspapers in the house either."

Apparently that fake accent has gone to her head. Did she forget what got her to the top of the entertainment world? The very trash TV, newspapers and movies she now despises. Now everyone has a right to change their mind, and everyone has a right to raise their kids like they want. But you gotta dance with the one that brung you to the dance, Mo. The Kabbalah's making her mental. Why can't she just be a Scientologist and wait for the aliens to come? What a hypocrite. "I write childrens books, I'm a perfect mother now" Whatever. Wasn't there a picture in your "Sex" book getting d.p.'d by Big Daddy Kane and Vanilla Ice? or something like that. It take much more than an old lady dress and a fake accent to cover up such a phony. And her music sucks these days too. How hard is it to hear a song at a club, then pay a producer to make an identical song and sing over it? She's become the Artist formerly known as relevant. I guess she still has some popularity, I'm writing about her, ain't I?
Look at her contemporaries from the 80s... Prince don't curse any more and is a holy roller, and his songs were considered dirty back in the day. But he still sings "Dance Music Sex Romance" and the like. And look at Michael Jackson, he's just as freaky now as he was back then. You don't see him coming out against wearing one glove and high-waters with sequined socks. And he's stayed true to his backing of men sleeping in beds with young boys.

In other news, I know very little about sports... but I do know what an integral part the New Orleans Saints are to Louisiana and that region. There's talk that the team's temporary home, San Antonio, is trying to keep the Saints there. The team's longtime owner, Tom Benson, has lived there for years. For once I agree with N.O.'s numbskull mayor Ray Nagin, he said, "We want the team back, but we might not want its owner back." I say if someone's gonna kick a city when its down, they deserve that bunch of losers. Its disrespectful to a town that has already gone through so much. New Orleans over the years has bent over backwards for Tom Benson. I remember numerous times growing up that he threatened to move the Saints to a stadium just over the Mississippi state line or to somewhere else. I hope this isn't another ploy to get more money out of the city. When the Saints do get back to the Superdome, its going to be virtually brand new, since the hurricane and the evacuees destroyed it. But hey, what do I know, I don't give a shit about football, I just hate to see another bad thing happen to my hometown.

I'm anxious to check out the 10th anniversary DVD of Mallrats... If I can watch it.

Which one?

1. Lemonade or Iced Tea? Ice Tea, no self-respecting southerner would drink anything else.
2. DVD or VHS? DVD. VHS going the way of 8-Tracks, Mood Rings, and Beta (which was a better format).
3. Gold or Silver? White Gold.
4. Baseball or Tennis? Neither. Both are as boring a watching paint dry.
5. Spring or Autumn? Spring. Autumn sounds like a white trash lady's name.
6. Diet or Regular? Both.
7. Hearts or Stars? Stars
8. Snail Mail or Email? Definately E-mail
9. Shop: Online or In-Store? Online of course.
10. Credit Card or Check? Credit Card.

Question of the Day

If any one of the holidays had to be celebrated twice in a year, which one would you want it to be? Christmas. People take half a day off from being assholes and tolerate their relatives with some modicum of love. And you get presents. And you get to see the Andy Williams Christmas Special.

1. What's your favorite scary movie? Scary book? They make scary books? Any of the Hannibal Lecter Series. Other scary movies like Freddy, Jason, etc are predictable and not scary at all.
2. Who is scarier, Freddy Kruger(nightmare on elm street), Jason(friday the 13th) or Michael Myers(halloween)? Well none of them really. If I had to pick, I'd say Freddy Kruger, cuz he's not really real, so if you kill him, he'd just come back.
3. Do you believe in wherewolves, vampires and or zombies? No. However, I believe in wolves (I've seen them), I believe in people who have severe allergies to the sun (I've seen them on TV), and people who are braindead but still walk around (I know many of them personally).
4. Are you superstitious? Why or why not? A little. Like keeping good luck charms and Karma.
5. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope.
6. Who is your favorite movie monster? Bette Midler.

The Flathead Symphony. Cool.

an experiment in multitasking: updating

an experiment in multitasking: updating the page, feeding abby, all in the middle of big lots.

My useless opinions on...

