Evening Dispatch

• I've found my true worth at my job. Forget my nearly a decade of experience, forget my award-winning writing abilities, or my stellar newscast producing... today my most important assignment: putting a 'Sex And The City' ringtone on my boss's cellphone.
  
• Speaking of Journalistic high points, the highlight of tonight's broadcast: Fred Powers showed his bandaged staph infection on the air. Luckily the folks at home eating dinner at 6:15 pm didn't get to see what was under the bandage. We in the control room were not so lucky. I may not be able to sleep tonight. I thank da lawd he didn't do a story on his 'roids. Whats the grossest thing you've seen on TV?
  
• Everywhere I look today, its: Justin and Cameron are engaged. Who gives a shit. These two idiots deserve each other.