Evening Dispatch

• That freak will finally lose on Jeopardy! Tomorrow. Good. He should use his knowledge of trivial matters for good instead of financial gain. Yeah right.
  
• What the hell kinda name is Phinnaeus?
  
• Heidi Klum is going to shill for McDonalds. Will they show her puking up her happy meal at the end of the commercial?
  
• National Treasure was a pretty good movie. Not exactly an Indiana Jones flick, but not as gay as The Mummy.
  
• Cheese is as addictive as Morphine. I've been known to mainline Queso Blanco, Freebase Mozzerella, and Snort some Provalone. Save me from myself.
  
• Dan Rather is quitting CBS News. I'm sure you've all heard about it. I think its too bad. I think he's getting railroaded out of the job, after the whole memo thing. Sure he's goofy on election night with his down-home colloquialisms, sure he's kind of a stuffed shirt sometimes. OK, maybe its a good thing that he's quitting. Some of the names being tossed around as replacements include current White House Correspondent John Roberts, and Reporter Scotty Pelley. I think both of these guys would do fine, but neither has "star power." CBS is also said to be courting Matty Lauer and Timmy Russert. I think these guys are what CBS needs. A shot of adrenaline. Lauer has a youthful look and name recognition, and is a seasoned journalist. Russert is by far one of the best interviewers on TV today. I love his style, he even makes boring blather sound halfway interesting. Rather's stepping-down also makes me wonder if we even need the nightly network news anymore. Anyone who is interested in the news will want it ASAP, and will turn to one of the cable news networks. If people want different angles on stories, they'll surely get it there. A 24-news operation has much more time to dedicate to a story than a 30-minute newscast. I don't even think people are necessarily tuning in to see the different anchors. Surely names like Bill O'Reilly, Shephard Smith, Paula Zahn, Larry King, and Tony Harris are just as recognizable as Jennings, Rather and Brokaw. No matter what, I'm sure Dan will enjoy his time off:
  
  
• My heart skipped a beat when I saw there was a fatal accident in Canton today.