The art of Pablo Picasso: Cool. Eyes on one side of the face, neat-o.
Health Insurance: Its a necessary evil these days. HMOs get you coming or going. I have some socialized medicine thing. They do everything but stamp a bar-code on your forehead. But I'm glad I have some kind of insurance, even though they can't make me better. "Just get rest, take vitamins." Thanks a lot, Dr. Sawbones.
the year 1937: The year my first wife, Suzanne Pleshette, was born. How great is that year?
Ants: I hate them. They mess with my lawn, they bite you. Spray em Squash em Kill em.
Ballroom Dancing: Good for people born in 1937.
Do you have a preferred writing utensil? What happens if someone borrows it but doesn't bring it back?
Black pens. The secret to getting your pen back is to not give them the cap. People hate pens without caps. Plus people who see that you're not giving them the cap think you don't trust them, and will usually not ask to borrow a pen from you again.

---

This page shows you how you stack up against famous people... heightwise, of course. Because I'm a full foot taller than the late great Nell Carter, but she towers over me when it comes to talent.

I'm sick of it all.

"Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" Tough, you think you've got the stuff You're telling me and anyone You're hard enough You don't have to put up a fight You don't have to always be right Let me take some of the punches For you tonight Listen to me now I need to let you know You don't have to go it alone And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you when I don't pick up the phone Sometimes you can't make it on your own We fight all the time You and I...that's alright We're the same soul I don't need...I don't need to hear you say That if we weren't so alike You'd like me a whole lot more Listen to me now I need to let you know You don't have to go it alone And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you when I don't pick up the phone Sometimes you can't make it on your own I know that we don't talk I'm sick of it all Can - you - hear - me - when - I - Sing, you're the reason I sing You're the reason why the opera is in me... Where are we now? I've still got to let you know A house still doesn't make a home Don't leave me here alone... And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you that makes it hard to let go Sometimes you can't make it on your own Sometimes you can't make it The best you can do is to fake it Sometimes you can't make it on your own

3 parachutes for the cast of Seinfeld

You've been given 3 parachutes, but there are 4 people who need them. Who will you not give one to: Jerry, Elaine, George, or Kramer?
Elaine's gotta go. Its Jerry's show, you gotta have him. Kramer is hilarious, and would never hurt anyone intentionally... unintentionally sure... but he's the most considerate of the group (which ain't saying much). Costanza has to live, if nothing else because it would make him more miserable. Elaine is a self-centered bitch who never contributed anything to the group... even though that was pretty much her character.

01. Can you remember where you were in life ten years ago? If you could travel back in time and whisper something to yourself ten years ago, what would it be? Ten years ago I was a college student in my senior year, interning at a tv station, learning my trade. Life was beautiful. I partied, I worked hard, I studied hard, I had some great friends, I lived at home, I had very few bills, it was great. There are many nights drinking in Mexico that I can barely remember. As for what I'd whisper to myself, it would probably be winning lottery numbers, Super Bowl winners, and some stock tips.

02. You inherit a large piece of land and decide to build a theme park a la "Disneyland, Sea World, etc.) What would you name your theme park and what would your mascot be? PornLand The mascot would be a cartoon dick with a smiley face on it. Dickey would be his name. His girlfriend, Smelly Pussy, is a cat with a funny lisp. Their neighbor is Dirty Beaver, she's a nosy, yet lovable little lady. Among the attractions: the noon nude parade through Downtown PornLand, "Its a Smut World, after all," where you can sample pornography from around the world (Stay away from Germany, unless you have a strong stomach), The Lesbian Log Ride, and Bukkake Mountain.

04. What would someone absolutely HAVE to know about you if they were considering sharing a room with you? Don't touch my shit.

05. According to the song White Rabbit, "one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small". If you were offered these pills today, which pill would you take and why? That songs sucks. Jefferson Airplane sucks. Jefferson Starship sucks. Starship sucks. 'We built this city' sucks too.

BeliBlog: Four For Friday Archives

Q: What are four (4) of your favorite words? Fuck, Cumquat, Yes, Queef
Q: What are four (4) things you hope to do this weekend? Sleep, heal this illness, laundry, introduce Abby to vegetables!
Q: What are the four (4) things you say most often? Fuck, Cumquat, Yes, Queef.
Q: What are four (4) things you wish you could do right now? Sleep, heal, stop worrying, run a marathon
Q: What are four (4) things that turn you on? naked ladies... 4 of them.
Q: What are four (4) things you know you can't do? go back in time, fix past mistakes, live up to expectations, sit ups.
Q: What are your four (4) favorite things to do? Play with Abby, Sleep, anything creative, fuck.
Q: What four (4) sounds or noises do you absolutely hate? Bodily excretory noises, ringing phones, SMPTE Tone, other peoples cryin kids (mine never cries ;) )

What I'm gonna wear for Halloween...

Thank God for Target :)

Damn Spammers

If you read the comments, you'll notice that there's spam in there now. So, now you have to type in a verification word if you leave comments. If you hate spam, hit comments and release your inner Federline.

Things I don't give a shit about, but yet they will be plaguing the news for days:

• Britney & Cletus are on the rocks. Good. "Its like I'm raising two kids." Thats just scary.


• Nicky And Jessica are on the rocks. Good. Another two Rocket Scientists.


• "Tom-Kat" is expecting. Great, the psychologists of the world are all simultaneously high-fiving each other.

Question of the Day

"You've been given 3 parachutes, but there are 4 people who need them. Who will you not give one to:
Tom Cruise, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, or Kevin Federline?"
For the good of mankind, I'd throw out the parachutes with no one in them.

---

There are some points in my life when I think "what else can life throw at me?" then I think of those who inspire me, and I think, "Bring it on." Like my Dad says, You can't keep a good man down.

Separated At Birth?

Zoë & Abby

Zoë reading to Abby. Aren't they the cutest? Taken Sept. 25, 2005 at my house. Click for a bigger version.

Saturday Night Dead

2. How many photos that you have taken yourself are hanging on display in your home in a size of 8x10 or larger? (The print, not the frame!) None that are 8x10... but there are a few of Abby that I took that are framed, but 4x6. She really is photogenic... :)

3. How far do you live from your job? What is your commute time like? Has the distance prompted you to consider alternative transportation because of gas prices? 38 miles. >:( My commute time is usually 38 minutes because I speed, and at 3am, ain't nobody in the way. I would definately take public transportation if it was available, but MARTA don't reach the sticks where I beez.

4. Take this quiz: What decade does your personality live in?



what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd


5. What is the funniest, most original Halloween costume you've ever seen?
I dressed up as a nightstand and put a lamp shade on my head and dubbed myself the "One Night Stand." Top That!

6. What is your favorite paragraph in a literary work? This might be a thought, or a message, or a descriptive passage which has remained in your consciousness throughout the years. Be sure to post the name of the book and author.

Ezekiel 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepards the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brothers' keeper and finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.'

Feel The Funk Friday

1. What is the most important thing you've ever lost? Money
2. When is the last time you lost your keys? Never... I'm too worried about being stranded somewhere.
3. Have you ever felt like you've lost your mind? Every damn day.
4. Are you likely to ask for directions when lost or to continue to wander? I ask for directions, I'm too impatient to just keep wandering. But I usually try to have the directions and a number to call if I'm going somewhere unfamiliar.
5. Numerology: reliable or just a load of bunk? Load of Bunk.

---

Appetizer
Name something someone has done lately that impressed you. Everything Abby does amazes me.
Soup
Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they? I'm tired all day long so as soon as I lay down, I'm out.
Salad
If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay? Anywhere warm. Even if its here in ATL.
Main Course
When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant? The hillbilly BBQ place near my house.
Dessert
If you had a boat, what would you name it? The HMS Shagalot.

---

1. What kind of computer do you have? (Mac, iBook, Dell, etc.) Homemade... I roll my own, yo.
2. How old is it? Are you happy with it? I continually update it, and I started building my "perfect" machine in 1993, so its technically 12 years old, but has no old pieces in it.
3. How many computers are in your household? Just one.
4. What are your favorite games/timewasters on your computer? THIS WEBSITE!!
5. If money were no object, what kind of computer would you like to have? Not really anything special, just a new updated/faster one every year.

Question of the Day

"You've been asked to make a major change to any sporting game, in order to make it more interesting. You can change anything about it, the rules, the playing surface, the makeup of the teams, whatever you want, but it can only be one change. What game are you changing, and what will the change be?"

Girls beach volleyball... I'd enforce mandatory nudity.

What about you? Hit comments and release your inner Howard Cosell.

Useless Celebrities!

This paper rocked the top 10 useless celebs. I have to agree with them whole heartedly.

Do you agree? Hit comments and add your own celebs... release your inner Mary Hart.

Hurricane Rita could shit on New Orleans, even without a direct hit. God help those people. I wish they had a better group of people in charge there. Mayor Ray Nagin is like a retarded chimp. There's no water or 911 or electricity... lets let in 480,000 people. Can you say riot? The military guys seem to know what they're doing. The politicians are messing it up.

Paul McCartney live at Philips Arena last night was great. The guy can still rock at 63. I think it was funny how after about 3 minutes into each song, all the old farts in the audience had to sit down... those hip replacements can give out at any second. :) And then when Paul played one of his new songs, people make a beeline to the terlet or the beer stand. He did one of my favorite of his songs:

For No One Your day breaks, your mind aches You find that all the words of kindness linger on When she no longer needs you She wakes up, she makes up She takes her time and doesn’t feel she has to hurry She no longer needs you And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years! You want her, you need her And yet you don’t believe her when she said her love is dead You think she needs you And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years! You stay home, she goes out She says that long ago she knew someone but now he’s gone She doesn’t need him Your day breaks, your mind aches There will be time when all the things she said will fil your head You won’t forget her And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years!

One cool technical note. If you use Firefox, instead of hitting "Add Bookmark" to bookmark this page... hit that little icon in the lower right corner of the browser, and hit add bookmark there. What does that do? It puts the last few posts in a drop-down menu in your Bookmark pull-down menu. What does that mean? You can see if I have a new post without having to wait load up the page. If there is a new post, you can go straight to it. How retarded am I that I just discovered RSS feeds?

Blogthings - Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

I knew I would. I'm a friggin genius. take the test and release your inner George Washgington.

VH1.com : Shows : 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs...Ever : Countdown

Thought this was cool. I can hum most of these, unfortunately

Terra Cotta

Q1: Would you be willing to cut off all communication with everyone in your immediate family for one year if it meant by doing so you'd be saving the lives of 10 innocent people whom you do not know? If your answer is no, what if the scenario changed, and instead of 10 people, your action would save the lives of 100 of 1,000 complete strangers? Sure. My family would understand.

Q2: How often do you wash your hair? Every morning.

Q3: Last night, in a nationally-televised address carried by all four major television networks here in the U.S., President George W. Bush promised a massive federal effort aimed at rebuilding the lives, levees, and communities along Louisiana's, Mississippi's, and Alabama's Gulf Coast. In your opinion, should the city of New Orleans be rebuilt in its current location? Aw Hell yeah. The city isn't all the way gone. Many parts weren't damaged. New Orleans somewhere else wouldn't be New Orleans. It would be Orleansville or something like that. But that won't ever happen. The soul of New Orleans is firmly planted between Lake Ponchatrain and the Mississippi River... and nothing can ever change that.

Q4: What, if anything, is on the outside of your refrigerator? Places to eat Eggs Benedict, and a picture of the dining room set I want.

Appetizer
Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is? Female, easier on the eyes.

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be? Guitar God!

Salad
Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others. Green Pads. They'll clean anything. Especially on those heavy days...

Main Course
What do you strive for in life? Just to make it 'til tomorrow.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself? 15! boom-boom-boom... Is this thing on?

Top Five Questioning Songs (As always I give you the option of using songs with the word Question in the title or songs that ask questions...it's your choice)
a) Would I lie to you?
b) How does it feel? To be on your own? Like a complete unknown? Like a Rolling Stone.
c) Who'll Stop The Rain?
d) Whats New Pussycat?
e) Can't you smell that smell?

From this week's edition of DUH magazine: females are more likely to have bisexual experiences than men. Those of you who do, send me the pics.

Workin' At The Car Wash

• J.Lo's Bodyguards beat up Paul McCartney's one-legged wife, and stole her
  prosthetic leg. Maybe I'm Amazed...
  
• Renee Zellwigger is splitting with that country dude. He thought she was the character from Jerry Maguire. She thought he could distinguish reality from a movie. Maybe she didn't like the taste of Skoal.
  
• I'm posting via email. does it work?
  
• I don't remember french toast sticks. Maybe someone else?

Tomorrow Never Knows

Thinking about the hurricane and all the death and destruction gets me down. Things are starting to turnaround there. Now everyones blaming everyone else. I think everyone in government, from the president,, down to that idiot cunt governor who looked like a deer in the headlights, to the mayor of New Orleans... who just assumed everything would be alright, then started screaming about what the state is entitled to. How sad. Its the whole mentality of entitlement that the city government has cultivated for the last 50 years. Lets just sit around, somebody'll do something for us. Look what it got them. Sure, they were poor and couldn't go anywhere, but there was plenty of warning to get out. They could scrape together $25 to buy a bus ticket. I guess I just have a different mentality.

I think about what I would do in that situation, and the answer is simple... JUST LEAVE AND DON'T COME BACK. I have enough family and friends around the south I'm sure I could crash on somebody's couch.

But it makes me wonder about all my memories being lost if my house got wiped out. Then I realize... those things can be replaced, and no flood can take away my memories. But it just gets you thinking about things you'd miss and things you miss already... like bleu cheese, pizza and orange county... and my moment of zen.

Today's moment of zen happened last week. I hate answering the phone at work, because its always a nut telling me their stupid story idea. So I've got a bad cold, I'm hopped up on dayquil, its 7am and I'd been at work since 3am, and the phones are ringing off the hook. So I pick up the phone. Sure enough, its a crazy bitch telling me about how dfacs took her kid because her infant was sick and how her midwife told her that e-coli in her vagina made her kid sick. So me, in my sickened state has to hear about this woman's putrid twat making giving her kid food poisoning. I wanted to tell her to hose out her snatch and call someone who gives a shit. Fuck it.

1.Do you ever just take a couple of days and go radio silent from the world? Why/why not? My whole life is radio silent. People need to check in to make sure I'm still living.
2. Do you ever make it a point to get outside your everyday life? What do you do? Where do you go? No. I'm busting my ass to make a living, when do I have time to go outside my everyday life?
3. Do you like it when people can't get ahold of you? How does it make you feel? Nah, I like hearing from people. Like old friends...
Bonus Question for Comments: Do you have any current plans to get away? If so, what are they? Maybe for Christmas...

Uggh, its been a long week, and its just half over.

Fat Dynamite.

Britney Spears has a kid now. Preston Michael Spears Federline. or "PMS" as they call him. How sad is it that I'll know how old britneys kid is, because he's the same age as my kid.

Where's Neve Campbell?

Take the quiz: "Which Horror Movie Are You?"

The Craft
You're whole life, you've felt different. You know you're different, and that is why you break away from the norm and don't give a shit what other people think about you. You're you, you're proud, you're a bit... weird might I say? but you're far more interesting than most people will ever percieve. Keep being yourself, whether people like it or not.

The Music Memoirs

1. Name three songs with anything fire related in the title.
a) Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire... Jimi Hendrix.
b) Fire... Bruce Springsteen/The Pointer Sisters
c) C'mon Baby Light My Fire... The Doors
d) Ring Of Fire... Johnny Cash
e) Burn, Baby, Burn... Disco Inferno... Random Disco Group
2. Name three artists with anything fire related in their name.
Earth, Wind & Fire
REO Speedwagon (its an old fire engine)
After The Fire (a random 80s group)
3. Name three albums with anything fire related in the name.
damn, no idea.
St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack album?? :)

---

Would you rather:
1. lapse into epileptic seizures everytime somebody says the word "squid" OR cluck like a chicken everytime somebody says "chicken"?
Epileptic Squids
2. have no bones, but complete muscular control of every part of your body OR four arms?
Four Arms.
3. your nose hair grow down past your chin no matter how much you cut it OR have earlobes twice the normal size?
Big Earlobes, more earrings
4. have people constantly mistake your sex (man v. woman) OR your sexual preference (straight v. gay)?
my sexual preference, I don't care if people think i'm gay, I know what I like!